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浴恩福[浴恩福]
浴恩福作品集
六品通判
（官儿做大了，保持廉洁哦）
注册时间: 2008-05-08
帖子: 123
来自: 多倫多
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 发表于: 星期四 五月 08, 2008 1:05 pm 发表主题: Mother of the Groom, 新郎的母親 (revised) |
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Poem Text of Mother of the Groom by Seamus Heaney
What she remembers
Is his glistening back
In the bath, his small boots
In the ring of boots at her feet.
Hands in her voided lap,
She hears a daughter welcomed.
It’s as if he kicked when lifted
And slipped her soapy hold.
Once soap would ease off
The wedding ring
That’s bedded forever now
In her clapping hand.
Chinese translation
新郎的母親
她只記得
他在浴盆中
光亮的背，他的小靴
在她腳旁的一堆靴子中。
雙手放在空膝上
她聽見歡迎媳婦的招呼。
好像他被抱起時亂踢
而溜出她皀滑的掌握。
以前肥皀會幫忙取下
結婚戒指
而今要永久固定
於她鼓掌同意的手。
_________________
報三恩、耕三大福田
最后进行编辑的是 浴恩福 on 星期一 五月 26, 2008 12:18 pm, 总计第 1 次编辑 |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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| 发表于: 星期五 五月 09, 2008 7:40 am 发表主题: Re: Mother of the Groom, 新郎的母親 |
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| 浴恩福 写到: |
She hears a daughter welcomed.
It’s as if he kicked when lifted
And slipped her soapy hold.
雙手放在空膝上
她聽見歡迎女兒的招呼。
好像他被抱起時亂踢
而溜出她油滑的掌握。
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A good work. Like many of his marriage poems written during the 1970s, the ambivalence is pervasive throughout Mother of the Groom. One can easily find in the poem the mixture of sadness and celebration.
By the way, daughter used here is the short form of daughter-in-law. And "油滑" makes me think of "oily" instead of "soapy". I think you need to find another Chinese term for "soapy" because soap is one of key words in the poem.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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anna[星子安娜]
anna作品集
Site Admin
注册时间: 2004-05-02
帖子: 7141
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| 发表于: 星期五 五月 09, 2008 3:32 pm 发表主题: |
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Welcome. This is a good poem with the main character traverses the time and reflect the true life experience and voidness.
Good work for translation too.
_________________
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Anna Yin
《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...
http://annapoetry.com |
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christine[christine]
christine作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2008-02-25
帖子: 304
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| 发表于: 星期日 五月 11, 2008 12:46 pm 发表主题: Re: Mother of the Groom, 新郎的母親 |
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| 浴恩福 写到: |
Poem Text of Mother of the Groom by Seamus Heaney
his small boots
In the ring of boots at her feet.
光亮的背，他的小靴
在她腳下的一堆靴子中。
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I think 腳旁 is better than 腳下. |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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| 发表于: 星期日 五月 11, 2008 7:38 pm 发表主题: Re: Mother of the Groom, 新郎的母親 |
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| ericcoliu 写到: |
By the way, daughter used here is the short form of daughter-in-law. And "油滑" makes me think of "oily" instead of "soapy". I think you need to find another Chinese term for "soapy" because soap is one of key words in the poem. |
How about 皀滑?
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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浴恩福[浴恩福]
浴恩福作品集
六品通判
（官儿做大了，保持廉洁哦）
注册时间: 2008-05-08
帖子: 123
来自: 多倫多
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| 发表于: 星期二 五月 13, 2008 10:44 am 发表主题: Re: Mother of the Groom, 新郎的母親 |
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| ericcoliu 写到: |
A good work. Like many of his marriage poems written during the 1970s, the ambivalence is pervasive throughout Mother of the Groom. One can easily find in the poem the mixture of sadness and celebration.
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The poem written by the Irish poet Seamus Heaney is a poem about the feelings, thoughts and memories that the groom's mother feels on her son's wedding day. The mother thinks back to the days when her son was a baby. She doesn’t want him to get married because when he does, he will have another woman in his life. Although she doesn’t want her son to wed, she claps anyways because she knows it is what he wants.
| ericcoliu 写到: |
By the way, daughter used here is the short form of daughter-in-law. And "油滑" makes me think of "oily" instead of "soapy". I think you need to find another Chinese term for "soapy" because soap is one of key words in the poem. |
| ericcoliu 写到: |
How about 皀滑? |
Good suggestion. Thanks.
_________________
報三恩、耕三大福田 |
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浴恩福[浴恩福]
浴恩福作品集
六品通判
（官儿做大了，保持廉洁哦）
注册时间: 2008-05-08
帖子: 123
来自: 多倫多
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| 发表于: 星期二 五月 13, 2008 10:49 am 发表主题: |
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| anna 写到: |
This is a good poem with the main character traverses the time and reflect the true life experience and voidness.
