酷我-北美枫

[Lake]

Things I Didn’t Notice Before


Winding through Central Park, the trails are becoming dim and quiet as a quarter moon hangs pale in the sky. Once in a while, you hear a cheerful “Hello”, or a soft “Excuse us, on your left”, then a bike or two riding past. A line of road lamps already stands on duty, flickering timid yellow light.

humbly lowering your head
 your eyes light the darkness ahead 
  a silent guide  

A small pond sends forth its moist smell; the alga-bearing water is motionless, embraced by clusters of wild flowers flirting in the summer breeze, even more charming than those well maintained.

blue, purple, yellow…
 compete in the afterglow 
  I stop and judge  

Across a wooden bridge, a tree of unknown years stands upright, branching out towards the sky. I circle around it, to my amazement there are nine trunks growing out of the same root base, each has the same size as the others.

this oak -
 a nine-headed dragon 
  a curse or bliss?  

Here and there are signs of restoration in progress: patches of fields are fenced for prairies, fishermen are asked to release catfish and walleye caught from Bennett Lake … Suddenly I come to a halt, in front of me, a deer is chewing leaves by the roadside…

a lone doe
 meeting her evokes such joy 
  those tender eyes  

[[Lake]]

Things I Didn’t Notice Before


Winding through Central Park, the trails are becoming dim and quiet as a quarter moon hangs pale in the sky. Once in a while, you hear a cheerful “Hello”, or a soft “Excuse us, on your left”, then a bike or two riding past. A line of road lamps already stands on duty, flickering timid yellow light.

humbly lowering your head
 your eyes light the darkness ahead 
  a silent guide  

A small pond sends forth its moist smell; the alga-bearing water is motionless, embraced by clusters of wild flowers flirting in the summer breeze, even more charming than those well maintained.

blue, purple, yellow…
 compete in the afterglow 
  I stop and judge  

Across a wooden bridge, a tree of unknown years stands upright, branching out towards the sky. I circle around it, to my amazement there are nine trunks growing out of the same root base, each has the same size as the others.

this oak -
 a nine-headed dragon 
  a curse or bliss?  

Here and there are signs of restoration in progress: patches of fields are fenced for prairies, fishermen are asked to release catfish and walleye caught from Bennett Lake … Suddenly I come to a halt, in front of me, a deer is chewing leaves by the roadside…

a lone doe
 meeting her evokes such joy 
  those tender eyes  

[ericcoliu]

A well-crafted haibun which let me pause and contemplate the signs of The Things I Didn’t Notice Before.

I like the concluding haiku, which reveals a dialogical relationship of nature to man.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[[ericcoliu]]

A well-crafted haibun which let me pause and contemplate the signs of The Things I Didn’t Notice Before.

I like the concluding haiku, which reveals a dialogical relationship of nature to man.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[温暖的水獸]

Although lengthy, this haibun is written in the spirit of Basho's work.
_________________
舌頭那匹温暖的水獸　馴養地在小小的水族箱中　蠕動
那獸說：是的 我願意

[[温暖的水獸]]

Although lengthy, this haibun is written in the spirit of Basho's work.
_________________
舌頭那匹温暖的水獸　馴養地在小小的水族箱中　蠕動
那獸說：是的 我願意

[Lake]

Thanks Eric for your encouraging words. They are needed.

[[Lake]]

Thanks Eric for your encouraging words. They are needed.

[Lake]

Hmm, 'lengthy' is a negative but redeemed by 'the spirit of Basho's work'.

I've been reading Basho's Journey and trying to capture his spirit. This one is actually a journal though in a haibun-like form. If I dated it, it might not look too lengthy.

Thanks 温暖的水獸.

[[Lake]]

Hmm, 'lengthy' is a negative but redeemed by 'the spirit of Basho's work'.

I've been reading Basho's Journey and trying to capture his spirit. This one is actually a journal though in a haibun-like form. If I dated it, it might not look too lengthy.

Thanks 温暖的水獸.

[ericcoliu]

[[ericcoliu]]

[Lake]

Hi Eric,

Thanks for your kindness. I don't feel annoyed by the comments,or if there's any need to get over with certain writing styles; instead I think the comments are well balanced . The comment of 'lengthy' usually denotes a negative tone, however the comment of 'the spirit of Basho's work' offsets that negativity.

Glad you pointed out the word 'judge'. I've been waiting for the opinion on the use of that word, not sure if it fits there. I first used 'watch', then thought the wild flowers are like blooming in a beauty competition, then the word 'judge' came into my mind naturally.

Best,
Lake

[[Lake]]

Hi Eric,

Thanks for your kindness. I don't feel annoyed by the comments,or if there's any need to get over with certain writing styles; instead I think the comments are well balanced . The comment of 'lengthy' usually denotes a negative tone, however the comment of 'the spirit of Basho's work' offsets that negativity.

Glad you pointed out the word 'judge'. I've been waiting for the opinion on the use of that word, not sure if it fits there. I first used 'watch', then thought the wild flowers are like blooming in a beauty competition, then the word 'judge' came into my mind naturally.

Best,
Lake

[ericcoliu]

[[ericcoliu]]

[dundas]

[[dundas]]

[dundas]

[[dundas]]

[Lake]

Eric and dundas, thank you both.

So 'judge' is a no, no, in your eye, right?

I thought about:

blue, purple, yellow…
 compete in the afterglow 
  summer carnival  

still not satisfied. Let me mull over.

[[Lake]]

Eric and dundas, thank you both.

So 'judge' is a no, no, in your eye, right?

I thought about:

blue, purple, yellow…
 compete in the afterglow 
  summer carnival  

still not satisfied. Let me mull over.