酷我-北美枫

[连南河]

The Moon Asks People(1):VLR Journal，2008

(to my new friend Patrick)

the moon asks people
I'm a newcomer new worker
the cloud has moved a long way
to check Maple Garden
that my heart is hidden
the sweet wind I think
it's understanding I thought
passed rain with the deeper autumn
and snowing back to listen


七绝 月语红尘

(to my new friend Patrick)

月语红尘过路人,
云行千里望枫林.
东风应解窗头恨,
雨过秋声雪地音.

Saturday, Oct. 25, 2008 4:00-5:00am

[[FAFAFA]]

The Moon Asks People(1):VLR Journal，2008

(to my new friend Patrick)

the moon asks people
I'm a newcomer new worker
the cloud has moved a long way
to check Maple Garden
that my heart is hidden
the sweet wind I think
it's understanding I thought
passed rain with the deeper autumn
and snowing back to listen


七绝 月语红尘

(to my new friend Patrick)

月语红尘过路人,
云行千里望枫林.
东风应解窗头恨,
雨过秋声雪地音.

Saturday, Oct. 25, 2008 4:00-5:00am

[ericcoliu]

The Chinese version of the poem is well-written, evocative while the English one is rather poorly translated.

The Chinese version is so dense and fraught with literary elements rooted in the Chinese poetic tradition. IMHO, I don’t think you can do a fairly good job in a four-liner. And the English title is not impressive (maybe I love the Chinese one so intensely)

By the way, I think you can put the name, not the web address, of a website in the poem.

Cheers,

Eric
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[[ericcoliu]]

The Chinese version of the poem is well-written, evocative while the English one is rather poorly translated.

The Chinese version is so dense and fraught with literary elements rooted in the Chinese poetic tradition. IMHO, I don’t think you can do a fairly good job in a four-liner. And the English title is not impressive (maybe I love the Chinese one so intensely)

By the way, I think you can put the name, not the web address, of a website in the poem.

Cheers,

Eric
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[连南河]

Hi, Eric, thank you

the poem has been adjusted and the English title I'm thinking of

[[FAFAFA]]

Hi, Eric, thank you

the poem has been adjusted and the English title I'm thinking of

[Lake]

Whisper of the Moon ?

[[Lake]]

Whisper of the Moon ?

[连南河]

Hi, Lake, thanks for helping

The English title "Whisper Of The Moon" is meaningful
I use it and try to rewrite again

Whisper Of The Moon

the moon asks people
have been written
the moonlight
with white cloud go through
Maple Garden
my heart has been hidden
the sweet wind
with the sweet snowing
seasons back to listen



I like "Whisper Of The Moon",
but I like "The Moon Asks People", too
It's a true story
my feeling and emotion have come out
while my new friend Patrick shook my hands warmly

By the way, two-way translations between English and Chinese I need to learn more
Here is a Tang Dynasty Chinese poem written by Li Bai and translated by Obata
(Tang Poems have been written one thousand years ago)

To Wang Lun

Li Bai

I was about to sail away in a junk,
When suddenly I heard
The sound of stamping and singing on the bank——
It was you and your friends come to bid me farewell.
The Peach Flower Lake is a thousand fathoms deep,
But it cannot compare, O Wang Lun,
With the depth of your love for me.

(Translated by Obata )

七绝 赠汪伦

李白

李白乘舟将欲行，
忽闻岸上踏歌声。
桃花潭水深千尺，
不及汪伦送我情。

[[FAFAFA]]

Hi, Lake, thanks for helping

The English title "Whisper Of The Moon" is meaningful
I use it and try to rewrite again

Whisper Of The Moon

the moon asks people
have been written
the moonlight
with white cloud go through
Maple Garden
my heart has been hidden
the sweet wind
with the sweet snowing
seasons back to listen



I like "Whisper Of The Moon",
but I like "The Moon Asks People", too
It's a true story
my feeling and emotion have come out
while my new friend Patrick shook my hands warmly

By the way, two-way translations between English and Chinese I need to learn more
Here is a Tang Dynasty Chinese poem written by Li Bai and translated by Obata
(Tang Poems have been written one thousand years ago)

To Wang Lun

Li Bai

I was about to sail away in a junk,
When suddenly I heard
The sound of stamping and singing on the bank——
It was you and your friends come to bid me farewell.
The Peach Flower Lake is a thousand fathoms deep,
But it cannot compare, O Wang Lun,
With the depth of your love for me.

(Translated by Obata )

七绝 赠汪伦

李白

李白乘舟将欲行，
忽闻岸上踏歌声。
桃花潭水深千尺，
不及汪伦送我情。

[连南河]

"one o'clock for meeting"
I'm missing

ALL THE BEST FOR THE COMING YEAR！

HAPPY NEW YEAR & A PROSPEROUS AND PEACEFUL 2010.

[[FFFFFF]]

"one o'clock for meeting"
I'm missing

ALL THE BEST FOR THE COMING YEAR！

HAPPY NEW YEAR & A PROSPEROUS AND PEACEFUL 2010.