Good work for translation too. |
Yes, well-said. Empty nest syndrome
| christine 写到: |
I think 腳旁 is better than 腳下. |
Yes.
Thank both of you for your valuable comments.
_________________
報三恩、耕三大福田 |
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clair[clair]
clair作品集
七品按察司
（我开始管这里的事儿了）
注册时间: 2008-03-13
帖子: 83
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| 发表于: 星期二 五月 13, 2008 11:12 am 发表主题: Re: Mother of the Groom, 新郎的母親 |
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| 浴恩福 写到: |
The poem written by the Irish poet Seamus Heaney is a poem about the feelings, thoughts and memories that the groom's mother feels on her son's wedding day. The mother thinks back to the days when her son was a baby. She doesn’t want him to get married because when he does, he will have another woman in his life. Although she doesn’t want her son to wed, she claps anyways because she knows it is what he wants.
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Yes, Heaney skilfully uses a third person viewpoint to describe the thoughts that the mother is going through. The voice is taken on by Heaney as he explains the thoughts and memories that the mother has.
To a mother, a son is never a fully grown man; and a son is never a fully grown man until he understands and accepts this about his mother.
_________________
This dark
Ceiling without a star |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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| 发表于: 星期二 五月 13, 2008 7:58 pm 发表主题: Re: Mother of the Groom, 新郎的母親 |
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| 浴恩福 写到: |
The poem written by the Irish poet Seamus Heaney is a poem about the feelings, thoughts and memories that the groom's mother feels on her son's wedding day. The mother thinks back to the days when her son was a baby. She doesn’t want him to get married because when he does, he will have another woman in his life. Although she doesn’t want her son to wed, she claps anyways because she knows it is what he wants.
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Yes.
This 12-line poem skilfully packs into itself as touchingly moving an account of the private thoughts of a woman during maybe a minute or two of a particular day in her life -- one in which her son is being married . The title tells the reader all he needs to get him going, framing the poem.
By the way, clapping one's hands is an Irish custom indicative of support. I think it's better to translate "clapping hands" as "鼓掌同意"
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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浴恩福[浴恩福]
浴恩福作品集
六品通判
（官儿做大了，保持廉洁哦）
注册时间: 2008-05-08
帖子: 123
来自: 多倫多
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| 发表于: 星期二 五月 20, 2008 11:44 am 发表主题: Re: Mother of the Groom, 新郎的母親 |
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| ericcoliu 写到: |
By the way, clapping one's hands is an Irish custom indicative of support. I think it's better to translate "clapping hands" as "鼓掌同意" |
I don't know that. A good suggestion. Thanks.
_________________
報三恩、耕三大福田 |
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浴恩福[浴恩福]
浴恩福作品集
六品通判
（官儿做大了，保持廉洁哦）
注册时间: 2008-05-08
帖子: 123
来自: 多倫多
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| 发表于: 星期二 五月 20, 2008 11:46 am 发表主题: Re: Mother of the Groom, 新郎的母親 |
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| clair 写到: |
Yes, Heaney skilfully uses a third person viewpoint to describe the thoughts that the mother is going through. The voice is taken on by Heaney as he explains the thoughts and memories that the mother has.
To a mother, a son is never a fully grown man; and a son is never a fully grown man until he understands and accepts this about his mother. |
Yes, well said.
Her thoughts have been exact and solemn, they are beautiful and well-expressed in the opening image, but what makes them unforgettable in their beauty is that she will never speak them.
_________________
報三恩、耕三大福田 |
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Champagne[Champagne]
Champagne作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2007-09-15
帖子: 394
来自: Nowhere & Everywhere
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| 发表于: 星期二 五月 20, 2008 3:55 pm 发表主题: Re: Mother of the Groom, 新郎的母親 |
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| 浴恩福 写到: |
Her thoughts have been exact and solemn, they are beautiful and well-expressed in the opening image, but what makes them unforgettable in their beauty is that she will never speak them. |
I think it should be the openning images.
In my view, what makes the poem magical is that it bespeaks the silence of loss. In doing so, it illuminates the thoughts of a "mother of the groom" through well-crafted images.
_________________
I'm Champagne,
Bottled poetry with sparkling joy. |
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浴恩福[浴恩福]
浴恩福作品集
六品通判
（官儿做大了，保持廉洁哦）
注册时间: 2008-05-08
帖子: 123
来自: 多倫多
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| 发表于: 星期一 五月 26, 2008 12:20 pm 发表主题: Re: Mother of the Groom, 新郎的母親 |
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| Champagne 写到: |
I think it should be the openning images.
In my view, what makes the poem magical is that it bespeaks the silence of loss. In doing so, it illuminates the thoughts of a "mother of the groom" through well-crafted images. |
Yes, well-said. This poem is emotionally evocative of motherly images.
I've revised my piece.
_________________
報三恩、耕三大福田 |
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