Yesterday's workshop and the textbook plan
星期三 六月 27, 2007 10:34 am
Yesterday I invited Terry to be our guest to join TOPS workshop.
After the event finished, I asked his feedback, He was very glad to join and also ranked our poems and each unique style on our way home.
I was glad he was very honest and gave very detail to my style.
I brought two poems to read: One, Indigo Night, another, Garage Sale. They all agreed the first was my comfortable style, very beautiful and charming, The second had good content and meaning but need more polish and refine.
Decades pass.
Last night,
Over the line,
I heard you again.
Through blue waves,
I was listening,
And trembling with ache.
--indigo splashed along
faraway memory.
Breezes come and go.
sunflowers wither and bloom,
Your words settled as seeds,
left to tell--with sunlight.
As for the first one, I concerned about the tense mixed.
They said it depended.
As the first line: Decades pass. (It implies the time passes as the fact)
but if it is: Decades past. (It implies you were waiting and decades past. so it is up to what you want to say. For me, since my old friend called me 10 years later in my surprise, so it should be: Decades pass... since I was not waiting for his call...)
Another tense mix is the last verse:
They think it works, since this could be the fact...and the impact to you later on....
So the line:
Your words settle as seeds
or Your words settled as seeds
both works.
Later I commented, when I wrote it like this, I just felt it needed to be like this but I could not tell why...
so after the workshop, I know why and I understand myself more. Great!
As for the textbook of one College, I have translated 6 poems for them and need to translate two more poems and e-mail them with my two poems: the Great Wall & The farewell symphony.
So all will be in Chinese and English. Next week I will work on the format of the textbook and I plan to finish it before I leave Canada.
They plan to print them and bind them as a booklet for student's texbook in early August. After I come back, we will meet again to discuss to have reading session to the students later.
So all is clear and set. I am glad to help them out. In the same time, I also learn a lot. Great!