酷我-北美枫

[星子]

《响起歌声的夜晚》
高梁

覆盖大地的夜晚向一盏灯合围
它只能把一盏灯围住，却不能把一盏灯变黑

一盏灯挂到多高，成为星星？
一盏灯挂到多高，再也看不到？

在夜晚出行，就像在潜泳
时间越长，潜得越深，就像黑夜
它有一个核心

在夜晚，更象是灵魂的出行
我的眼睛明亮，却什么也看不见
我只看到自己的灵魂和眼睛

只有月光
引领着我们上升 柔柔的清辉照到心灵
带来忧伤 在忧伤的光明中
我听到由远而近的歌声 圆润的歌声
使夜晚变得嘹亮，而又安详


The Night with Singing

Translated by Anna Yin


The shades of night fall upon earth,
and envelop a lonely lamp.
It can circle the lamp, but never dim it.

How high could a lamp be hung up to become a star?
And how far could it flow to be out of sight?

To walk into the night is like to dive in the water,
the longer you stay, the deeper you dive,
as the dark night has a core inside.

At night, our soul gets out from us,
even my eyes are bright,
I see nothing but my spirits.

Only the moonlight leads us to rise,
its soft light casts on them,
and brings the sadness.
In the sorrowful sheen,
I hear songs from far and near,
the mellow singing brightens the night,
loud and clear in peace.
_________________

[[ANNA]]

《响起歌声的夜晚》
高梁

覆盖大地的夜晚向一盏灯合围
它只能把一盏灯围住，却不能把一盏灯变黑

一盏灯挂到多高，成为星星？
一盏灯挂到多高，再也看不到？

在夜晚出行，就像在潜泳
时间越长，潜得越深，就像黑夜
它有一个核心

在夜晚，更象是灵魂的出行
我的眼睛明亮，却什么也看不见
我只看到自己的灵魂和眼睛

只有月光
引领着我们上升 柔柔的清辉照到心灵
带来忧伤 在忧伤的光明中
我听到由远而近的歌声 圆润的歌声
使夜晚变得嘹亮，而又安详


The Night with Singing

Translated by Anna Yin


The shades of night fall upon earth,
and envelop a lonely lamp.
It can circle the lamp, but never dim it.

How high could a lamp be hung up to become a star?
And how far could it flow to be out of sight?

To walk into the night is like to dive in the water,
the longer you stay, the deeper you dive,
as the dark night has a core inside.

At night, our soul gets out from us,
even my eyes are bright,
I see nothing but my spirits.

Only the moonlight leads us to rise,
its soft light casts on them,
and brings the sadness.
In the sorrowful sheen,
I hear songs from far and near,
the mellow singing brightens the night,
loud and clear in peace.
_________________

[戴玨]

一些建議:
The Night of Songs

Wrapped by the dark, night approaches a lonely lamp.
It can circle a lamp, but never dim it.

The longer you stay, the deeper you dive,

but I see nothing but my spirit.

...leads us to rise,

I hear songs from far and near,
the mellow singing brightens the night,
_________________
我的blog:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1310527443

[[Edgar]]

一些建議:
The Night of Songs

Wrapped by the dark, night approaches a lonely lamp.
It can circle a lamp, but never dim it.

The longer you stay, the deeper you dive,

but I see nothing but my spirit.

...leads us to rise,

I hear songs from far and near,
the mellow singing brightens the night,
_________________
我的blog:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1310527443

[星子]

谢谢戴玨, 很好的建议..虚心接受

你也来翻译一首如何?
http://coviews.com/viewtopic.php?t=34093

自己斗胆了一下, 也想听听你的意见. http://coviews.com/viewtopic.php?t=34291
_________________

[[ANNA]]

谢谢戴玨, 很好的建议..虚心接受

你也来翻译一首如何?
http://coviews.com/viewtopic.php?t=34093

自己斗胆了一下, 也想听听你的意见. http://coviews.com/viewtopic.php?t=34291
_________________

[非马]

"Wrapped by the dark, night approaches a lonely lamp. "
I am not quite sure what is wrapped by the dark here. The night or the lamp?
From the structure of the line, it seems to be the former. But then, 原诗的" 覆盖大地的夜晚"便变成了"被黑暗覆盖的夜晚"了. 值得斟酌.

问星子及戴玨好!

[[FFFFFF]]

"Wrapped by the dark, night approaches a lonely lamp. "
I am not quite sure what is wrapped by the dark here. The night or the lamp?
From the structure of the line, it seems to be the former. But then, 原诗的" 覆盖大地的夜晚"便变成了"被黑暗覆盖的夜晚"了. 值得斟酌.

问星子及戴玨好!

[戴玨]

補充一下，dark前面應加個定冠詞；my spirit最好用單數。

至於第一句，或可簡單地翻成：
The shades of night fall upon earth, and envelop a lonely lamp.

也問非馬和星子好！
_________________
我的blog:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1310527443

[[Edgar]]

補充一下，dark前面應加個定冠詞；my spirit最好用單數。

至於第一句，或可簡單地翻成：
The shades of night fall upon earth, and envelop a lonely lamp.

也問非馬和星子好！
_________________
我的blog:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1310527443

[星子]

Thanks 非马 和 戴玨 。
很有道理。自批一下，没有仔细阅读。。。 翻译完之后，应该再返回翻译，看是否对应原文。
_________________

[[ANNA]]

Thanks 非马 和 戴玨 。
很有道理。自批一下，没有仔细阅读。。。 翻译完之后，应该再返回翻译，看是否对应原文。
_________________

[高梁]

谢谢星子，不懂英文，很少到这里来
_________________
我知道尘土的含义 我只要内在的洁白

[[FAFAFA]]

谢谢星子，不懂英文，很少到这里来
_________________
我知道尘土的含义 我只要内在的洁白