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不清[不清]
不清作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2006-03-22
帖子: 1364
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 发表于: 星期六 三月 15, 2008 12:50 pm 发表主题: Pressure Points |
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Here is my first poem, after a very long laid-off! Hope you like it....
Pressure Points
for Kaitlyn
All present will be forgotten this time
next winter. The price of gasoline
continues to skyrocket, and
the effect of an epidural has long faded.
On an average day of their life-lasting
pageant, postpartum depressed parents
drift through the arterial highway.
The brackish, snowy nation will soon
offer additional newborn benefits to families
who are willing to perform everyday
poo examination? But Her Majesty
aboard is now too busy celebrating
her grandson’s homecoming. Leave
a message after the beep sound
if we didn’t pick up.
We are probably busy putting our ear
plugs on. A massive massage
is much appreciated! Now, I snore.
Okay, how about an occasional black coffee
from Starbucks as a typical afternoon
looms into total darkness?
2008 03 15
_________________
「四十二排浪，沒有一排是相似的」——不清
博客：
http://42waves.tumblr.com
最后进行编辑的是 不清 on 星期日 三月 16, 2008 9:33 am, 总计第 3 次编辑 |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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| 发表于: 星期六 三月 15, 2008 4:24 pm 发表主题: Re: Pressure Point |
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| 不清 写到: |
On an average day of their life-lasting
pageant, postpartum depressed parents
drift through the arterial highway.
A massive massage
is much appreciated! Now, I snore.
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A poetic and humorous description of stressed-out modern life.
| 不清 写到: |
continues to skyrocket, and
effect of the epidural has long faded.
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effect of the epidural or effects of the epidural or the effect of the epidural ?
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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不清[不清]
不清作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2006-03-22
帖子: 1364
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| 发表于: 星期六 三月 15, 2008 4:40 pm 发表主题: Re: Pressure Point |
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Ha, Thanks....
not sure which one is better or grammatically correct... maybe "the effect of epidural?"
_________________
「四十二排浪，沒有一排是相似的」——不清
博客：
http://42waves.tumblr.com |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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| 发表于: 星期六 三月 15, 2008 4:46 pm 发表主题: Re: Pressure Point |
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| 不清 写到: | Ha, Thanks....
not sure which one is better or grammatically correct... maybe "the effect of epidural?" |
I think "the effect of an epidural" would be better. The effect of an epidural injection refers to pain relief.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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不清[不清]
不清作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2006-03-22
帖子: 1364
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| 发表于: 星期六 三月 15, 2008 10:18 pm 发表主题: Re: Pressure Point |
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Good Idea!! Thank you Eric.....
_________________
「四十二排浪，沒有一排是相似的」——不清
博客：
http://42waves.tumblr.com |
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星子[ANNA]
星子作品集
酷我！I made it！
注册时间: 2004-06-05
帖子: 13192
来自: Toronto
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| 发表于: 星期日 三月 16, 2008 5:24 pm 发表主题: |
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The price of gasoline
continues to skyrocket, and
the effect of an epidural has long faded.
Good to read yours again.
the arterial highway, good image.
_________________
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dundas[dundas]
dundas作品集
五品知州
（再努力一把就是四品大员了！）
注册时间: 2008-02-23
帖子: 214
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| 发表于: 星期一 三月 17, 2008 1:21 pm 发表主题: Re: Pressure Points |
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| 不清 写到: |
Okay, how about an occasional black coffee
from Starbucks as a typical afternoon
looms into total darkness?
2008 03 15 |
The concluding stanza is quite good.
All present will be forgotten this time next day.
_________________
My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well |
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不清[不清]
不清作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2006-03-22
帖子: 1364
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Lake[Lake]
Lake作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2006-10-10
帖子: 1341
来自: Sky Blue Water
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| 发表于: 星期五 四月 04, 2008 9:57 pm 发表主题: |
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来看看不清。 大都市日常生活一瞥，有点冷幽默。
问好。 |
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不清[不清]
不清作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2006-03-22
帖子: 1364
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| 发表于: 星期五 四月 04, 2008 10:38 pm 发表主题: |
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| Lake 写到: | 来看看不清。 大都市日常生活一瞥，有点冷幽默。
问好。 |
謝謝ＬＡＫＥ來讀，大都市日常生活一瞥包括了我的初生女兒ＫＡＩＴＬＹＮ。。 that's why you haven't seen me up here for a long time.......... Busy change diapers... 
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「四十二排浪，沒有一排是相似的」——不清
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