星子天空

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[  心情: Happy ]

JASON 钢琴考级成绩出来了,,,,94分.
钢琴老师刚打电话来祝贺!

这周学校最后一天,被邀请到校观摩学校颁发奖项. JASON 得了音乐奖. 在才艺表演会上,他表演很成熟老练...他才转到这学校一年, 原学校音乐老师让我们一定好好开发他.在新学校,音乐老师也看到了他的音乐天赋.并且他很乐于助,大家都喜欢他.看到他的成长,很快乐,很自信的男孩!真的很开心.

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If I leave

(1)

Do I really miss you,
or is it because of the falling snow?

The weather forecast
proves its failure.
Perhaps, I really should get
out of the clouded perception?

Bed silently, thoughts fall,
then float and sail beyond if…

Who will cry,
you or my self?

(2)

A few steps to a door,
Or merely a door?

My hands cannot reach,
My minds peek through

Not much left to say
But so much to tell

That in dreams,
That buried fears

3)

We forget the moment,
The past and the future

White like snow-covered soil
Dark and chilly inside

The seeds and roots hardly grow,
They wait . . .

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A Beautiful Smile

Childhood

She wonders if her front teeth don’t look nice. She seldom smiles. Boys never pick flowers for her. She believes it is because of her teeth. She really believes so.

Teenage

Now she is 14. Boys stop chasing her; they stare at her whenever she passes by. She is worried. She wonders if she looks stupid.
One day, she talks with her girl friends. They laugh and reply, Look at you, your body tells. What? She turns to a mirror and sees a different her.
Night falls, a nude her arises; she watches her reddish lips, small yet firm breasts . . . She covers her eyes.

First Love

She turns 18. At her friend’s party, many of her friends already hang out like couples, yet not her, so she retreats to a corner. Outside it is raining and the raindrops falling on windows sound like music. She taps on the window to amuse herself quietly. She doesn’t believe in a wish star any more. Neither tonight. But tonight is so different, tonight there is a stranger silently watching her. His deep and soft eyes sparkle like blue stars. Blue stars . . . She suddenly feels dazzling. She returns him a shy smile, a smile slowly blooms . . . For years, she remembers his first words, you really have a beautiful smile . . .

Wedding

It is her day, finally! All of her family and friends are happy - Her long love journey soon will be closed with a ring. She smiles to everyone, but secretly misses those blue stars. Many come to her and make their toast with their wine, she smiles and turn to her newly-wedded hubby, he drinks a lot. It is his day too.

First Child

Holding her child’s soft body, she believes she is the luckiest person in the world. She cannot help kissing her baby hundreds of time a day. At night, she starts to smile and laugh a lot in her dreams. Her baby becomes the whole life of her.
Dental braces
She sees her daught an image of herself, yet more attractive and more pretty. She makes sure her daughter’s teeth nicely braced, fearing that she too miss her wish stars.

Chaos

Layoffs, housework, quarrels, worries, loneliness . . . She needs a therapist but she still keep smiling.

Graduation ceremony

It is her daughter’s day, she smiles. Witnessing her high school graduation ceremony, she is proud of her. Her daughter waves to her, she waves back.
Watching her big and bright smile, she smiles too, Sweetie, Life is a long journey; it just starts. But at lease, you truly have a beautiful smile . . . She feels relieved.

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June 21

3:52PM

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想下载的可以从这里下

http://anna.88just.com/download/poemsforQuake.exe

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母亲，你在老屋子里留下了什么?
文/ 玫瑰之冢

你从容的把剩下的饭菜放入冰箱中，把胖胖的口粮
一点点拨入它碗里。它很安静，老朽的样子，颓废的毛
它把舌头挂在嘴外，鼻翼轻触，它打着呼噜，它把
时间很妥当的挡在眼皮之外。它的幸福显得理所当然

母亲，你去了屋前的小树林，你把手伸向粗糙的树干
你小心的抚摸着它的身体，它尚年青，但苦涩的味道已
逐渐弥漫整片树林。它们再不能听到一个胖老头儿的
口哨声。它们把自己的听觉丢给了泥土还有咫尺之遥
尚未坍塌的废墟里。母亲，你该熟悉这里每个转角的
石桌与长椅的，它们上面还沾染着壮硕老头儿的味道

多么干燥，没有一丝雨的消息。棱叶龙舌兰愤怒的粉
无可选择。它本想更鲜艳，更招摇，更具备狂蜂浪蝶
喜爱的姿态，可是它只能在寂静的房台上听风，把蕊
吐露的更长些，让尚存的阳光轻易刺入内部，搅起
一场静寂至死的风暴。

母亲，你该在黄昏时刻准时回来，将沾染指印的眼镜
擦拭干净。晃动未来临，在旧衣柜前可以站立的更久些
被反复翻动的衣物中，有哪些是属于那个吹口哨的
胖老头儿

--
Mother, What have you left in our old house?
Poem by Rose's Tomb
Translate by Anna Yin


Mother, you calmly put the leftover meal into the refrigerator,
then little by little you scrape the dog food into Fatty’s bowl.
Fatty is very quiet, pretty-old with fading hair.
As usual, his tongue hangs from his mouth;
his nostrils shake and he snores.
The outside world perfectly shaded away from his eyelids.
His happiness appears so natural.

