酷我-北美枫

非马

思乡病

害一场思乡病
回一趟家
回一趟家
害一场思乡病

这是无可奈何的事
这是无可奈何的事

HOMESICKNESS

suffering badly from homesickness
he returns to his homeland
upon returning to his homeland
he suffers even worse from homesickness

there's nothing he can do about it
there's nothing he can do about it

星子 · 发表于: 星期二五月 15, 2007 8:53 am 发表主题:

哈哈...这也许也是我的感受
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Lake · 发表于: 星期二五月 15, 2007 2:50 pm 发表主题:

人生有许多无奈。

长篙 · 发表于: 星期一五月 21, 2007 1:31 am 发表主题:

诗人双重的感受,简洁地表达出相互的牵连之情.

言不在多.
感真即行,
重重叠叠,
胜过万语千言.

这就是诗歌的魅力.
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忘掉写诗,你才开始真正写诗;詩無定法,隨性而安

長篙诗歌自然門
http://blog.sina.com.cn/99GG

不清 · 发表于: 星期一五月 21, 2007 7:08 am 发表主题:

這種表達方式，我覺沈悶。

不過，中文版本比英文好。

英文版本好像希望以沙士比亞句式去演釋。
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「四十二排浪，沒有一排是相似的」——不清

博客：
http://42waves.tumblr.com

非马 · 发表于: 星期日五月 27, 2007 10:10 pm 发表主题:

不清 · 发表于: 星期日五月 27, 2007 10:42 pm 发表主题:

我也忘記了寫過這樣的感覺。

今再讀一次，又真的感受到「無奈」，並不沈悶了。真的慚愧！ Embarassed

也許這就是心境吧？

晓鸣 · 发表于: 星期一五月 28, 2007 5:39 am 发表主题:

有时最深厚的感情只能欲说还休。这种重复可以替代千言万语。

淡水 · 发表于: 星期三五月 30, 2007 1:23 pm 发表主题:

言简情深。
可否再精炼点。
无奈
无奈！

个见。海涵。问好！

荧石 · 发表于: 星期三五月 30, 2007 2:16 pm 发表主题: tried to modify it.

HOMESICKNESS

Suffering from a homesickness
Back home
Back home
Suffering from a homesickness

Helpless!
Helpless!

Suffering from a bad homesickness
Back home
Back home
Suffering from a worse homesickness

Hopeless!
Hopeless!
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一只大手蒙住了我的眼睛, 黑夜便成了我的光明.

poemking.blog.sohu.com

不清 · 发表于: 星期三五月 30, 2007 8:31 pm 发表主题:

this modification is nature... the original one is much better...
_________________
「四十二排浪，沒有一排是相似的」——不清

博客：
http://42waves.tumblr.com

老哈 · 发表于: 星期六六月 09, 2007 1:04 am 发表主题:

暗自吐一口大气！
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掠过天堂刹那间的感觉

Lake · 发表于: 星期三六月 13, 2007 12:16 pm 发表主题:

再读，还是非马先生的好，读出那种挥之不去的惆伥，无可奈何的心曲。

荧石的版本，看上去太整齐，像搭积木；读来感觉机械，tongue twister.

知道荧石的性格是有话直说，所以就直言了。 Razz

荧石

not know poem at all. Your points have nothing to do with poems.
Poetry is an art, which needs both great ideas and art beauty, not only a release of thoughts.

Lake · 发表于: 星期三六月 13, 2007 4:06 pm 发表主题:

lol

I am not arguing who knows poems and who doesn't.

However, I am pretty sure I am reading a poem and commenting on it, and I express my likes and dislikes with reasons, elements a comment should constitute...

Frankly speaking, it is not constructive and does not do any good at all just blaming those who hold different views (as we all know reviewing poetry is that the whole process is subjective. Different people like different types of poetry and have differing opinions regarding what constitutes quality) and claiming nobody but you 荧石 know the making of poetry.

My humble opinion.

Take care,

A novice