酷我-北美枫

[陈依达]

.

《说不出来》


我说不出来
微烫的舌尖
就像我也凭空说不出来
一座爱情的峰巅
土地就是土地
先让我们闭口不谈
肥沃的定义
在富水的层面，一些实枪荷弹的果农
曾经耕耘过我的精神领地
或许也确实，那里结过三两个未曾命名的果实


不过你别问我——关于它们
是否多汁
是否酸甜有致
或许我只能说
会有一些瓜熟蒂落


2008-8-13


Can’t Speak Out


Can’t speak out,
the slightly burned tip of my tongue.
Still, I can’t speak out a peak of love,
from founded fabrication beyond flesh and blood.
Land is land, let’s keep us away
from the definition of fatness.
Some wholly armed fruit grower, on the flooded layer,
Indeed, my spiritual courtyard was dug.
As result, several unnamed fruit
might be counted.


----But don't ask me
if they are tasty and juicy.
I guess I can only say
there may be a time for harvest.



2008-8-13
_________________
心境的灵空里一条带引擎的鱼

[[yida]]

.

《说不出来》


我说不出来
微烫的舌尖
就像我也凭空说不出来
一座爱情的峰巅
土地就是土地
先让我们闭口不谈
肥沃的定义
在富水的层面，一些实枪荷弹的果农
曾经耕耘过我的精神领地
或许也确实，那里结过三两个未曾命名的果实


不过你别问我——关于它们
是否多汁
是否酸甜有致
或许我只能说
会有一些瓜熟蒂落


2008-8-13


Can’t Speak Out


Can’t speak out,
the slightly burned tip of my tongue.
Still, I can’t speak out a peak of love,
from founded fabrication beyond flesh and blood.
Land is land, let’s keep us away
from the definition of fatness.
Some wholly armed fruit grower, on the flooded layer,
Indeed, my spiritual courtyard was dug.
As result, several unnamed fruit
might be counted.


----But don't ask me
if they are tasty and juicy.
I guess I can only say
there may be a time for harvest.



2008-8-13
_________________
心境的灵空里一条带引擎的鱼

[星子]

welcome new friend.

fatness is not 肥沃, is 肥胖。

But don’t ask me about those,
are they tasty and juicy.
Perhaps yet I can only say,
the matured melon will give harvest.


翻译好像有问题。。。
_________________

[[ANNA]]

welcome new friend.

fatness is not 肥沃, is 肥胖。

But don’t ask me about those,
are they tasty and juicy.
Perhaps yet I can only say,
the matured melon will give harvest.


翻译好像有问题。。。
_________________

[陈依达]

很感谢星子版主的评论。我本来想用‘fertileness’来表达‘肥沃’，一来感觉‘fatness’简单，而来觉得有可能产生的歧义好像无伤大雅，所以就用后者了。后一节的问题要是能点得透一些就更好了~~
我的英文不怎么样，德文能好一些。但是德文是小语种暂时没有用来写诗。这是我第二次把自己的诗边写边翻译，可能是自己的作品，处理起来随意了些，觉得顺口好像就OK了，这种态度未必有益。
期待在这里能结识更多的朋友们，欢迎大家对我帖中的诗歌无论中或英文提出批评，我有谢在先！
_________________
心境的灵空里一条带引擎的鱼

[[yida]]

很感谢星子版主的评论。我本来想用‘fertileness’来表达‘肥沃’，一来感觉‘fatness’简单，而来觉得有可能产生的歧义好像无伤大雅，所以就用后者了。后一节的问题要是能点得透一些就更好了~~
我的英文不怎么样，德文能好一些。但是德文是小语种暂时没有用来写诗。这是我第二次把自己的诗边写边翻译，可能是自己的作品，处理起来随意了些，觉得顺口好像就OK了，这种态度未必有益。
期待在这里能结识更多的朋友们，欢迎大家对我帖中的诗歌无论中或英文提出批评，我有谢在先！
_________________
心境的灵空里一条带引擎的鱼

[星子]

But don’t ask me about those,
are they tasty and juicy.
Perhaps yet I can only say,
the matured melon will give harvest

---But don't ask me
if they are tasty and juicy.
I guess I can only say
there may be a time for harvest.
_________________

[[ANNA]]

But don’t ask me about those,
are they tasty and juicy.
Perhaps yet I can only say,
the matured melon will give harvest

---But don't ask me
if they are tasty and juicy.
I guess I can only say
there may be a time for harvest.
_________________

[陈依达]

感谢星子，尽管我觉得‘there may be a time for harvest.’似乎对‘瓜熟蒂落’的表达有些不完全尽兴，但我也没想出更好的译法，所以接受了你的意见~~
_________________
心境的灵空里一条带引擎的鱼

[[yida]]

感谢星子，尽管我觉得‘there may be a time for harvest.’似乎对‘瓜熟蒂落’的表达有些不完全尽兴，但我也没想出更好的译法，所以接受了你的意见~~
_________________
心境的灵空里一条带引擎的鱼

[anna]

Hi Yida,

What I posted was only another way to translate. I just want to remind you that you need not translate it word by word. If you do so, it reads like translation.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[[星子安娜]]

Hi Yida,

What I posted was only another way to translate. I just want to remind you that you need not translate it word by word. If you do so, it reads like translation.
_________________
---------------------

Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

[陈依达]

Hi anna,


Thanks for your respond. I started to read your poem and translation from last page and l like many of them.
It will take some time for me to finish reading and certainly it will be helpful.
_________________
心境的灵空里一条带引擎的鱼

[[yida]]

Hi anna,


Thanks for your respond. I started to read your poem and translation from last page and l like many of them.
It will take some time for me to finish reading and certainly it will be helpful.
_________________
心境的灵空里一条带引擎的鱼

[星子]

thanks Yida.


I hope I do have time to revise them.

Anna
_________________

[[ANNA]]

thanks Yida.


I hope I do have time to revise them.

Anna
_________________