酷我-北美枫

[非马]

美国女诗人WILDA MORRIS主持的每月《诗挑战》http://wildamorris.blogspot.com/，邀请各地诗人就月初贴出的引子写诗，在每月中旬以前寄给她，由她自己或特邀评审选出该月份的佳作，附上评语，在她的博客上展示。本（七）月份她选了我的<鸟*四季>(BIRDS*FOUR SEASONS)一诗作为引子，投稿者须用春夏秋冬四季各写一首12行以内并用一个共同主题写成的短诗，形式体裁不拘，在7月15日以前寄到[email protected]



附非马诗作《鸟*四季》（英文版见http://wildamorris.blogspot.com/）



春

你若想知道
这明媚的日子里
树林与树林间
最短的距离
任何有轻盈翅膀的小鸟
都会叽叽喳喳告诉你

不是直线



夏

正午
为一颗燃烧的流弹击中
一只小鸟
直直跌入
浓密的阴影

待它悠悠醒来
发现正站在
一棵枝叶繁茂的树上

能绿的都绿了


秋

什么时候起
眼前
竟是一片模糊

越飞越高的鸟
发现
池塘里自己的影子
越小越清晰


冬

游离空中的最后一丝水汽
终于也归附
檐下的冰柱

在这样的天气里
我怎忍苛责
小鸟的歌声
短促而闪烁

[[FAFAFA]]

美国女诗人WILDA MORRIS主持的每月《诗挑战》http://wildamorris.blogspot.com/，邀请各地诗人就月初贴出的引子写诗，在每月中旬以前寄给她，由她自己或特邀评审选出该月份的佳作，附上评语，在她的博客上展示。本（七）月份她选了我的<鸟*四季>(BIRDS*FOUR SEASONS)一诗作为引子，投稿者须用春夏秋冬四季各写一首12行以内并用一个共同主题写成的短诗，形式体裁不拘，在7月15日以前寄到[email protected]



附非马诗作《鸟*四季》（英文版见http://wildamorris.blogspot.com/）



春

你若想知道
这明媚的日子里
树林与树林间
最短的距离
任何有轻盈翅膀的小鸟
都会叽叽喳喳告诉你

不是直线



夏

正午
为一颗燃烧的流弹击中
一只小鸟
直直跌入
浓密的阴影

待它悠悠醒来
发现正站在
一棵枝叶繁茂的树上

能绿的都绿了


秋

什么时候起
眼前
竟是一片模糊

越飞越高的鸟
发现
池塘里自己的影子
越小越清晰


冬

游离空中的最后一丝水汽
终于也归附
檐下的冰柱

在这样的天气里
我怎忍苛责
小鸟的歌声
短促而闪烁

[anna]

Congrats.

Will write poems for this month contest.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Congrats.

Will write poems for this month contest.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[非马]

[[FAFAFA]]

[anna]

Thanks 非马.

Try to think of some topic to write about the four seasons...

Google the images and found many beautiful pictures.




http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://photo.poco.cn/images/20040703/315286220040703132800.jpg&imgrefurl=http://photo.poco.cn/lastphoto-htx-id-72453-p-0.xhtml&usg=__5OVOUoexC0cPWHfwr0m2h4Qy8-A=&h=384&w=600&sz=95&hl=en&start=11&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=soApBKsGpmGX4M:&tbnh=86&tbnw=135&prev=/images%3Fq%3D%25E6%2598%25A5%25E5%25A4%258F%25E7%25A7%258B%25E5%2586%25AC%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26tbs%3Disch:1
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Thanks 非马.

Try to think of some topic to write about the four seasons...

Google the images and found many beautiful pictures.




http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://photo.poco.cn/images/20040703/315286220040703132800.jpg&imgrefurl=http://photo.poco.cn/lastphoto-htx-id-72453-p-0.xhtml&usg=__5OVOUoexC0cPWHfwr0m2h4Qy8-A=&h=384&w=600&sz=95&hl=en&start=11&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=soApBKsGpmGX4M:&tbnh=86&tbnw=135&prev=/images%3Fq%3D%25E6%2598%25A5%25E5%25A4%258F%25E7%25A7%258B%25E5%2586%25AC%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26tbs%3Disch:1
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[anna]

Another idea could be from music....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSw7CcAXPWk
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Another idea could be from music....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSw7CcAXPWk
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[anna]

An artist paints her seasonal themes
Here I wrote one.


