酷我-北美枫

[timmid]

(以下是我校学生模仿史记为宿舍楼下零食店女店主所写的传记及翻译,我读后大笑,太有才了!)

史记·鸡蛋妹大传
Grand history record-------The biography of Miss Eggie


鸡蛋妹者，平鹏改元开放七年生，姓名籍贯已不可考矣，疑为巴郡人士。泽基代表二年春，随父至巴蜀夷语太学男舍地字号下房大堂设杂货铺谋生，至今已七年余。蛋素貌庸，姓名深藏，盖其面润如鸡子，会巴蜀风靡茶卤鸡子为朝食，好事者便借以呼之。蛋亦不忤，遂名矣。
Miss Eggie, given birth in the seventh year of Pingpeng Revolution, is unknown of her name and birth place,just assumed the native of Ba county. In the spring of the second year of Zeji Representative，she went to SISU with her father and made a live by starting grocery business in the hall of Men’s inferior residence, accounted more than 7 years now. Eggie has a plain appearance and hardly-known name. For her cheek seems like a chicken’s egg and at that time stewed egg is popular as food of breakfast in Bashu area, some nosy men called her this name of Miss Eggie. She was not annoyed and thus it became well-know.


太学士子纷芜，籍贯遍及巴蜀、荆楚、江淮、中原、燕赵等地，良莠不齐。初至伊始，经营惨淡，举步维艰。其父母遂陷诸学子口角，偶有纷争打斗者，蛋唯喏喏而已。后，众意稍怠，蛋遂仗父母舍监声势而慨然对抗也。
The college students are from various of areas such as Bashu, Jingchu, Jianghuai, Mid-China, Yanzhao.etc. In the first period Eggie came, it was hard for her to hold such a bleak business. Her parents then were trapped in the endless quarrels with student buyers. Sometimes they scolded and faught, Eggie didn’t dare to join. Later, the students didn’t stick to the traffle, Eggie thus struggled against them under the support of her parents and the dormitory supervisor.


年有余，蛋渐长成，然则其父母舐犊情深，故常伴左右为侍。俗云曰：从军满三年，母豕亦貂蝉。男舍地字号阴阳失调，人伦不合，渐有妄为之徒借购物之名行挑撩之实。蛋不拒亦不受，大售山寨烟草与劣质点心者。终有晓事者党同于更漏之时寻闹，呼曰：强辱鸡子妹！一呼百应，遂成地字号每断电之夜奇观矣。时年蛋已双九年华也。
One year or more later, Eggie grew up, but her parent loved her too much therefore she stayed around to accompany them. It is said that if you have been in the barrack for 3 years, you may look a sow as Marilyn Monroe. The men’s inferior residence is in serious shortage of girls’ visits, obeying against the nature, gradually some playboys started alluring Eggie under the name of shopping. Eggie neither rejected or accepted, but just selling out a great number of fake tobacco and low quality dimsum. Finally the wise people came together to shout out in the dark night, saying “Rape Eggie”. The slogan got response anywhere and thus became a wonder in each night when the electric power is cut off. In this year Eggie was at the age of double nine.


或曰：初闻此时，声传百里，颇为震怖。蛋父自床中挣坐起，持木杵怒曰：何人敢尔！蛋与母亦稍恐，噤声不语，但垂泪耳。后知学子所呼者，并无实害，乃从容对之。余尝经行大堂，见舍监某某于蛋母嬉笑。监笑曰：汝弗闻昨夜震呼否？惊否？母曰：渠自呼之，老娘自闻之，乳臭小儿吾不其待也！监涎笑曰：汝观吾可否？余心颇惊，愤而走。其后或有闻蛋父斗舍监者，众人传甚，不知其可信否。
Someone once said, when the Eggie’s firstly heard the slogan, it sounded to very distant place with a fierce shock. Eggie’s father struggled to get up, shouting with a wood stick in her hand, “Who fucking dares!” But Eggie and her mother were a little frightened and kept silent, only somehow wept. Later knowing it was only complaint, they transferred to treat it as nothing. I ever went across the hall, glancing the dormitory supervisor ABC teasing with Eggie’s mother. ABC smiled and said, did you hear the shouting last night? Were you frightened? Eggie’s mother answered, they freely shouted and me freely listened, but the kids won’t meet my desire. ABC provoked with smile, how do you think of me then? I was shocked to run away. After that I heard of the fighting between Eggie’s father and the supervisor. It was the issue in those days, but I doubted its reality.



