酷我-北美枫

[poet_sq]

------- 其中错误，诚请指正！！！





　　 From Eden

— To Shirley


1. Spiritual Love




Never had you given the secret love away
But kept hiding your aspirations quietly,
Racking your brains you've being very
On a road to your dreamland steadily.
Or now you're alone and feel lonely,
Seeking your right one psychically . . .
Goddess tells us all of it definitely!



I do feel like being with you only ——
Wow, my love's following you firmly!
　Oh, it will not be broken in my destiny.
　 It'll find your fullness and fine honesty,
　 While help me with opening mine frankly;
　 It has rejected reserves or any bashful way,
　 Take my mind to go across the space freely,
　 To be delivered there on a line momentarily.
　 Let me reward your tacit permission luckily,
　 And, response to all your charms in fervency . . .




------------------------------------------------------------------------------



　　　　 2. Sensual Love

Tell loves to each other excitedly,
Shower on and on sweetly in melody
——We hide no our feeling awkwardly,
Even have deserted all coyness completely.
I am unable to keep hesitant at all in sexuality,
I love you——Yes dear, I love you any way exactly!
Depending upon all existing, and here within my body,
It's my rights Gods of love have given to me already,
Urges me to go — tenderly in your own peculiarity
Stretching deeply inside your soft lush territory.
You are, then, spreading and, full of energy,
Let me taste them in each possible way.




All your pretty lust of love for venery
Permit me to hug and kiss you greedily,
Obey me to twitch with all breath heavily.
After thrust into now slowly now hurriedly,
Along with pleasure arouse and go repeatedly,
　　Again and again, I bring you all endless ecstasy.
　　Every time you always experience that excitedly,
Gaining what you want as shrinking and in many;
Let you try maintaining each moment all cheerily,
Let us indulge all of these releases stirring happily . . .



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------


3. Romantic Love

Oh, you are in paradise my truth-liked lady!
Impulses are surging ours between so crazily.
You're, so enjoy yelling with delight sexually,
Aiding relaxation and catch-in accordingly . . .
Let's keep all our holy happiness stay freely.
In such a soft swell-land of grace and liberty,
No one dare to say we're now dissolutely sexy.
It is for the right smell of our clean and honesty,
Makes moral integrity erecting always in fervency,
Keeps all the beauties bulging with humidity,
Enables us to insert each other's boundlessly.
Time after time in our positions and variety,
Fondling or encouraging between our frenzy,
We show reaction coming from soul and body . . .

4. Eternal Love

No any degenerate or some filthy.
In honeymoon we’re wife and hubby,
No any existing deceit slyness or flurry,
No any violent rudeness or selfish display.
It's the power for my will to voyage far away,
It's an ideal harbor for wishes to anchor or stay,
It's true and luxury support between us as a reality,
It's all that rational are proving the natures deductively,
Can we avoid dusts and acid rains of this world prettily,
Escape from jail where we’ll suffer thirsty or hungry,
Give up all poor souls while grow out wings freely,


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Very likes music and songs telling a love story.
Let us beat our hearts all in rhythm of joy,
Take our loves as creed of soul and body;
Let’s be eternal couple in life company
Dwelling under the olive trees merrily,
Thank Gods in Eden forever with pray . . .















───— Saccini Young


(On our honeymoon trip by sea, from London to Shanghai.)
　　────────────────────────

[[双庆]]

------- 其中错误，诚请指正！！！





　　 From Eden

— To Shirley


1. Spiritual Love




Never had you given the secret love away
But kept hiding your aspirations quietly,
Racking your brains you've being very
On a road to your dreamland steadily.
Or now you're alone and feel lonely,
Seeking your right one psychically . . .
Goddess tells us all of it definitely!



I do feel like being with you only ——
Wow, my love's following you firmly!
　Oh, it will not be broken in my destiny.
　 It'll find your fullness and fine honesty,
　 While help me with opening mine frankly;
　 It has rejected reserves or any bashful way,
　 Take my mind to go across the space freely,
　 To be delivered there on a line momentarily.
　 Let me reward your tacit permission luckily,
　 And, response to all your charms in fervency . . .




------------------------------------------------------------------------------



　　　　 2. Sensual Love

Tell loves to each other excitedly,
Shower on and on sweetly in melody
——We hide no our feeling awkwardly,
Even have deserted all coyness completely.
I am unable to keep hesitant at all in sexuality,
I love you——Yes dear, I love you any way exactly!
Depending upon all existing, and here within my body,
It's my rights Gods of love have given to me already,
Urges me to go — tenderly in your own peculiarity
Stretching deeply inside your soft lush territory.
You are, then, spreading and, full of energy,
Let me taste them in each possible way.