Mother, you enter the small woods before our house,
your hand outstretched, caressing the rough bough.
You stroke the tree; its bough is still young
yet its bitter and astringent flavor has filled the air
and it gradually spreads among the entire woods.
They would never hear a fat old man whistling again.
They lost their own sense of hearing
among the ruins nearby and the soil beneath.
Mother, you should be familiar with this, familiar with
the stone tables and benches in each corner. On the surface,
there still remains that old husky man's smell.

The air is dry, there isn’t a single rain message.
The maguey does not have a choice. It intends to be brighter, wilder,
with the posture of deep affection for passion,
but it can only listen to the wind on the silent balcony, unveiling
its pistil longer to let the sunlight prick easily and stir a death-like silent storm.

Mother, you should come back punctually in the dusk,
you should rub off the fingerprints from your eyeglasses.
Before the quake approaches, you should stand
in front of the old closet longer, thinking among the flipped-over clothes,
pondering which belong to that whistling fat old man.

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A nightingale flew inside my cage -
last night,
he didn’t fly away;
he knew me better than others,
and stayed.

The whole night
he sang the only song,
his voice drained.

Why? I asked,
warm palms baited with
a few wheat grains.

Come, take some,I cooed.
But my voice too shallow,
and his head too proud to lower.

I turned,
caught my own shadow,
too heavy to lift.

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I shall spin,
In or Out,
The invisible axis
Get thin

Universe gracefully unveil

A
Nightingale
Nests
Among stars


----
Paul wrote a poem based on my name: Anna
I think it is an interesting practice, so I wrote this.
Anna's name meaning: graceful
my chinese pen names: stars

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Sometimes I dare not to think of you
The past tense aching
There were many mistakes to recall
Yet haven't been settled in our present life

How I wish all were dreams, nightmares
Perhaps, scary minds and chilly night

Many hands stretching out and holding on
Many faces bruised and bleeding
How I wish I could touch and warm

But voice falling nowhere, stars shattered,
Shadow follows

If I dare to re-traverse the place where you were,
All pains I hope to soothe, yet all in the past,
And ache forever

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http://www.coviews.com/viewtopic.php?t=38772

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Last week, I printed a few China earthquake photo and the online donation link.
In the event of my son's basketball, I handed them out.

One coach got it and read it and comment on it, "So many nature disasters..."
His mention of Myanmar trigged me to think.

Yes, before china earthquake, there were other nature disasters like Myanmar: Cyclone Nargis.
I didn't print any news about it. never mention to hand them out.
Most Canadian are very generous and kind. They like to help others when needed.
When I hand out these prints, they think of a bigger world which I fail to see.
They feel mercy for all living things.

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These weeks I am very busy. Today after Jason's school event, while I was listen to my son's piano, I fell into sleep.
He brought a blanket and softly covered me. I pretended not knowing, but I was very happy for what he did.
Jason's name has a meaning: Healer. He has a kind heart and warm character which wins him many friends.
Sometimes I should learn this from him since I seem to be too rigid. But the good thing is I am changing too.
I become relax and smile a lot. I slow down and don't push too much. It really helps.
Sometimes I am busy with my job, but I will do what I can and leave worry behind. Last week, I met my previous colleague, she said I looked great and much energetic.
Although I am busy with many things all the time, I learn to decline a few things if I feel too much.
In April, for our local May's ART FEST, they arranged a few readings for me. I am glad to not book too full.
In May, Terry helped me a lot and I learnt a lot from him.
My friends, Doug, Paul, Cheryl also helped me a lot.
I hope I can talk with my old friends or new friends since I do care for them. But sometimes my conversations over the phone are too vague and plain.
One night, Terry brought a new friend to talk with us. We talked till 12:00PM. She said she was pleased to meet us but after I came home, I thought I talked too much and listened too little.
I do hope I am a good listener. To be friends, sometimes you only need to listen.
I am glad my old friends listen to me and encourage me to be myself and lead my life in this healthy and happy way.
I thank them and hope I will be a good listener too to support their life.

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郎咸平：赈灾捐款引发的历史文化反思
http://www.coviews.com/viewtopic.php?t=38524

南方都市报：“地震湖”溃决的历史警示http://www.coviews.com/viewtopic.php?t=38523

殇——一个土木工程师的忏悔
http://www.coviews.com/viewtopic.php?t=38475

5.12_Sichuan_Earthquake 幻灯片
http://www.coviews.com/viewtopic.php?t=38500

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Friday's night, I was invited to read poem on the Streetsville ARTS FEST to celebrate Streetsville 150 years.

Saturday's Microsoft Professional Meeting was very powerful and creative.