涛宝和谐三年冬，蛋亦见诸塘报。时有太学生以宝钞购其牛乳若干，蛋母兑之以伪钞。生忿而诉诸地方塘报所。须臾，记者携西洋摄影仪往访之。母觍颜曰：吾店向有榜文曰“于本店购物使伪钞者，悉毁之”。记者询曰：即有此文，亦只证彼不用宝钞也，何解？母不答。蛋遂匿于母后，冷视之。记者寒，遂走，次日即见诸塘报副刊，曰：某太学驻舍小卖部公然兑补伪钞云云，旁缀一图，小如茶盏。终因事小，不入太学官僚眼矣。
In the winter of the third year of Taobao harmony, Eggie went onto the official paper. When a student bought some milk from her booth, her mother charged him some fake bills. The student got angry and raised complaints to local news. Some hours later a journalist went to interview with a western camera. Eggie’s mother got embarrassed, saying “usually we have tip to say TOTALLY RUINED IF SHOPPING WITH FAKE BILL”. The journalist inquired, how do you explain the tip to you yourself? The mother didn’t answer and Eggie hid behind, coldly looking at him. The journalist felt frozen and went away. Next day a report was found on the supplement of local paper, saying “Some buffet in some college publically charged the buyers with fake bill”, a cup-sized tiny picture nearby. It remained unsolved finally because of the tiny size.


是年，坊间传曰蛋亦习读素柩，见录于渝州府某卫生学堂。往来地字号众太学生，平日亦难见其芳踪，唯周六日而已。此言亦难辨真假也。蛋事扬于巴蜀夷语太学贴吧，为新人迷。亦有好事者往而拜，未果。
Just in that year, Eggie was said to learn medical and matriculated by some hygiene school in Yu county. Students passing by in the inferior residence also couldn’t see her except for the Saturdays and Sundays. This saying couldn’t be assured, neither. Eggie’s affairs were spread to the post bar, usually attracting the curiosity of newers. Some of them tried to visit her, fruitless.


太史公曰：蛋以豆蔻年华，习居于狼群之地，周旋于群雄之畔，免堕陷而逞雌威，获多金而交人情，是智也！然求私利而乱公德，贪小币而罔大爱，是不仁也。智而不仁，难终其身。新人诫矣！
Grand historian says, Eggie in her gender age, came to live in the wolves, held near the males, avoided the traps but showed her charms, acquired money and relativity. It is clever of her. However, she disordered the public virtue just for private interest, and lost general love just for little money. It is also kindless of her. It is hard for her to adhere to the way if with cleverness but also kindlessness. The newers should take it as a lesson.
_________________
无话可说

[[timmmid]]

(以下是我校学生模仿史记为宿舍楼下零食店女店主所写的传记及翻译,我读后大笑,太有才了!)

史记·鸡蛋妹大传
Grand history record-------The biography of Miss Eggie


鸡蛋妹者，平鹏改元开放七年生，姓名籍贯已不可考矣，疑为巴郡人士。泽基代表二年春，随父至巴蜀夷语太学男舍地字号下房大堂设杂货铺谋生，至今已七年余。蛋素貌庸，姓名深藏，盖其面润如鸡子，会巴蜀风靡茶卤鸡子为朝食，好事者便借以呼之。蛋亦不忤，遂名矣。
Miss Eggie, given birth in the seventh year of Pingpeng Revolution, is unknown of her name and birth place,just assumed the native of Ba county. In the spring of the second year of Zeji Representative，she went to SISU with her father and made a live by starting grocery business in the hall of Men’s inferior residence, accounted more than 7 years now. Eggie has a plain appearance and hardly-known name. For her cheek seems like a chicken’s egg and at that time stewed egg is popular as food of breakfast in Bashu area, some nosy men called her this name of Miss Eggie. She was not annoyed and thus it became well-know.


太学士子纷芜，籍贯遍及巴蜀、荆楚、江淮、中原、燕赵等地，良莠不齐。初至伊始，经营惨淡，举步维艰。其父母遂陷诸学子口角，偶有纷争打斗者，蛋唯喏喏而已。后，众意稍怠，蛋遂仗父母舍监声势而慨然对抗也。
The college students are from various of areas such as Bashu, Jingchu, Jianghuai, Mid-China, Yanzhao.etc. In the first period Eggie came, it was hard for her to hold such a bleak business. Her parents then were trapped in the endless quarrels with student buyers. Sometimes they scolded and faught, Eggie didn’t dare to join. Later, the students didn’t stick to the traffle, Eggie thus struggled against them under the support of her parents and the dormitory supervisor.


年有余，蛋渐长成，然则其父母舐犊情深，故常伴左右为侍。俗云曰：从军满三年，母豕亦貂蝉。男舍地字号阴阳失调，人伦不合，渐有妄为之徒借购物之名行挑撩之实。蛋不拒亦不受，大售山寨烟草与劣质点心者。终有晓事者党同于更漏之时寻闹，呼曰：强辱鸡子妹！一呼百应，遂成地字号每断电之夜奇观矣。时年蛋已双九年华也。
One year or more later, Eggie grew up, but her parent loved her too much therefore she stayed around to accompany them. It is said that if you have been in the barrack for 3 years, you may look a sow as Marilyn Monroe. The men’s inferior residence is in serious shortage of girls’ visits, obeying against the nature, gradually some playboys started alluring Eggie under the name of shopping. Eggie neither rejected or accepted, but just selling out a great number of fake tobacco and low quality dimsum. Finally the wise people came together to shout out in the dark night, saying “Rape Eggie”. The slogan got response anywhere and thus became a wonder in each night when the electric power is cut off. In this year Eggie was at the age of double nine.


