酷我-北美枫

[anna]

Write me letters.
like in old movies:
red wine,
drifting rain,
sleepless nights,
a strayed cat wanders
dim streets where
mystery suspends
and me in your dream.

Write me crazy words.
Like a raven on thrills,
fire under the river and fish in the sky,
moon with a red face,
and our next journey towards Mars.

Write me more and more

to add salt in meat,
to echo the bounces between walls,
to cover footprint in the snow,
to play songs through night
and to form a smile over your mouth.

Write me, more or less
till words yeast
over your tongue
taste like--

I love you
and I do.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Write me letters.
like in old movies:
red wine,
drifting rain,
sleepless nights,
a strayed cat wanders
dim streets where
mystery suspends
and me in your dream.

Write me crazy words.
Like a raven on thrills,
fire under the river and fish in the sky,
moon with a red face,
and our next journey towards Mars.

Write me more and more

to add salt in meat,
to echo the bounces between walls,
to cover footprint in the snow,
to play songs through night
and to form a smile over your mouth.

Write me, more or less
till words yeast
over your tongue
taste like--

I love you
and I do.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[anna]

deleted...
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

deleted...
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[星子]

revised it again

Write me letters.
Salt me with crazy words.

Write me, like fire under a river,
like a red moon and fish crossing the sky,
like listening to a raven stop in mid-air
and call for our journey to Mars.

Write me letters.
Like they did in old movies.

Red wine blurs the words on the page.
Look down the alley at the cat leaping for cover
when it starts to rain
Look at how we blur into each other
when we start to kiss.

Write me letters.
Sift words of sweetie.
Let them yeast
over your tongue
taste like—

flaming stars,
drifting rain
and
nights without sleep.
_________________

[[ANNA]]

revised it again

Write me letters.
Salt me with crazy words.

Write me, like fire under a river,
like a red moon and fish crossing the sky,
like listening to a raven stop in mid-air
and call for our journey to Mars.

Write me letters.
Like they did in old movies.

Red wine blurs the words on the page.
Look down the alley at the cat leaping for cover
when it starts to rain
Look at how we blur into each other
when we start to kiss.

Write me letters.
Sift words of sweetie.
Let them yeast
over your tongue
taste like—

flaming stars,
drifting rain
and
nights without sleep.
_________________

[anna]

Write me letters.
Salt me with crazy words.
Let them yeast
over your tongue
taste like—
flaming stars,
like fire under a river,
a red moon and fish leaping
across the sky, and a call
for our journey to Mars.

Write me--
Like they did in the old movies,
red wine smearing words
on a page, like a cat leaping
for cover when it starts to rain--
the way we blur into one another
when we kiss.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Write me letters.
Salt me with crazy words.
Let them yeast
over your tongue
taste like—
flaming stars,
like fire under a river,
a red moon and fish leaping
across the sky, and a call
for our journey to Mars.

Write me--
Like they did in the old movies,
red wine smearing words
on a page, like a cat leaping
for cover when it starts to rain--
the way we blur into one another
when we kiss.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[anna]

Comments from Bernie.


A---

yes to the new revision.

still not crazy for the cat down the alley---unlike all other images in the poem except for the fanciful raven.---but i like the color and excitement of S 2.

I would use the word rain only once in the poem.


Look at how we blur into each other
when we start to kiss.

look how we blur into each other
as we start to kiss.

"start" might be optional, but i would use it.

the words yeast and sweetie challenge the reader's acceptance. a roll of the dice, i believe the poem wins.

in any frankly lyric poem, about nature, children animals or...yes, luv....love....the worry is that the poem begins to bellow, to rant, to flood the reader with sentimentality---this poem stops well short of that precipice.

did i want to see more choices before the final lines are put into concrete? yes.


flaming stars,
drifting rain
and
nights without sleep.


1. Falling stars
in my hair, your arms
tangled in my limbs.


for example.

Let them yeast
over your tongue
taste like—


2. beaded rain falling
on our first August


would experiment there.


the use of rough and unpredictable images and details is what makes this poem work, and i am happy to convey a diploma...LOL.

i add a poem where the narrator also asks that his errant love write to him...



from Stationery....

Agha Shahid Ali



The moon did not become the sun.
It just fell on the desert
In great sheets, reams
Of silver handmade by you.
The night is your cottage industry now,
The day is your brisk emporium.
The world is full of paper.
Write to me.


And again, here:



The Jogger on Riverside Drive, 5:00 A.M.

By: Agha Shahid Ali

The dark scissors of his legs
cut the moon's

raw silk, highways of wind
torn into lanes, his feet

pushing down the shadow
whose patterns he becomes

while trucks, one by one,
pass him by,

headlights pouring
from his pace, his eyes

cracked as the Hudson
wraps street lamps

in its rippled blue shells,
the summer's thin, thin veins

bursting with dawn
he, now suddenly free,

from the air, from himself,
his heart beating far, far

behind him.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Comments from Bernie.


A---

yes to the new revision.

still not crazy for the cat down the alley---unlike all other images in the poem except for the fanciful raven.---but i like the color and excitement of S 2.

I would use the word rain only once in the poem.


Look at how we blur into each other
when we start to kiss.

look how we blur into each other
as we start to kiss.

"start" might be optional, but i would use it.

the words yeast and sweetie challenge the reader's acceptance. a roll of the dice, i believe the poem wins.

in any frankly lyric poem, about nature, children animals or...yes, luv....love....the worry is that the poem begins to bellow, to rant, to flood the reader with sentimentality---this poem stops well short of that precipice.

did i want to see more choices before the final lines are put into concrete? yes.


flaming stars,
drifting rain
and
nights without sleep.


1. Falling stars
in my hair, your arms
tangled in my limbs.


for example.

Let them yeast
over your tongue
taste like—


2. beaded rain falling
on our first August


would experiment there.


the use of rough and unpredictable images and details is what makes this poem work, and i am happy to convey a diploma...LOL.

i add a poem where the narrator also asks that his errant love write to him...



from Stationery....

Agha Shahid Ali



The moon did not become the sun.
It just fell on the desert
In great sheets, reams
Of silver handmade by you.
The night is your cottage industry now,
The day is your brisk emporium.
The world is full of paper.
Write to me.


And again, here:



The Jogger on Riverside Drive, 5:00 A.M.

By: Agha Shahid Ali

The dark scissors of his legs
cut the moon's

raw silk, highways of wind
torn into lanes, his feet

pushing down the shadow
whose patterns he becomes

while trucks, one by one,
pass him by,

headlights pouring
from his pace, his eyes

cracked as the Hudson
wraps street lamps

in its rippled blue shells,
the summer's thin, thin veins

bursting with dawn
he, now suddenly free,

from the air, from himself,
his heart beating far, far

behind him.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com