Sunday I read "help them" poem about China earthquake and other poems too in ARTS FEST events.

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Jason learnt about earthquake from his science class. These days, he heard it a lot from the news. But he still could not imagine how tragedy it is. And I prefer not to tell him or let him see sometimes how cruel the real life is. He seems to know a little bit of death. And he always fears if I will die and leave him behind. Many times he asks me, “When will you die? I don’t want you to die.” His eyes are full of tears. I hold him and say, “I will never die.”
“Everyone will die one day.” He says.
“Then, I will die when I am ninety-nine-year old. There is a long way to go.” I try to distract him, and ask, “At that time, how old will you be?”
He calculates, and then says, “Sixty-nine.”
“See, then you are much old and you will have your family.” I smile.
Sometimes we think death is too far from us, but who knows? It may occur every minute.
So I treasure each day and try to embrace every moment. But I also prepare to donate my organs anytime when I die, thus I filled a form and on my health card, there is a sign: Donor. I want to live well when I am alive, and when I die, I want my organs to help others to live well.
I have not told Jason about this, I don’t want him to think of death.
I always encourage him to donate money or toys to his school and other events.
I want him to know that sometimes to give is much happier than to get. He sometimes doesn’t want to give out his toys since he is still fond of them. But I want him to know that sometimes we must let go.
I want him to feel their joy when others play his toys and I want him to think what he gives makes a difference. And he gets toys, books from others too.
In his age, life is full of promises and wonders.
I pray for all the children to live well and have dreams.

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有时两三天联络不上....真担心!

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Our words aching,
Yet cannot soothe their pain;
Our voices anxious,
Yet cannot pull them out.
Lives buried under the rubbles,
souls suffered among earthquakes.

What have they done to deserve this?
What hope can they grasp?
thousands of lives,
thousands,
still in their childhood,
each, a flower bulb,
each, a promising blossom,
just a few days ago,
just a few days ago!

Now they are buried in the debris!

With broken hearts,
our hands dig the cruel and cold fact,
with helpless tears,
we hear their crying from underground!

Help them,
Help them,
God, and gods!


---------to help China Earthquake relief ----
To donate to relief efforts visit:

Canadian Red Cross

World Vision Canada

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孩子,你还好吗?
白天已听不到你的哭唤,
远隔太平洋的黑夜,
在梦里，
我听见你的哭泣.

孩子,
我多么想牵你的手。
隔着黑夜,
隔着海洋，
温暖着你。
呵护着你.

孩子,请不要哭,
所有的气力请你
用来等待,
那些希望,
你听到了吗?
有无数双手在废墟中
不停息地挖掘，
有无数颗心
在为你祈祷.
在找寻着每一个你.

孩子,
你能看见
今晚的月光吗?
看见今夜
我们点亮着烛光，
一行又一行,
照亮你回家的路。
孩子，快点回来，
孩子，平平安安！
让我们一起祈祷，
一起祈祷！

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加拿大红十字会捐款步骤说明: https://www.paypaq.com/redcross/new/index.php 记住要选第5项：China Earthquake，还有，Street No. 和Street Name是分开的

[中国红十字会捐款账号] 开户单位:中国红十字会总会。人民币开户行:中国工商银行北京分行东四南支行，人民币账号:0200001009014413252；外币开户行:中信银行酒仙桥支行，外币账号:7112111482600000209。(热线电话8610-65139999) 网上捐款:www.redcross.org.cn-->捐款热线

http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_22644.aspx

To donate to relief efforts visit:

Canadian Red Cross

World Vision Canada

Bank of China - Canadian branches
Acct#04009072

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一直都很忙. 最近朋友一个剧本中需要一家华人移民家庭,希望我和儿子上镜. 我带儿子去试听了,开始答应了,回来仔细查自己时间表,发现我们都太忙,所以推辞了. 我想有时什么事都想做,反而做不好,所以我想集中精力做一两件事. 这样也好,心情舒畅轻松一些.
前些天,开会眼睛都有点架不住. 好在我们队友都很好,大家都很理解.

前两天朋友和我谈起,其实那些疑心病很重的人是自己害自己. 正好我也读了这一段, 同感, 拿出来分享一下.

Buddha said, those who harm themselves through their thoughts, words or actions are indeed their own worst enemies. They only bring themselves suffering. We usually think our suffering is caused by others. But out of our forgetfulness, anger or jealousy, we say or do things that create suffering for ourselves and others.

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今天来添点杂七杂八....

前几天国内老同事来加,聚了一下,一聊,世界又大变. 一两年的光景,人各纷飞,回来感慨不停.

这几天在自家后院种了一棵樱桃树, 今年结几颗,就心满意足了.
苹果树有几年了, 去年结了不少,却个个有虫子,还都长不大,都掉了喂野兔. 希望今年不生虫.

种了几年的葡萄,据说很甜,可惜总在之前,就被鸟全吃了

后院再过去是小路,对过一条溪的那户年年后院种满了郁金香,真好.
我家前院的也要开了.