All your pretty lust of love for venery
Permit me to hug and kiss you greedily,
Obey me to twitch with all breath heavily.
After thrust into now slowly now hurriedly,
Along with pleasure arouse and go repeatedly,
　　Again and again, I bring you all endless ecstasy.
　　Every time you always experience that excitedly,
Gaining what you want as shrinking and in many;
Let you try maintaining each moment all cheerily,
Let us indulge all of these releases stirring happily . . .



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------


3. Romantic Love

Oh, you are in paradise my truth-liked lady!
Impulses are surging ours between so crazily.
You're, so enjoy yelling with delight sexually,
Aiding relaxation and catch-in accordingly . . .
Let's keep all our holy happiness stay freely.
In such a soft swell-land of grace and liberty,
No one dare to say we're now dissolutely sexy.
It is for the right smell of our clean and honesty,
Makes moral integrity erecting always in fervency,
Keeps all the beauties bulging with humidity,
Enables us to insert each other's boundlessly.
Time after time in our positions and variety,
Fondling or encouraging between our frenzy,
We show reaction coming from soul and body . . .

4. Eternal Love

No any degenerate or some filthy.
In honeymoon we’re wife and hubby,
No any existing deceit slyness or flurry,
No any violent rudeness or selfish display.
It's the power for my will to voyage far away,
It's an ideal harbor for wishes to anchor or stay,
It's true and luxury support between us as a reality,
It's all that rational are proving the natures deductively,
Can we avoid dusts and acid rains of this world prettily,
Escape from jail where we’ll suffer thirsty or hungry,
Give up all poor souls while grow out wings freely,


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Very likes music and songs telling a love story.
Let us beat our hearts all in rhythm of joy,
Take our loves as creed of soul and body;
Let’s be eternal couple in life company
Dwelling under the olive trees merrily,
Thank Gods in Eden forever with pray . . .















───— Saccini Young


(On our honeymoon trip by sea, from London to Shanghai.)
　　────────────────────────

[星子]

I read few formal poems.

Mostly I seem to have trouble to get connected or related...

I always think to write rhythm poem and also keep the thoughts freely expressed is very hard.

Sorry, I could not provide the suggestions or comments.

[[ANNA]]

I read few formal poems.

Mostly I seem to have trouble to get connected or related...

I always think to write rhythm poem and also keep the thoughts freely expressed is very hard.

Sorry, I could not provide the suggestions or comments.

[非马]

It must have taken the author lots of time and efforts to come up with all the "y-ending" words at the end of each line. But it could easily be viewed as a mere wordplay which I think a serious poet should always try to avoid.

[[FAFAFA]]

It must have taken the author lots of time and efforts to come up with all the "y-ending" words at the end of each line. But it could easily be viewed as a mere wordplay which I think a serious poet should always try to avoid.

[星子]

非马的评论极有道理。。。

这也是我不写韵律诗的原因。。。有时是文字游戏而已
_________________

[[ANNA]]

非马的评论极有道理。。。

这也是我不写韵律诗的原因。。。有时是文字游戏而已
_________________

[雪泥]

一个感觉，韵脚用得太生硬。刻意在模仿不是好事。
_________________
雪泥长篇《趟过祖母河》全本
雪泥小说选 新浪连载

[[雪泥]]

一个感觉，韵脚用得太生硬。刻意在模仿不是好事。
_________________
雪泥长篇《趟过祖母河》全本
雪泥小说选 新浪连载

[skyhorse]

Ideas of the poems are good

But the flow of ideas is hampered by artificial rhyming, like a flowing river cut by many dams.

Rhyming and imagery are means of creating poetry, not ends of poety.

Skyhorse

[[FFFFFF]]

Ideas of the poems are good

But the flow of ideas is hampered by artificial rhyming, like a flowing river cut by many dams.

Rhyming and imagery are means of creating poetry, not ends of poety.

Skyhorse

[朱新魁]

拜读

[[FAFAFA]]

拜读

[poet_sq]

Hi you above, you are quite right i think, and thank you for your kind words!

[[双庆]]

Hi you above, you are quite right i think, and thank you for your kind words!

[poet_sq]

---- 我坚决反对以文字游戏糟蹋诗歌，力求诗歌的“意”、“情”、“音”、“形”四者的完美统一！

原文是半生不熟的，是从我书中（二十世纪四十年代，第一代海外华人）主人公的笔下摘取的。

[[双庆]]

---- 我坚决反对以文字游戏糟蹋诗歌，力求诗歌的“意”、“情”、“音”、“形”四者的完美统一！

原文是半生不熟的，是从我书中（二十世纪四十年代，第一代海外华人）主人公的笔下摘取的。

[poet_sq]

--- 在原书中（《以圣洁爱情的名义》 里），上诗是四页由文字形成的四幅剪影图，即：临风的女郎、母性的魅力、爱情女神和圣洁的殿堂廊柱。

[[双庆]]

--- 在原书中（《以圣洁爱情的名义》 里），上诗是四页由文字形成的四幅剪影图，即：临风的女郎、母性的魅力、爱情女神和圣洁的殿堂廊柱。