An artist paints her seasonal themes

Spring
A drop from your brush
turns green. A seed waits long to sprout.
It spells HOPE.

Summer
Red canoes
rush through white waves.
Clouds float above the heat,
forming shapes of your spirit.

Autumn
Frost gathers around grapes,
ready for another harvest.
Upon the lake, your face turns outward—
a full moon appears.

Winter

All night, white butterflies descend.
A shadow by the window holds silence.
Upon an open palm--
a pool of melted ice.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

An artist paints her seasonal themes
Here I wrote one.


An artist paints her seasonal themes

Spring
A drop from your brush
turns green. A seed waits long to sprout.
It spells HOPE.

Summer
Red canoes
rush through white waves.
Clouds float above the heat,
forming shapes of your spirit.

Autumn
Frost gathers around grapes,
ready for another harvest.
Upon the lake, your face turns outward—
a full moon appears.

Winter

All night, white butterflies descend.
A shadow by the window holds silence.
Upon an open palm--
a pool of melted ice.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[非马]

[[FAFAFA]]

[anna]

Hi 非马

Thank you very much.

I wrote that in the GYM when I was waiting for my son to play table tennis in Calgary.

Now we are going to Banff and Jasper. Yes. You are right. I should check the spelling and think it over.


I will change it when I have time.

Take care.

Anna
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Hi 非马

Thank you very much.

I wrote that in the GYM when I was waiting for my son to play table tennis in Calgary.

Now we are going to Banff and Jasper. Yes. You are right. I should check the spelling and think it over.


I will change it when I have time.

Take care.

Anna
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[anna]

Revised it...


Spring
A drop from your brush
turns green. A seed waits to sprout
out of canvas. Hope.

Summer
Red canoes rush through
white waves. Clouds float above the heat,
shapes of your spirit.

Autumn
Frost around grapes shines.
Your face shifts towards the lake—
a full moon appears.

Winter
White butterflies fall.
An open palm holds silence —
A pool of slush ice.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Revised it...


Spring
A drop from your brush
turns green. A seed waits to sprout
out of canvas. Hope.

Summer
Red canoes rush through
white waves. Clouds float above the heat,
shapes of your spirit.

Autumn
Frost around grapes shines.
Your face shifts towards the lake—
a full moon appears.

Winter
White butterflies fall.
An open palm holds silence —
A pool of slush ice.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[星子]

Dear Anna,

You have implied brush in the title, and it is such a harsh-sounding word amidst the softness of the first stanza. This is what my mind tricks me to do, I hope you do not mind:

Spring
A drop from your brush
A drop turns green
A seed waits to sprout
canvas of Spring

Summer
Red canoes rush through
white waves of clouds float above the heat,
shapes of your spirit.
Summer shapes float

Autumn is stolen by a face like a moon. I do like the frost and grapes. Above, just ideas--I am no expert in haikus.

Winter is a pleasing sigh to read, but I would rearrange and maybe use 'pond' instead of 'pool' and slush makes me think of mud as ice melts--do not really know why, but it is not gentle as butterflies or a palm holding silence. Just me, again.

As usual, you have beauty here and your message gently pushes into this reader's mind.

I enjoy your posts.
Poetema


rosered17 #4 [-]

Posts: 913
(07/25/10 12:47:47)
Reply Quote MoreMy Recent Posts Message Me Blocking Ignore User's Posts love these, L.S.

I agree with P.'s revision suggestions.

I wonder if

"Frost around grapes shines. "

could read

Frost around the grapes.

because the former is a little hard to pronounce and the latter is a bit more subtle.

just my thoughts here. it is wonderful as it stands.
_________________

[[ANNA]]

Dear Anna,

You have implied brush in the title, and it is such a harsh-sounding word amidst the softness of the first stanza. This is what my mind tricks me to do, I hope you do not mind:

Spring
A drop from your brush
A drop turns green
A seed waits to sprout
canvas of Spring

Summer
Red canoes rush through
white waves of clouds float above the heat,
shapes of your spirit.
Summer shapes float

Autumn is stolen by a face like a moon. I do like the frost and grapes. Above, just ideas--I am no expert in haikus.

