酷我-北美枫

[星子]

何均作 Lake 译

水鸟的声音滑进梦想
脚叛离土地
种籽在头上发芽
目光啃噬孤独的背

The sound of waterbirds slips into my dream
My feet betray the ground
Seeds sprout on my head
I gaze at my lonely back

回到树巢。修筑小木屋
与穿草裙的土著女人
过狩猎日子。水鸟盘旋
翅膀拍打。岩石空鸣

Return to the nest. Build a little cabin
Live a hunting life with a native woman
Who wears a grass skirt. Waterbirds circle
And flap their wings. Rocks echo

木屋四周的地下水
滋养森林，汇流大海
水鸟的声音响彻远方
路的远方指向大海

The underground water around the cabin
Nourishes forests, and flows into the sea
The sound of waterbirds resounds into the distance
Where the road points to the ocean

土著女人的草裙
长出青草。儿女成群
鱼咬碎天空和飞翔
水鸟的声音滑进梦想

Upon the skirt of the native woman
Green grass grows many a son and daughter
Fish in flight chew the sky
The sound of waterbirds slips into my dream
_________________

[[ANNA]]

何均作 Lake 译

水鸟的声音滑进梦想
脚叛离土地
种籽在头上发芽
目光啃噬孤独的背

The sound of waterbirds slips into my dream
My feet betray the ground
Seeds sprout on my head
I gaze at my lonely back

回到树巢。修筑小木屋
与穿草裙的土著女人
过狩猎日子。水鸟盘旋
翅膀拍打。岩石空鸣

Return to the nest. Build a little cabin
Live a hunting life with a native woman
Who wears a grass skirt. Waterbirds circle
And flap their wings. Rocks echo

木屋四周的地下水
滋养森林，汇流大海
水鸟的声音响彻远方
路的远方指向大海

The underground water around the cabin
Nourishes forests, and flows into the sea
The sound of waterbirds resounds into the distance
Where the road points to the ocean

土著女人的草裙
长出青草。儿女成群
鱼咬碎天空和飞翔
水鸟的声音滑进梦想

Upon the skirt of the native woman
Green grass grows many a son and daughter
Fish in flight chew the sky
The sound of waterbirds slips into my dream
_________________

[星子]

谢谢Lake!

very good try.
_________________

[[ANNA]]

谢谢Lake!

very good try.
_________________

[何均]

问好星子.

感谢Lake!
_________________
何均

[[我还没有昵称]]

问好星子.

感谢Lake!
_________________
何均

[Lake]

问好何均。

收集了一些反馈，看来主要是对诗歌本身的看法，贴到这，供大家讨论。

this was indeed like entering a dream! very subconscious, very powerful and entrancing! wow!

--douglas

This is most enchanting and surreal!

I especially liked this bit-

And flap their wings. Rocks echo

The underground water around the cabin

-for its line break, which works almost like onomatopoeia.

--spud

Lake,

this is filled with life and a dreaming intensity. I loved it, the repetition felt good not burdensome, and it was filled with a lyrical intensity. Enjoyed.

Many Thanks,

--Dr. Con

Wonderful!

My feet betray the ground
Seeds sprout on my head
I gaze at my lonely back

Return to the nest. Build a little cabin
Live a hunting life with a native woman
Who wears a grass skirt.

I love it! I also like the form of this poem and how the first and last lines repeat.

--Tonyv

[[Lake]]

问好何均。

收集了一些反馈，看来主要是对诗歌本身的看法，贴到这，供大家讨论。

this was indeed like entering a dream! very subconscious, very powerful and entrancing! wow!

--douglas

This is most enchanting and surreal!

I especially liked this bit-

And flap their wings. Rocks echo

The underground water around the cabin

-for its line break, which works almost like onomatopoeia.

--spud

Lake,

this is filled with life and a dreaming intensity. I loved it, the repetition felt good not burdensome, and it was filled with a lyrical intensity. Enjoyed.

Many Thanks,

--Dr. Con

Wonderful!

My feet betray the ground
Seeds sprout on my head
I gaze at my lonely back

Return to the nest. Build a little cabin
Live a hunting life with a native woman
Who wears a grass skirt.

I love it! I also like the form of this poem and how the first and last lines repeat.

--Tonyv

[Lake]

Lovely poem.

As if drawn on a golden curtain
Two waterbirds take flight
Toward one destination.

Kenneth O. Hanson, THE DISTANCE ANYWHERE.

--Nick Tselepides

So nice poem And this piece is my favorite

Upon the grass skirt of the native woman
Green grass grows many a son and daughter
Fish in flight chew the sky
The sound of waterbirds slips into my dream

It's brilliant

--Aleksandr

[[Lake]]

Lovely poem.

As if drawn on a golden curtain
Two waterbirds take flight
Toward one destination.

Kenneth O. Hanson, THE DISTANCE ANYWHERE.

--Nick Tselepides

So nice poem And this piece is my favorite

Upon the grass skirt of the native woman
Green grass grows many a son and daughter
Fish in flight chew the sky
The sound of waterbirds slips into my dream

It's brilliant

--Aleksandr

[何均]

Lake费心了．
_________________
何均

[[我还没有昵称]]

Lake费心了．
_________________
何均