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浴恩福[浴恩福]
浴恩福作品集
六品通判
（官儿做大了，保持廉洁哦）
注册时间: 2008-05-08
帖子: 123
来自: 多倫多
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 发表于: 星期四 九月 18, 2008 2:03 pm 发表主题: Sevenling (After Christine) |
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Sevenling (After Christine)
911
tears
no poetry
Seven years since
the dust has settled
the dead buried
This is our America(s)
_________________
報三恩、耕三大福田 |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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| 发表于: 星期五 九月 19, 2008 7:19 am 发表主题: Re: Sevenling (After Christine) |
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| 浴恩福 写到: | Sevenling (After Christine)
911
tears
no poetry
Seven years since
the dust has settled
the dead buried
This is our America(s) |
A poetic allusion to Theodor Adono’s then-famous, now-discarded statement:
"Writing poetry after Auschwitz is barbaric."
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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Champagne[Champagne]
Champagne作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2007-09-15
帖子: 394
来自: Nowhere & Everywhere
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| 发表于: 星期五 九月 19, 2008 9:55 am 发表主题: Re: Sevenling (After Christine) |
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| 浴恩福 写到: | Sevenling (After Christine)
911
tears
no poetry
Seven years since
the dust has settled
the dead buried
This is our America(s) |
There is a huge leap of faith from the main theme described in the second stanza to that of the concluding stanza.
_________________
I'm Champagne,
Bottled poetry with sparkling joy. |
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Lake[Lake]
Lake作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2006-10-10
帖子: 1341
来自: Sky Blue Water
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| 发表于: 星期五 九月 19, 2008 3:41 pm 发表主题: Re: Sevenling (After Christine) |
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| 浴恩福 写到: | Sevenling (After Christine)
911
tears
no poetry
Seven years since
the dust has settled
the dead buried
This is our America(s) |
Glad this train keeps moving.
In my response to Champagne's post, I said I would change "the dead buried" to "the dead not forgotten" is because I feel these two lines:
the dust has settled
the dead buried
mean more or less the same thing in the same direction. I maybe wrong. And you might find something better to say, I hope.
Cheers, |
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dundas[dundas]
dundas作品集
五品知州
（再努力一把就是四品大员了！）
注册时间: 2008-02-23
帖子: 214
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| 发表于: 星期六 九月 20, 2008 1:28 pm 发表主题: Re: Sevenling (After Christine) |
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| Lake 写到: | | 浴恩福 写到: |
the dust has settled
the dead buried
mean more or less the same thing in the same direction.
Cheers, |
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Yes. The repetition of these two lines with the similar meaning can, in my view, heighten the emotional impact of the phrase, "seven years since."
_________________
My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well |
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christine[christine]
christine作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2008-02-25
帖子: 304
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| 发表于: 星期日 九月 21, 2008 12:57 pm 发表主题: Re: Sevenling (After Christine) |
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| dundas 写到: |
Yes. The repetition of these two lines with the similar meaning can, in my view, heighten the emotional impact of the phrase, "seven years since." |
Yes, a good point.
This means that the majority of Americans have engaged themselves in the post-911 politics of fear (or so-called the war on terrorism). |
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clair[clair]
clair作品集
七品按察司
（我开始管这里的事儿了）
注册时间: 2008-03-13
帖子: 83
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| 发表于: 星期四 九月 25, 2008 11:55 am 发表主题: Re: Sevenling (After Christine) |
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| christine 写到: |
This means that the majority of Americans have engaged themselves in the post-911 politics of fear (or so-called the war on terrorism). |
Yes, a good point.
| 浴恩福 写到: |
This is our America(s) |
A thoughful narrative summary.
_________________
This dark
Ceiling without a star |
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浴恩福[浴恩福]
浴恩福作品集
六品通判
（官儿做大了，保持廉洁哦）
注册时间: 2008-05-08
帖子: 123
来自: 多倫多
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| 发表于: 星期一 十月 20, 2008 8:53 am 发表主题: |
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thanks for the read.
It's my intention to use the plural form of America as a concluding word.
_________________
報三恩、耕三大福田 |
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