邻居很好玩,随便挖了个坑,种下一个梨核,居然现在差不多和我一样高了.开满了花. 今年应该结果了...到时尝一尝.

DOUG 说他在F.L. 有很大很大的花园,要我去看看,发了不少照片,实在漂亮. 计划冬天全家去,顺便去迪斯泥乐园...

和表弟聊了几句,叫他健身,他说终于今年去休假了,几年都忙得顾不上...现在后悔没有多休休.

是,年轻时,不能光想着钱和事业的,,,

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Painted by Pinar Paputc


other beautiful arts

vhttp://www.art.com/asp/display-asp/_/id--1949/pg--10/Romance_Love.htm

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On Saturday Poetry Event, we had a poet who belonged to an community organization which dealed with marriage issues.

She played the movie which they did group counselors for married couples. It involved different background couples and mixed culture.
It was very interesting. Craig, who sit beside me, said many years ago, they also looked for the help from counselors and it worked.
He encouraged this kind of movie to spread the meaning of communication which was crucial to a family.

Some of my western friends told me it worked, but some of my Chinese friends said no use.

I had a conversation with a social worker, she told me basically they just listened to the people, identify the problem. Sometimes they work as a bridge for the couple to communicate.

I guess Asian couples fear to open themselves up, so the real communication is not build, that is why they feel this kind of tool is no use.


Lately I also doubt what the message I pass on to my son. I always ask him if he enjoys school, or the events which he attends.

I don't know if it gives him the wrong impression that for life, the only purpose is to be happy. If so, I think I make a mistake. Because in real life, when he grows up, there are many huddles lay ahead. Sometimes he needs to endure, not just to pursue happiness.
if in his mind, happiness is supposed to be in the life, then he will be very disappoint for the real life.

As parents, we surely want our children to be happy, but I think we should not emphases it so much.

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迁徙
(空灵部落)


途中一地的羽毛
我知道那样的飞翔
从我的心底，挣扎着
挣扎着他的梦想，被雪覆盖了

但是你是知道的
我每一次呼唤，都是从我的心灵深处
在向你表白，表白我的爱
只是藏得太深了
有点和风细雨的样子

当然你并不知道
我在想你，想你芙蓉的风景
我还在池塘边，一圈圈地散步
但我还是没有开口，说我爱你

真的，也就让它埋在泥里
我就这样独自成长，长成藕断丝连的七个孔
在我想你的时候，就探出我的相思
在夜晚开出，独艳的荷花

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唐先生是湖南人, 我也是,对湖南人我比较了解,我的堂哥表姐们胆大诚实,敢想敢做,在本地和外地都做得很成功.

唐先生最近几年做了不少实事,比如雪灾捐款以及这次华人集会等等.出钱出力不少, 但因此也引来不少非议. 难为他了.

好朋友曾经劝我,这世上,小人不可得罪. 明枪易躲,暗箭难防.虽然很多湖南人凭着一股勇气,不怕这些,可是在很多实际工作,很多琐碎的事和非难是最难缠的. 我衷心希望唐先生的勇气和魄力真正为人们理解,我也希望更多的人一起来做实事,不要把担子寄予一两个人的身上.
这样我们的华人社区才真正有希望,这样我们的声音才真正能传播出去.

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真想和人聊天....

差点没守住.

只好看书,听蝶,没有写的欲望和灵感

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约 LILY 一起.

想起在珠海时,也是我拉她们去跳舞的...

Suzanne 说我是passionate, she loves poetry and began to write is because of me. She felt how happy and content I was so she could not help trying the same.



可惜更多的朋友住得远了,玩不到一起.

本来时间就少,所以只有抓一点是一点. 一次两三个小时.

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不过没时间写

好在还是一个开心知足的我

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无可耐何...

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这个月接到的邀请太多,不得不推掉几个.

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Dear Anna,

Your Mirror poem is a short but pensive and poignant collage. It is also an intriguing opus about shared solitude and suffering. However, it reveals less than it hides. Mirror poems are miraculous portals of the poet's identity, of self and soul. They also represent an entire genre in themselves.

Now, before I go further, let me point out that as far as I am concerned, I do not trust mirrors. They are hopelessly incorrigible liars. They shrink you, enlarge you, and distort you. They reverse your reflection from right to left. Just show a written page to the mirror, and you immediately see what I mean. Besides, no two mirrors are the same; regardless whether they are concave or convex, or ordinary flat surface mirrors. They are all different. And they always contradict you. For example, if you point your finger horizontally toward the north, perpendicular to its plane, the mirror will point to the south.

Actually, what we see in the mirror is not an exact reflection but an image modified by our perception of ourselves. We project our thoughts and feelings on mirrors. People with eating disorders, for example, tend to see their reflected image in the mirror fat, even if they are slim. Due to the intense fear of becoming obese, they perceive themselves overweight in spite of being emaciated. The vast majority of anorexic-bulimic persons are young women from middle and upper class families. They are victims of a cruel society obsessed with debased views of youth and sadistic contempt of aging, immersed in a sick culture that does not respect women and dehumanizes womanhood.

