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Colin Campbell[克林] Colin Campbell作品集 九品县令 (一不小心,做了官儿了。)
注册时间: 2004-08-07 帖子: 35 来自: 中国云南昆明市
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发表于: 星期二 二月 15, 2005 10:18 am 发表主题: Dianchi Lake |
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Dianchi Lake
Nature’s treasure, Dianchi Lake.
Living water, nature’s lifeblood.
Timeless winds blow over water.
Dianchi is a water world.
Living water, nature’s lifeblood.
Setting sun on the inland sea.
Dianchi is a water world.
Windsong and the setting sun.
Setting sun on the inland sea.
Timeless winds blow over water.
Windsong and the setting sun.
Nature’s treasure, Dianchi Lake.
最后进行编辑的是 Colin Campbell on 星期二 二月 15, 2005 11:15 pm, 总计第 1 次编辑 |
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LavenderSwing[我还没有昵称] LavenderSwing作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2004-05-29 帖子: 321 来自: China
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发表于: 星期二 二月 15, 2005 12:40 pm 发表主题: |
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Setting sun on inland sea?
or Setting sun on the inland sea?
Hi Colin, great to hear from you again...
Anna |
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Colin Campbell[克林] Colin Campbell作品集 九品县令 (一不小心,做了官儿了。)
注册时间: 2004-08-07 帖子: 35 来自: 中国云南昆明市
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发表于: 星期二 二月 15, 2005 11:21 pm 发表主题: |
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LavenderSwing 写到: | Setting sun on inland sea?
or Setting sun on the inland sea?
Hi Colin, great to hear from you again...
Anna |
Hi Anna,
I like you choice of words better and I've revised the pantoum. I've been busy developing a new personal website so I've not been writing much new or posting for a while. I'll sent you an invition to view when it's ready.
with kind regards
Colin |
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Colin Campbell[克林] Colin Campbell作品集 九品县令 (一不小心,做了官儿了。)
注册时间: 2004-08-07 帖子: 35 来自: 中国云南昆明市
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发表于: 星期三 二月 16, 2005 9:25 pm 发表主题: |
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I've tried a translation:
滇池
造化的宝贝滇池
活着水造化的血
恒久风吹上水池
滇池在水的世界
活着水造化的血
内陆在海中日落
滇池在水的世界
风的长歌和日落
内陆在海中日落
恒久风吹上水池
风的长歌和日落
造化的宝贝滇池
I should welcome any feedback.
with kind regards
Colin |
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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期四 二月 17, 2005 10:54 pm 发表主题: |
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--Hi Colin, I have revised some as the following, since I would like to add a little chinese smack in. (hope you don't mind)
滇池
天赋珍品是滇池
自然的活力水源
恒久风吹荡水池
滇池在银波世界
自然的活力水源
日落沉没内陆海
滇池在银波世界
风飘长歌伴日落
日落沉没内陆海
恒久风吹荡水池
风飘长歌伴日落
天赋珍品是滇池
Natural treasure is Dianchi Lake.
Nature’s lifeblood is inside.
Timeless winds blow over water.
Dianchi is a silvery world.
Nature’s lifeblood is inside.
Setting sun on the inland sea.
Dianchi is a silvery world.
Wind brings song with the setting sun.
Setting sun on the inland sea.
Timeless winds blow over water.
Wind brings song with the setting sun.
Natural treasure is Dianchi Lake. |
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Colin Campbell[克林] Colin Campbell作品集 九品县令 (一不小心,做了官儿了。)
注册时间: 2004-08-07 帖子: 35 来自: 中国云南昆明市
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发表于: 星期五 二月 18, 2005 8:03 pm 发表主题: |
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星子 写到: | --Hi Colin, I have revised some as the following, since I would like to add a little chinese smack in. (hope you don't mind)
滇池
天赋珍品是滇池
自然的活力水源
恒久风吹荡水池
滇池在银波世界
自然的活力水源
日落沉没内陆海
滇池在银波世界
风飘长歌伴日落
日落沉没内陆海
恒久风吹荡水池
风飘长歌伴日落
天赋珍品是滇池
Natural treasure is Dianchi Lake.
Nature’s lifeblood is inside.
Timeless winds blow over water.
Dianchi is a silvery world.
Nature’s lifeblood is inside.
Setting sun on the inland sea.
Dianchi is a silvery world.
Wind brings song with the setting sun.
Setting sun on the inland sea.
Timeless winds blow over water.
Wind brings song with the setting sun.
Natural treasure is Dianchi Lake. |
Hi Anna,
Thank you so much for your help. I'm delighted to have a real Chinese version.
with kind regards
Colin |
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秋叶[我还没有昵称] 秋叶作品集 二品总督 (刚入二品,小心做人)
注册时间: 2004-05-20 帖子: 1633
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发表于: 星期六 二月 19, 2005 2:24 am 发表主题: |
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Colin Campbell 写到: | I've tried a translation:
滇池
造化的宝贝滇池
活着水造化的血
恒久风吹上水池
滇池在水的世界
活着水造化的血
内陆在海中日落
滇池在水的世界
风的长歌和日落
内陆在海中日落
恒久风吹上水池
风的长歌和日落
造化的宝贝滇池
I should welcome any feedback.
with kind regards
Colin |
Hi, Colin,
I am glad to read your translation. You did a great job. It is very hard to translate from English to Chinese classic style poem even for people whose mother tongue is Chinese.
I did some change of words and sentence construction only in the first part of your translation as following. It is for your reference only.
滇池,自然的宝藏
活水,天然的血液
风不断地掠过水面
滇池是个水的世界
Nature’s treasure, Dianchi Lake.
Living water, nature’s lifeblood.
Timeless winds blow over water.
Dianchi is a water world.
All the best,
Qiu Ye |
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Colin Campbell[克林] Colin Campbell作品集 九品县令 (一不小心,做了官儿了。)
注册时间: 2004-08-07 帖子: 35 来自: 中国云南昆明市
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发表于: 星期日 二月 20, 2005 5:42 am 发表主题: |
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Hi Qiu Ye,
Thank you for your kind words and thank you for helping with my poem.
Much appreciated!
Colin |
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