酷我-北美枫

[anna]

What day is it today?
I ask myself.

What day is it today?
I stand here, unable
to find words for my grief.
Since this morning, I’ve said this,
over and over.

I have asked Buddha,
God and Science to wave
a magic wand
and reverse Today’s calamities.
I have asked the Sky Goddess
to heal our Earth’s wounds
and allow Jade Tree city
to enter her peaceful dreams.

I have asked wild volcanic mountains
and rivers to be tamed, for Spring
to bring her greenness
to each trail, to allow damaged cities
to recover their resilience.

I have prayed for a reversal of Time,
to ensure all buildings are sound,
for children to return safely
to their homes and parents.

I have prayed that there be no sadness
Today, only happiness, for harmony
to echo everywhere, no cries
from the burial grounds.

I have prayed that all tragedies
transform into mere nightmares,
for the word Disaster to disappear
from our lives.

I have made these requests
solemnly, humbly.
Yet neither shouting nor silence –
could alter history.

So I command myself to live
an honorable life,
to live with responsibilities –
for we cannot allow
these tragedies to be repeated.
For we cannot
weep any more!
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

What day is it today?
I ask myself.

What day is it today?
I stand here, unable
to find words for my grief.
Since this morning, I’ve said this,
over and over.

I have asked Buddha,
God and Science to wave
a magic wand
and reverse Today’s calamities.
I have asked the Sky Goddess
to heal our Earth’s wounds
and allow Jade Tree city
to enter her peaceful dreams.

I have asked wild volcanic mountains
and rivers to be tamed, for Spring
to bring her greenness
to each trail, to allow damaged cities
to recover their resilience.

I have prayed for a reversal of Time,
to ensure all buildings are sound,
for children to return safely
to their homes and parents.

I have prayed that there be no sadness
Today, only happiness, for harmony
to echo everywhere, no cries
from the burial grounds.

I have prayed that all tragedies
transform into mere nightmares,
for the word Disaster to disappear
from our lives.

I have made these requests
solemnly, humbly.
Yet neither shouting nor silence –
could alter history.

So I command myself to live
an honorable life,
to live with responsibilities –
for we cannot allow
these tragedies to be repeated.
For we cannot
weep any more!
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[anna]

Hi Anna.

I imagine this piece strewn across the page - one thought to the left, another to the right, something in the middle - like clouds of prayer thoughts at odd places on the page (I have prayed for this... I have asked for that...).

I lose a little in my reading of the piece because the S's each seem to hold more than one thought - it gets a little jumbled in my head.

For example, I'd consider L3 as a stand alone line - focus the question (and other thoughts) a little more.

Frank.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Hi Anna.

I imagine this piece strewn across the page - one thought to the left, another to the right, something in the middle - like clouds of prayer thoughts at odd places on the page (I have prayed for this... I have asked for that...).

I lose a little in my reading of the piece because the S's each seem to hold more than one thought - it gets a little jumbled in my head.

For example, I'd consider L3 as a stand alone line - focus the question (and other thoughts) a little more.

Frank.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[anna]

I like the form of the poem: I have asked, I have asked, I have prayed, I have prayed. One suggestion is to let these stanzas speak for themselves. Don't overstate or interpret for the reader.

The ending leaves me scratching my head. The point (previously) seems to be "I have asked and prayed, but these things continue" -- these things being some natural disasters, some unstated "calamities." But these are largely things over which we have no control. No amount of praying is going to change them. So I'm not sure why the speaker says: "we cannot allow these tragedies." And of course, we will always weep over such things.

Also, perhaps, let the reader figure out that the Narrator is searching for a way to express grief rather than to say:

I stand here, unable
to find words for my grief.

An errant dash in this line (you don't need it and it disrupts the flow):

Yet neither shouting nor silence –
could alter history.

Yeah!! Keep working on this one. You have some good ideas.

Toni
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

I like the form of the poem: I have asked, I have asked, I have prayed, I have prayed. One suggestion is to let these stanzas speak for themselves. Don't overstate or interpret for the reader.

The ending leaves me scratching my head. The point (previously) seems to be "I have asked and prayed, but these things continue" -- these things being some natural disasters, some unstated "calamities." But these are largely things over which we have no control. No amount of praying is going to change them. So I'm not sure why the speaker says: "we cannot allow these tragedies." And of course, we will always weep over such things.

Also, perhaps, let the reader figure out that the Narrator is searching for a way to express grief rather than to say:

I stand here, unable
to find words for my grief.