Culture is complex, of course, but in this Machiavellian environment also a cunning conspiracy exists between the entertainment industry and the fashion establishment, between promoters of diet fads, pharmaceutical corporations and medical clinics who unscrupulously brainwash people that something is wrong with their appearance. Thousands of plastic surgeons perform every year millions of liposuctions, face lifts, nose jobs, breast augmentations and other operations. Most of their patients are women, who stand more and more time in front of their slyly concurring mirrors.

But let us go back to poetry. Generally speaking, a poem does not attempt to exhaust its topic. In the particular case of your Mirror, perhaps we even might ask: Is less more? What I mean is this: How does the poem gain weight by connecting your own reflections with the tragedy of Plath and Atwood's fascination with mirrors?

I am not calling here for changing the verse, because I believe in the author's authority (please, see page 51 in my collection of Postmodern Light), regarding the correspondence between intention and expression. Revisions are double edged swords: sometimes they improve the piece, sometimes they weaken it.

Western art, including poetry and literature, is obsessed with a confused postmodern perspective of meaninglessness, nihilism, despair, malice and venom, eventuating in the the culture of drugs and death.

Personally, I am attracted more to your poems than to those of Plath, Atwood and many other North-American writers. Why? Because your gracefully sensitive voice, your mystical Taoist outlook on the world, intertwined with Confucian wisdom, bring a flowering high noon antidote to western decadence.

It is good to grow and evolve, but does every direction of change benefit us all the same? I do not subscribe to the credo of cultural relativism, which ironically concludes that all societies and cultures are equal. Cannibalism still exists in some parts of the world. The West had practiced slavery, witch burning, and its modern dictators murdered countless millions of people. India is a remarkable ancient civilization but it has had a tradition of burning widows. And before the East became red, many Chinese parents deformed their daughters' feet in order to increase their wedding marketability by means of a bizarre sex appeal. In brief, cultures and societies are not equal.

Canada is a fascinating mosaic of provinces and communities, a relatively young country, which became a confederation only in 1867. It is a sterling parliamentary democracy with a high quality of life. But when it comes to culture—to paraphrase the lament of a critic from The Montreal Gazette -- Canada is a land of whisky and hockey, rather than a country of art and poetry.

On the other hand, you come from a marvelous ancient land with a grand poetic heritage. China is a country with at least 5,000 years of continuous civilization, fabulously rich in art, refined and sophisticated in culture. In the Shi Jing, or Book of Odes, there are poems that are probably older than Homer’s Odyssey. And in contrast to the antagonistic individualism and competitive conflicts that characterize life in Canada, the Chinese people are known for their spirit of team cooperation, aspiration for social concordance and collective harmony.

You carry within you a pristine magical world, a spiritual extension of the Great Wall as a majestic symbol spanning continents, bridging past, present and future:

Upon my heart, the Great Wall
is an eternal home,
crossing over the Pacific Ocean.
My offspring will follow its beckoning
towards a root-searching return (1).

In order to contrast your poignantly lofty, soul uplifting oeuvre against the voices of existential angst and despair as the hollow backdrop of Canadian literature, I would like to use the example of Margaret Atwood. Although she is a toweringly gifted writer, her main forte lays in the mastery of the language, in the domain of aesthetics, rather than in the power of her arguments, the validity of her message, or the persuasiveness of her vision. Her excessive preoccupation with form and deconstruction obfuscates content and meaning in her work.

The deconstructionist ambiguity of Atwood’s writings is a telltale hallmark of postmodern art. Deconstruction denies the possibility of point to point communication between author and reader. It claims that the meaning and the significance in the writer’s constructed text are always altered through the deconstructing interpretation of the reader. Thus the reader is as much a creator as the author. Consequently, communicating coherent meaning is impossible.

While it is certainly true that communication always involves the possibility of misinterpretation, extreme deconstructionist theory does not really hold water. If effective human communication were impossible, the astonishingly complex operation of landing the astronauts on the moon could not have been accomplished.

My basic criterion for judging the value and significance of art is tied to its life serving function. Atwood herself says that art is not for its own sake, or for the sake of morality, but for “survival’s sake”. She examines human history and discovers its bloody cycles of violent calamities. According to her she wrote the dystopic novels of The Handmaid’s Tale and Oryx and Crake as cautionary tales for our inevitable apocalyptic future of self annihilation through the abuse of science and technology.

Although we have to differentiate between the beliefs of fictional characters in a novel versus the author’s own views, I find Atwood’s vision of history misguided. What is worse, her fundamental message as a visionary writer ironically backfires because of her non sequitur panic and hopelessness. Is it really the destiny of the human race to destroy itself? If there is no hope of survival in the future, why should we struggle at all? To prevent the inevitable apocalypse? I reject not only the depressing vision of a hopeless human future but also the homogenously repulsive climate of her dystopias, which on the whole dehumanize women and demonize men.

