酷我-北美枫

[anna]

[[星子安娜]]

[anna]

Revised.
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Revised.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[博弈]

merging scenarios and threads of thought
is a great attempt in so-called 意识流写作，like your approach
in this inner debate during a date where the word was then extrapolated to
beyond its common semantics, I see fate I see shadow in it as all
things that "follow", like dates in calendar.

i like the shadow being portrayed with the word "creep"
it is there and we don't feel it most of the time.

i think there are still some minor punctuation, wording
problems due to the grammatic difference in Chinese and English.

E.g.,

“Amazing”, I add,
“It is not the thirst that finds the water, Rumi said.”

Tonight its scent mixes with the perfume I wear.

“What am I searching?”
(without "for", the meaning can be very different, not sure what your intention here.)


just a quick response, have a good day!
_________________
Sometimes I am busy
Sometimes I am free
In between, there's it
Until I find thee...

[[Mark]]

merging scenarios and threads of thought
is a great attempt in so-called 意识流写作，like your approach
in this inner debate during a date where the word was then extrapolated to
beyond its common semantics, I see fate I see shadow in it as all
things that "follow", like dates in calendar.

i like the shadow being portrayed with the word "creep"
it is there and we don't feel it most of the time.

i think there are still some minor punctuation, wording
problems due to the grammatic difference in Chinese and English.

E.g.,

“Amazing”, I add,
“It is not the thirst that finds the water, Rumi said.”

Tonight its scent mixes with the perfume I wear.

“What am I searching?”
(without "for", the meaning can be very different, not sure what your intention here.)


just a quick response, have a good day!
_________________
Sometimes I am busy
Sometimes I am free
In between, there's it
Until I find thee...

[星子]

Hi Mark,

Thank you very much for sharing comments and suggestions.

Right, you read it well. I revised the punctuations which you pointed out.

Thanks.

I use searching not searching for... to imply unconscious action...and confusion...
_________________

[[ANNA]]

Hi Mark,

Thank you very much for sharing comments and suggestions.

Right, you read it well. I revised the punctuations which you pointed out.

Thanks.

I use searching not searching for... to imply unconscious action...and confusion...
_________________