酷我-北美枫

[clair]

The Smell of Mothballs (Sudden Fiction)

Such cool and breezy weather is kind of unusual in May. The sight of your approaching warms me. You say nothing, hold my hand tightly, and we walk off together.

Your overcoat gives off the faint scentl of mothballs. As I lean close to your shoulder, I think that a man’s body cannot smell any better with this clean, neutral smell. The wind is blowing now. You dutifully pull me closer to your chest and continue tol say nothing all the way home. The smell of mothballs becomes stronger. It is the smell of home. Yet, I know fully: It is your home.
_________________
This dark
Ceiling without a star

[[clair]]

The Smell of Mothballs (Sudden Fiction)

Such cool and breezy weather is kind of unusual in May. The sight of your approaching warms me. You say nothing, hold my hand tightly, and we walk off together.

Your overcoat gives off the faint scentl of mothballs. As I lean close to your shoulder, I think that a man’s body cannot smell any better with this clean, neutral smell. The wind is blowing now. You dutifully pull me closer to your chest and continue tol say nothing all the way home. The smell of mothballs becomes stronger. It is the smell of home. Yet, I know fully: It is your home.
_________________
This dark
Ceiling without a star

[Champagne]

[[Champagne]]

[fanfan]

[quote="clair"]

Your overcoat gives off the feeble smell of camphor balls, which is carried in the air by the wind. [quote]

I think that you can drop the line marked above, making your piece more succinct.

I like the ending. "Yet" is a key word.
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon.

[[FAFAFA]]

[quote="clair"]

Your overcoat gives off the feeble smell of camphor balls, which is carried in the air by the wind. [quote]

I think that you can drop the line marked above, making your piece more succinct.

I like the ending. "Yet" is a key word.
_________________
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon.

[ericcoliu]

[[ericcoliu]]

[dundas]

[[dundas]]

[clair]

Thank you all for your helpful suggestions.

[[clair]]

Thank you all for your helpful suggestions.

[浴恩福]

[[浴恩福]]

[fanfan]

[[FFFFFF]]

[clair]

[[clair]]