酷我-北美枫

[ericcoliu]

Reading and Writing: Life on the Page


Short Day and Long Night (Butterfly Cinquain)


ggggggggggggggggShort day
gggggggggggggg slithering to
ggggggggdark night. Time keeps pushing
ggggggggggevery one to sleep six feet
gggggggggggggggggunder.
ggggggggggDoes it matter to anyone?
ggggggggggggIf you stay napping in
ggggggggggggggthe dirt? Short day.
ggggggggggggggggLong night.



Note:
In response to the Japanese haiku and tanka, Adelaide Crapsey invented a new poetic form, the Cinquain. It is a five-line syllabic form with the pattern two, four, six, eight, and two. Its variant, the Butterfly cinquain, is a nine-line syllabic form with the pattern two, four, six, eight, two, eight, six, four, and two.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[[ericcoliu]]

Reading and Writing: Life on the Page


Short Day and Long Night (Butterfly Cinquain)


ggggggggggggggggShort day
gggggggggggggg slithering to
ggggggggdark night. Time keeps pushing
ggggggggggevery one to sleep six feet
gggggggggggggggggunder.
ggggggggggDoes it matter to anyone?
ggggggggggggIf you stay napping in
ggggggggggggggthe dirt? Short day.
ggggggggggggggggLong night.



Note:
In response to the Japanese haiku and tanka, Adelaide Crapsey invented a new poetic form, the Cinquain. It is a five-line syllabic form with the pattern two, four, six, eight, and two. Its variant, the Butterfly cinquain, is a nine-line syllabic form with the pattern two, four, six, eight, two, eight, six, four, and two.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[Lake]

I remember I once wrote a Cinquain Chain.

vanishing in
to night

My only gripe is I got a hiccup at 'in' and 'to'.

[[Lake]]

I remember I once wrote a Cinquain Chain.

vanishing in
to night

My only gripe is I got a hiccup at 'in' and 'to'.

[ericcoliu]

[[ericcoliu]]

[Lake]

Here's an alternative, see if it works.

fading into
dark night.

[[Lake]]

Here's an alternative, see if it works.

fading into
dark night.

[ericcoliu]

[[ericcoliu]]

[Champagne]

[[Champagne]]

[christine]

Is this poem mainly re-written from your previously posted poem, Day and Night?

The use of repetition with its variant can highlighten the emotional impact of the poem.

[[christine]]

Is this poem mainly re-written from your previously posted poem, Day and Night?

The use of repetition with its variant can highlighten the emotional impact of the poem.

[Lake]

My alternative may not be the best words, but just an idea.

[[Lake]]

My alternative may not be the best words, but just an idea.

[ericcoliu]

[[ericcoliu]]