In spite of the fact that history is filled with darkness, violent tragedies and wars, it is a story of light, accomplishments and periods of peace as well. I believe that through collaboration, goodwill and harmony among the nations we are capable to avoid a spiraling deterioration of the human condition. Just as humans are capable of waging wars, they are also capable of making peace.

I take it for granted that women have equal rights to men. I also believe that peace on earth cannot be achieved without the elevation of women. However, human happiness cannot be divided into separate realms of female and male domains. Individual happiness can be achieved only through the collective efforts and collaboration of man and women.

Generally speaking in many respects women appear to be wiser than men. I believe that women have a higher sense of care for others, as well as a higher level of emotional and social intelligence. They really should hold key positions in every field of life in greater numbers.

And this brings me back to Atwood. Reflected in a feminist mirror, her characters are often men portrayed as rapists, predatory aggressors, violent misogynists and evil murderers of women:

The men of the town stalk homeward,
Excited by their show of hate,
Their own evil turned inside out like a glove,
And me wearing it (2).

Her Half-Hanged Mary is inspired by a real event during the Salem Witch Trials of the 1690s. However, Atwood distorts history by presenting this case as evidence of a war of men against women. She withholds the fact that men and even children became victims of witch hunts; and that women also participated in the persecutions of witches. Her approach to history reminds me Mark Twain’s comment: The truth is a most precious commodity, let’s economize it. So, Atwood’s poem emerges as a well-written propaganda piece advancing feminist agendas. Ironically, it is politically correct but historically false.

Unfortunately, within the context of North-American literature Margaret Atwood has contributed to the postmodern outlook of despair and hopelessness. Her poetic voice also has deepened the discordance between men and women, furthering their alienation. It undermines social harmony.

The truth is a sacred domain of the poet, yet nonetheless poetry is full of lies. This paradoxical Yin-Yang polarity is its necessary attribute because poetry expresses all aspects of existence, earth and sky, matter and mind, reality and dream, cosmos and soul.

I find your mirrors more fascinating than those of Atwood, Plath and other poets of despair. In contrasts to their depressive verses, your poetry moves, inspires and uplifts. You sing about poplars, dandelions and moonlight, memories and dreams, joys and sorrows in a magical voice that transcends the here and now.

Yet the fall cannot stop its footsteps,
And descends into the dark night.
I stand like a beacon.
Light travels to shine on the faraway road.
I won’t believe—
We cannot arrive in spring (3).


And with its sober sadness, the touching melancholic tone of your poem, When I die, celebrates life even in death:

My grave will open its sliding tunnel,
For a butterfly to flutter to the moon,
When lavenders swing in evening primroses,
A wish star shall land in your dream (4).


Your heartfelt words and thoughtful lines transport me from the mundane world to a spiritual cosmos. They create unbounded bridges between finite matter and infinite soul, suspended in the ethereal sphere of the transitory past and the eternal present.

There must be something
Beneath the snow,
When quiescence dominates mountains,
Squirrels clutch pinecones,
And I watch you from a distance (5).



Well, Sweet Anna, at this point I stop.

May you go from strength to strength!

Paul

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Since I need to prepare a list of questions for my interview with James Deahl, I asked Jason for his opinion.

My purpose was to make him think and also be proud of himself that he could help. Indeed he took it very serious and made up ten questions. The following is:

What kind of poetry do you read?

What kind of styles do you write?

How do you decide the title of poems?

Do you write the title of poetry first or last?

Do you have clues of poetry? If you do, are they from your other poetry?


How much time does it take you to write your poetry?

Do you put some picture in your poetry?

Is the nature inspiring you to write poetry about them?

Do your friends give you ideas of poetry? Who influence you most?
Do you write characters in your poetry?

It was a good way to learn for both of us. I will show this with our other questions to James. I was curious at how he will reply to a seven-year-old kid.

I also have other events need to attend, a friend asked us to perform a Chinese family in a play. I thought it was a good opportunity for Jason too. Anyway, he is smart and gorgeous. I am sure he can do this.

Paul asked me for co-author a poetry book and he is willing to pay me for translation. I am glad for his trust and friendship.

There are also other excited news coming too, one of my poems is on final list and they will send the book to me. “Tides’ Message” is in Poetry of Love book. Soon I will get the book too.

Jason’s concert is scheduled next week. He joined a new basketball Club and enjoyed it very much.

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女人篇　
1)
做一个女人
你听见了，
做他的女人，
赤裸而纯粹。

而你如是？
你用层层镜子
装饰自己

他从来没有
裸露你
如此
底深。。。。。。

2)
他看不见那些空
你住进去，
那个生命，他所创建的

他成为上帝
你只是伊娃
3）
再吹一口气，
你就活了，成了水，
柔得看不见骨头，
全融入盛你的容器里。

千万别打破了
栖身的容器，
覆水难收，
即使收回，
那些仅存的
也回不到自己。
4)
精致的玻璃瓶,
时间停驻里面,
你取暖于一颗灯芯,
一点点拨亮它的光明.