或曰：初闻此时，声传百里，颇为震怖。蛋父自床中挣坐起，持木杵怒曰：何人敢尔！蛋与母亦稍恐，噤声不语，但垂泪耳。后知学子所呼者，并无实害，乃从容对之。余尝经行大堂，见舍监某某于蛋母嬉笑。监笑曰：汝弗闻昨夜震呼否？惊否？母曰：渠自呼之，老娘自闻之，乳臭小儿吾不其待也！监涎笑曰：汝观吾可否？余心颇惊，愤而走。其后或有闻蛋父斗舍监者，众人传甚，不知其可信否。
Someone once said, when the Eggie’s firstly heard the slogan, it sounded to very distant place with a fierce shock. Eggie’s father struggled to get up, shouting with a wood stick in her hand, “Who fucking dares!” But Eggie and her mother were a little frightened and kept silent, only somehow wept. Later knowing it was only complaint, they transferred to treat it as nothing. I ever went across the hall, glancing the dormitory supervisor ABC teasing with Eggie’s mother. ABC smiled and said, did you hear the shouting last night? Were you frightened? Eggie’s mother answered, they freely shouted and me freely listened, but the kids won’t meet my desire. ABC provoked with smile, how do you think of me then? I was shocked to run away. After that I heard of the fighting between Eggie’s father and the supervisor. It was the issue in those days, but I doubted its reality.



涛宝和谐三年冬，蛋亦见诸塘报。时有太学生以宝钞购其牛乳若干，蛋母兑之以伪钞。生忿而诉诸地方塘报所。须臾，记者携西洋摄影仪往访之。母觍颜曰：吾店向有榜文曰“于本店购物使伪钞者，悉毁之”。记者询曰：即有此文，亦只证彼不用宝钞也，何解？母不答。蛋遂匿于母后，冷视之。记者寒，遂走，次日即见诸塘报副刊，曰：某太学驻舍小卖部公然兑补伪钞云云，旁缀一图，小如茶盏。终因事小，不入太学官僚眼矣。
In the winter of the third year of Taobao harmony, Eggie went onto the official paper. When a student bought some milk from her booth, her mother charged him some fake bills. The student got angry and raised complaints to local news. Some hours later a journalist went to interview with a western camera. Eggie’s mother got embarrassed, saying “usually we have tip to say TOTALLY RUINED IF SHOPPING WITH FAKE BILL”. The journalist inquired, how do you explain the tip to you yourself? The mother didn’t answer and Eggie hid behind, coldly looking at him. The journalist felt frozen and went away. Next day a report was found on the supplement of local paper, saying “Some buffet in some college publically charged the buyers with fake bill”, a cup-sized tiny picture nearby. It remained unsolved finally because of the tiny size.


是年，坊间传曰蛋亦习读素柩，见录于渝州府某卫生学堂。往来地字号众太学生，平日亦难见其芳踪，唯周六日而已。此言亦难辨真假也。蛋事扬于巴蜀夷语太学贴吧，为新人迷。亦有好事者往而拜，未果。
Just in that year, Eggie was said to learn medical and matriculated by some hygiene school in Yu county. Students passing by in the inferior residence also couldn’t see her except for the Saturdays and Sundays. This saying couldn’t be assured, neither. Eggie’s affairs were spread to the post bar, usually attracting the curiosity of newers. Some of them tried to visit her, fruitless.


太史公曰：蛋以豆蔻年华，习居于狼群之地，周旋于群雄之畔，免堕陷而逞雌威，获多金而交人情，是智也！然求私利而乱公德，贪小币而罔大爱，是不仁也。智而不仁，难终其身。新人诫矣！
Grand historian says, Eggie in her gender age, came to live in the wolves, held near the males, avoided the traps but showed her charms, acquired money and relativity. It is clever of her. However, she disordered the public virtue just for private interest, and lost general love just for little money. It is also kindless of her. It is hard for her to adhere to the way if with cleverness but also kindlessness. The newers should take it as a lesson.
_________________
无话可说

[anna]

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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[ericcoliu]

Aside from minor grammatical errors, this story is well written and reveals a comic tone of great subtlety.

Thanks for posting it.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[[ericcoliu]]

Aside from minor grammatical errors, this story is well written and reveals a comic tone of great subtlety.

Thanks for posting it.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul