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fanfan[FAFAFA] fanfan作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2007-12-27 帖子: 353 来自: Canada
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发表于: 星期四 三月 19, 2009 10:23 pm 发表主题: Winning Tanka of the TSA 2008 International Tanka Contest |
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Tanka of the Week (via The Tanka Society of America)
Winning Tanka of the TSA 2008 International Tanka Contest
First Prize:
old memories
like tangled fish hooks
impossible
to pick up only one
without all the others
an’ya
Lapine, Oregon
Second Prize:
here on a knoll
in the fields of spring
I’ll lay it down . . .
and for a while be rid
of a mind that never rests
Kirsty Karkow
Waldoboro, Maine
Third Prize:
late night storm . . .
I lock the door and hope
the children are safe
in the unruly boroughs
of their dreams
Collin Barber
Marion, Arizona
What do you think of these poems?
Any thoughts, comments or disagreements would be much appreciated! _________________ Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon. |
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christine[christine] christine作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2008-02-25 帖子: 304
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发表于: 星期五 三月 20, 2009 6:28 pm 发表主题: Re: Winning Tanka of the TSA 2008 International Tanka Contes |
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fanfan 写到: |
First Prize:
old memories
like tangled fish hooks
impossible
to pick up only one
without all the others
an’ya
Lapine, Oregon
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I immensely love this compelling yet painful simile.
The imagery of the poem is impressive. |
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fanfan[FAFAFA] fanfan作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2007-12-27 帖子: 353 来自: Canada
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发表于: 星期六 三月 21, 2009 7:43 am 发表主题: Re: Winning Tanka of the TSA 2008 International Tanka Contes |
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christine 写到: |
I immensely love this compelling yet painful simile.
The imagery of the poem is impressive. |
Yes.
Judges' comments:
"Aphoristic, to be sure, but appropriately so and a wonderfully apt choice of image and metaphor, an’ya’s poem caught and kept our attention. The poem’s imaginative leap from “old memories” to “tangled fish hooks” carries remarkable force; it may not be a pretty image but it is, without doubt, a psychologically valid one, conveying both the character of fish hooks and the mixture of pleasure and pain that is human memory. There is nothing fancy here; the tone is matter-of-fact. It is a classic poem of the singular, durable image. " _________________ Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon. |
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温暖的水獸[温暖的水獸] 温暖的水獸作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2008-04-23 帖子: 153 来自: 水族箱
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发表于: 星期一 三月 23, 2009 12:30 pm 发表主题: Re: Winning Tanka of the TSA 2008 International Tanka Contes |
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fanfan 写到: |
christine 写到: |
I immensely love this compelling yet painful simile.
The imagery of the poem is impressive. |
Yes.
Judges' comments:
"The poem’s imaginative leap from “old memories” to “tangled fish hooks” carries remarkable force; it may not be a pretty image but it is, without doubt, a psychologically valid one, conveying both the character of fish hooks and the mixture of pleasure and pain that is human memory. " |
It reminds me of Atwood's famous four-liner:
You fit into me
like a hook into an eye
A fish hook
An open eye _________________ 舌頭那匹温暖的水獸 馴養地在小小的水族箱中 蠕動
那獸說:是的 我願意 |
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fanfan[FAFAFA] fanfan作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2007-12-27 帖子: 353 来自: Canada
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发表于: 星期三 三月 25, 2009 8:44 am 发表主题: Re: Winning Tanka of the TSA 2008 International Tanka Contes |
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温暖的水獸 写到: |
You fit into me
like a hook into an eye
A fish hook
An open eye |
Thanks for posting her sharply poignant poem like this.
Yes, the image of a fish hook "may not be a pretty one but it is, without doubt, a psychologically valid one." _________________ Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon. |
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dundas[dundas] dundas作品集 五品知州 (再努力一把就是四品大员了!)
注册时间: 2008-02-23 帖子: 214
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发表于: 星期一 三月 30, 2009 12:32 pm 发表主题: Re: Winning Tanka of the TSA 2008 International Tanka Contes |
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fanfan 写到: |
Second Prize:
here on a knoll
in the fields of springI’ll lay it down . . .
and for a while be rid
of a mind that never rests
|
I am impressed by this knoll metaphor and its imagery. Thanks for posting. _________________ My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well |
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fanfan[FAFAFA] fanfan作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2007-12-27 帖子: 353 来自: Canada
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发表于: 星期五 四月 03, 2009 8:27 am 发表主题: Re: Winning Tanka of the TSA 2008 International Tanka Contes |
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dundas 写到: |
I am impressed by this knoll metaphor and its imagery. Thanks for posting. |
Actually or figuratively speaking, I believe most of us have all been to this “knoll” Kirsty Karkow writes about.
Judges' comments:
" ... from nature we all have sought that same promise of brief respite from the Monkey Mind that seems never to cease its chattering. The sensitivity and modesty of this poem justify the sympathy we may bring to it. The poem turns a rather common spring scene into something lyrically meaningful, an adult’s sensibility of the moment, of the peace offered by that little knoll .. . " _________________ Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon. |
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fanfan[FFFFFF] fanfan作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2007-12-27 帖子: 353 来自: Canada
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发表于: 星期日 四月 12, 2009 7:50 pm 发表主题: Re: Winning Tanka of the TSA 2008 International Tanka Contes |
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fanfan 写到: |
Third Prize:
late night storm . . .
I lock the door and hope
the children are safe
in the unruly boroughs
of their dreams
Collin Barber
Marion, Arizona
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Comments from judges:
"All the lines in Collin Barber’s poem lean into, as well as support, the magnificent phrasing and meaning of those mysterious but instantly recognized “unruly boroughs” of the fourth line. Admittedly, there is some mystery here: that “late night storm”—was it the weather or something else? And what, exactly, are “unruly boroughs”? As judges, we still cannot answer those questions adequately. Though hardly a riddle, the poem has the elements of one: and that was the clincher for us, for its subject, finally, is human love. " _________________ Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon. |
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