前方是那么遥远,
黑暗是一道风景.
5)
橱窗里一摆
经年；
光洁如旧。

薄薄的心事
愈发薄了。

阳光射不到的角落，
五味打翻—
手印也留不下。

古老的秘语，
他不说，
你也不说

这组诗歌是我整理旧作,发现以前写的关于女人的几个可以连在一起而组成的....虽然每个是在不同时间写的. 但在一起可以表现女人变化多端以及内心世界的对话. 但我用序号分隔让每段可以独自抽取出来成诗. 在一起时则起到过渡和跳跃的作用. 让故事有阶段性,连续性,发展性, 同时表现女人的心路变化和命运的可控和不可控之感. 而每节独立来读和回味时,又可以用我,你和他等转换诗中的角色来读, 这样一来却也有别样的风味.

比如
1)

Be woman, I hear you,
Be Your Woman,
naked and pure

But am I?
I clothe myself in mirrors

You never unclothe me
that deep


2)
You didn't see the emptiness
I lived in
that life he created in me

You become the God
me, Eve


We also can try the similar change for another verse to feel how its meaning changes.

. . . . . . . (以下以后补充)

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Now they all come to see you
and say nice words they never think of.

Their deep remorse confuses you,
What do they regret?

But you only regret
a simple fact:
one battle seems to be a century long.
Who won?
you close your eyes.

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You paint these tiny stamps
for me, a far end friend,
open and fold many thoughts
inside

I shall frame them on my silent wall,
let moon shed light on each
Venus and Mars
ride along your beautiful dream


---note:

Today I received Paul's mail. He sent me two hand-colored prints, made as square of stamps. I wrote this to thank him.

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You never told me
how wild I was
On the far end
you called me
a rosy lotus

I did bloom once
upon the glistening pond
the clouds and fog
arose in your eyes
I turned
petals shattered

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James Deahl invited me to read my poems on Poetry Month event in Hamilton at Blue Angel gallery. It will be Sunday April 13. Since I never meet him in person and I hope to interview him, so I accepted his invitation and asked if we could do the interview too. Two years ago, I received James' email and he asked me to write a book review for his translation of Chinese poems. I wondered how he could translate Chinese traditional poems into English while he didn't know Chinese. After I read his book and in his preface, I found the answer. Here is my review on his book.

http://www.coviews.com/viewtopic.php?t=21837&highlight=James+Dea

Now, since I plan to interview him, so I want to prepare a few questions about his translation and his opinion of chinese poems and western poems. I also need to get known him more, I find the following information. I post it here and hope anyone who is interested in it, also provide your questions, so I could make a list of questions for the interview. I will update it soon.

http://www.danforthreview.com/features/interviews/remembering_purdy.htm

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(2007年四月)

从去年开始，每年四月我更忙了。并不是因为四月是加拿大" 人人皆知" 的报税月，而是诗人们都传颂的国家诗歌月。
美国四月也同样是国家诗歌月，这时的我会天天收到诗歌活动和动态，精神极其雀跃，春天提早地来到我的心里。
每年此时本地诗人组织会安排很多读诗和评诗活动，在图书馆、学校、书店等公众场所。主要由自己报名和邀请两种方式。电台也会推出丰富多彩的节目，比如访谈，诗歌竞赛。。。 突然间，你会奇怪地收到CBC 电台的短信，给你10 个很不相干奇怪的词汇，要你两天内写出一首诗歌参赛。 还有其他许多有创意的活动，所以我很兴奋，也很紧张。
前不久我参加了Ellen 举办的诗歌作坊(poetry workshop) 。所有参加者被要求由一个很简单的句子，比如： she walks into the room 。一分钟内诠释出有意思的有创意的任何句子。然后大家依次读出，互相了解不同的思维和想象力。
当读到我写的："The blue angel descends in unfolding sheer wings into a glass- circling room on the top hill 。"
我听到一片"哇" 的声音… 我正想问我是用 "unfolded ，circled" 好呢？ 还是保持原样， Ellen 高兴地说："Anna, Both work. I like "ing" because it gives the impression of "going on and on", more magic and present feeling. Anna, you write it beautifully…"
Ellen 以前并不认识我， 但是课后, ，她鼓励我坚持下去。我说我其实很担心，因为我还是觉得自己英文很吃力，尤其是在说这一方面。 她理解地点点头，"But, I think you have a wonderful talent in writing and poetry; your struggle with the English language is not a handicap, but something that will help you create your own style and imagery."
她建议我可以从事一些文学翻译，更多机会写作。
其实我创作的时间并不长，但我确实把诗歌当自己的孩子或者说情人。从 2003 年开始，我一直坚持，一直很投入。两年不到的时间 ,已有 50多首中英文诗歌在海外发表。 我的英文诗荣获加拿大 2005 年 Ted Plantos 纪念奖。获奖诗歌 Toronto , No More Weeping也 在加拿大国家电台 CBC 播放。 而我从事的电脑职业和文学完全是车牛马不相及的，很多人很奇怪我为何能这样？
缘分吧，我也不知道，我是真的真的喜欢诗歌 。电脑行业最初很吸引我，我不断学习和更新知识。但它并不能走进我内心世界... 而文学不同，她让我感动，让我流泪，让我解放，让我自由...

