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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期日 三月 04, 2007 12:55 pm 发表主题: I set my soul free |
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I will set my soul free
wherever the gloom dominates;
tides will bring joy back
and breezes cradle my dream.
I traverse the blue planet,
through mountains and over oceans,
with a rosy crown and golden
freedom as a queen.
When twilight glows at dawn,
I will return to the mermaid’s home,
singing and dancing there free,
a fairy with oblivion of bubbles’ doom.
I will set my soul free,
when day becomes night;
a black cloak is my wing
to take my sorrow away.
--old---
I will set my soul free,
when day becomes night;
a black cloak is my wing
to take my sorrow away.
I traverse the blue planet,
through mountains and over oceans,
with a rosy crown and
freedom as a queen.
When twilight glows at dawn,
I will return to the mermaid’s home,
singing and dancing there free,
a fairy with oblivion of bubbles’ doom.
I set my soul free
wherever the gloom dominates;
tides will bring joy back
and cradle my dream. _________________
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anna[星子安娜] anna作品集 Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141
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发表于: 星期一 三月 05, 2007 10:18 am 发表主题: |
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Comments from Penshell.
Hi Anna.
I really like the dreamlike sentiment in this. I might start the poem switching the last strophe to the beginning and the 1st to last. I say that because I think there is more strength in your 1st strophe.
Sue _________________ ---------------------
Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
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不清[不清] 不清作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2006-03-22 帖子: 1364
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