An errant dash in this line (you don't need it and it disrupts the flow):

Yet neither shouting nor silence –
could alter history.

Yeah!! Keep working on this one. You have some good ideas.

Toni
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[anna]

After reading all the comments and suggestions, I revised it again.

What day is it today?
I ask myself.

What day is it today?
Standing here, I feel like a heavy rock
sinking into a dark cave.
With voice choked in my shallow throat,
I make my requests.

I ask Buddha,
God and Science to wave
a magic wand
and reverse Today’s calamities.
I ask the Sky Goddess
to heal our Earth’s wounds
and allow Jade Tree city
to enter her peaceful dreams.

I ask wild volcanic mountains
and rivers to be tamed, for Spring
to bring her greenness
to each trail, to allow damaged cities
to recover their resilience.

I pray for a reversal of Time,
to ensure all buildings are sound,
for children to return safely
to their homes and parents.

I pray that there be no sadness
Today, only happiness, for harmony
to echo everywhere, no cries
from the burial grounds.

I pray that all tragedies
transform into mere nightmares,
for the word Disaster to disappear
from our lives.

I make these requests
solemnly, humbly.
Yet neither shouting nor silence could alter history.

So I command myself to live
an honorable life, to live
responsibly, to stop exploiting
my only home; to make our earth
a better place to be!
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

After reading all the comments and suggestions, I revised it again.

What day is it today?
I ask myself.

What day is it today?
Standing here, I feel like a heavy rock
sinking into a dark cave.
With voice choked in my shallow throat,
I make my requests.

I ask Buddha,
God and Science to wave
a magic wand
and reverse Today’s calamities.
I ask the Sky Goddess
to heal our Earth’s wounds
and allow Jade Tree city
to enter her peaceful dreams.

I ask wild volcanic mountains
and rivers to be tamed, for Spring
to bring her greenness
to each trail, to allow damaged cities
to recover their resilience.

I pray for a reversal of Time,
to ensure all buildings are sound,
for children to return safely
to their homes and parents.

I pray that there be no sadness
Today, only happiness, for harmony
to echo everywhere, no cries
from the burial grounds.

I pray that all tragedies
transform into mere nightmares,
for the word Disaster to disappear
from our lives.

I make these requests
solemnly, humbly.
Yet neither shouting nor silence could alter history.

So I command myself to live
an honorable life, to live
responsibly, to stop exploiting
my only home; to make our earth
a better place to be!
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[anna]

revised again.

What day is it today?
I ask myself.
What day is it today?
Standing here, I feel like a heavy rock
sinking into a dark cave.
My voice chokes in my shallow throat,
I make my requests.

I ask Buddha,
God and Science to wave
a magic wand
and reverse Today’s calamities.
I ask the Sky Goddess
to heal our Earth’s wounds
and allow Jade Tree city
to enter her peaceful dreams.

I ask wild volcanic mountains
and rivers to be tamed, for Spring
to bring her greenness
to each trail, to allow damaged cities
to recover their resilience.
I pray for a reversal of Time,
to ensure all buildings are sound,
for children to return safely
to their homes and parents.

I pray that there be no sadness
Today, only happiness, for harmony
to echo everywhere, no cries
from the burial grounds.
I pray that all tragedies
transform into mere nightmares,
for the word Disaster to disappear
from our lives.

I make these requests
solemnly, humbly.

Yet neither shouting
nor silence could alter history.

So I command myself to live
an honorable life, to live
responsibly, to stop exploiting
our only home; to make our earth
a better place to be!
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

revised again.

What day is it today?
I ask myself.
What day is it today?
Standing here, I feel like a heavy rock
sinking into a dark cave.
My voice chokes in my shallow throat,
I make my requests.

I ask Buddha,
God and Science to wave
a magic wand
and reverse Today’s calamities.
I ask the Sky Goddess
to heal our Earth’s wounds
and allow Jade Tree city
to enter her peaceful dreams.

I ask wild volcanic mountains
and rivers to be tamed, for Spring
to bring her greenness
to each trail, to allow damaged cities
to recover their resilience.
I pray for a reversal of Time,
to ensure all buildings are sound,
for children to return safely
to their homes and parents.

I pray that there be no sadness
Today, only happiness, for harmony
to echo everywhere, no cries
from the burial grounds.
I pray that all tragedies
transform into mere nightmares,
for the word Disaster to disappear
from our lives.

I make these requests
solemnly, humbly.

Yet neither shouting
nor silence could alter history.

So I command myself to live
an honorable life, to live
responsibly, to stop exploiting
our only home; to make our earth
a better place to be!
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com