Winter is a pleasing sigh to read, but I would rearrange and maybe use 'pond' instead of 'pool' and slush makes me think of mud as ice melts--do not really know why, but it is not gentle as butterflies or a palm holding silence. Just me, again.

As usual, you have beauty here and your message gently pushes into this reader's mind.

I enjoy your posts.
Poetema


rosered17 #4 [-]

Posts: 913
(07/25/10 12:47:47)
Reply Quote MoreMy Recent Posts Message Me Blocking Ignore User's Posts love these, L.S.

I agree with P.'s revision suggestions.

I wonder if

"Frost around grapes shines. "

could read

Frost around the grapes.

because the former is a little hard to pronounce and the latter is a bit more subtle.

just my thoughts here. it is wonderful as it stands.
_________________

[星子]

Dear Anna,

You have implied brush in the title, and it is such a harsh-sounding word amidst the softness of the first stanza. This is what my mind tricks me to do, I hope you do not mind:


A drop turns green
A seed waits to sprout
canvas of Spring


Red canoes rush through
white waves of clouds
Summer shapes float

Autumn is stolen by a face like a moon. I do like the frost and grapes. Above, just ideas--I am no expert in haikus.

Winter is a pleasing sigh to read, but I would rearrange and maybe use 'pond' instead of 'pool' and slush makes me think of mud as ice melts--do not really know why, but it is not gentle as butterflies or a palm holding silence. Just me, again.

As usual, you have beauty here and your message gently pushes into this reader's mind.

I enjoy your posts.
Poetema


-----

love these, L.S.

I agree with P.'s revision suggestions.

I wonder if

"Frost around grapes shines. "

could read

Frost around the grapes.

because the former is a little hard to pronounce and the latter is a bit more subtle.

just my thoughts here. it is wonderful as it stands.

Mar
_________________

[[ANNA]]

Dear Anna,

You have implied brush in the title, and it is such a harsh-sounding word amidst the softness of the first stanza. This is what my mind tricks me to do, I hope you do not mind:


A drop turns green
A seed waits to sprout
canvas of Spring


Red canoes rush through
white waves of clouds
Summer shapes float

Autumn is stolen by a face like a moon. I do like the frost and grapes. Above, just ideas--I am no expert in haikus.

Winter is a pleasing sigh to read, but I would rearrange and maybe use 'pond' instead of 'pool' and slush makes me think of mud as ice melts--do not really know why, but it is not gentle as butterflies or a palm holding silence. Just me, again.

As usual, you have beauty here and your message gently pushes into this reader's mind.

I enjoy your posts.
Poetema


-----

love these, L.S.

I agree with P.'s revision suggestions.

I wonder if

"Frost around grapes shines. "

could read

Frost around the grapes.

because the former is a little hard to pronounce and the latter is a bit more subtle.

just my thoughts here. it is wonderful as it stands.

Mar
_________________

[anna]

Revised...


A drop turns green
A seed waits to sprout
canvas of Spring

Red canoes rush through
white waves of clouds
Summer shapes float

Frost around the grapes
Autumn face stolen on the lake—
a full moon appears.

White butterflies fall
An open palm holds winter
melted steps.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Revised...


A drop turns green
A seed waits to sprout
canvas of Spring

Red canoes rush through
white waves of clouds
Summer shapes float

Frost around the grapes
Autumn face stolen on the lake—
a full moon appears.

White butterflies fall
An open palm holds winter
melted steps.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[anna]

The winners are:

http://wildamorris.blogspot.com/2010/07/july-challenge-winner.html

Mine were not considered for this contest since I submitted too late. But thank Wilda to take time to comment on mine.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

The winners are:

http://wildamorris.blogspot.com/2010/07/july-challenge-winner.html

Mine were not considered for this contest since I submitted too late. But thank Wilda to take time to comment on mine.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com