正如 Emily Diskinson的诗 : A book (一本书 )


There is no frigate like a book
To take us lands away,
Nor any coursers like a page
Of prancing poetry.

This traverse may the poorest take
Without oppress of toll;
How frugal is the chariot
That bears a human soul!
（没有哪个战舰象一本书
可以带我们远离；
没有哪匹骏马 象腾越的诗章。
最贫穷的人也可以不发一文遨游
多么节俭 ,这样的战车承托着人的灵魂）

很多没有相同的经历的人是难以感受我的这份痴心。 Ellen 感受了，她说从我一进来，她就能觉察我对此的激情 (Passion) 。
诗歌对于我确实是 我的朋友和导师，倾听我，并照亮我。
我感到诗歌融入到我的内心，我的想象中，就像低语的微风，和热烈开放的花儿。他们居于我心深处，我所做的不过是揭开一层面纱，展示他们。
我很庆幸我能这么快找到自己的激情.
相比今天，很多移民总是抱怨自己对任何东西失去兴趣，没有激情。我真的想邀请他们去看看我们每月的诗评活动。最大的 80岁，每次开一个小时的车程赶来。
Mark Clement 是我的好朋友也是良师，他是工程师，退休时，他的 老板问他愿不愿意偶尔再继续工作。他们随时欢迎也会报酬丰厚。 Mark 说，" 不！我要把时间留给自己。要继续终身的事业！ " 他的 老板不解：" 还有什么事业？"Mark 说成为一个优秀诗人。
在这群诗人中，我是最年轻的，很多都是退休老师。有时，我和朋友开玩笑，我说， "如果陶渊明在世，我是不是和他一起去南山了？ "
朋友说： "星子, 南山就在你心中。你很幸运，找到了自己的世界和宁静。那里可以很远，也可以很近。。。 "
也许是吧, 两天前, 公司又开始大裁员了, 我们的高层经理也不能幸免. 他叹息道, 这辈子一直在努力, 不停地爬着梯子, 上上下下, 还是难以找到安宁… 记得我所在的讲演俱乐部一个西人做了一个讲演, 说很多加拿大人是为工作而累而活(Live to work), 但是法国人很多却是工作是为了更好地生活(work for living,and enjoy their life). 而我也许永远不能把诗歌当作我的职业, 也许我永远需要我的电脑技能来支持我的生活, 但诗歌却是我自己的世界, 那里我可以梦想远方和安宁.
我写一首诗歌来表达自己的这种心情和平衡:

Bridge

I am really tired
of coding,
that roughage
only machines can chew;

I use it
to exchange what my body wants,
yet write poems
to feed what my soul hunts.

The bridge between them
I call life.

但愿每个人都找到自己的平衡和自己的世界.

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好友说, “论坛要火,还靠吵架”. 这道理很明显, 可是我们并不希望这样.也在避免这样.
因为开吵的几个最终会伤了和气,会架不住围观者的煽风点火或自己的断章曲意来出口伤人. 虽然说论坛是虚拟的世界,但很多人投入的是真实的情感, 我们不希望他们在酷我-北美枫论坛受到无辜的伤害.
所以很多时候我们都希望他们彼此化干戈为玉帛, 不要因为不同意见或误会伤人伤己. 而我们尽量不干预.
拿我自己来说,写诗读诗,我有自己的喜好和偏向, 我也相信每个人有不同的特点. 我不会强求别人理解,或不理解. 既然论坛是个交流的平台,我相信大家都是本着善意的.
所以我会笑对所有回贴. 而我四年的写作之路,确实也得到不少鼓励和鞭策.这些都对我不断坚持和进步起了很大作用. 今天我有很多海内外笔友,真的觉得很值得.
前不久,<<常青藤>>YAO Yuan 说起 文学是一条孤独的路,说很高兴我们能一起继续走下去… 我很喜欢YAO Yuan的散文,那些真实的情感和故事很优美也很伤感,我回她, 我们一起写下去,孤独了,互相问候,互相鼓励吧. 我也感谢<<澳洲彩虹鹰>>对我们论坛的支持. 很感谢Bunny, Elka, Paul and Terry 等对我的鼓励和信心. 我不自信的时候,我总是想想他们对我的信心, 我会鼓励自己路很长, 我会慢慢写下去.
所以我不希望我们的精力放在无关的吵架上,文学这条路已经很孤独了,难道不是吗?

这里我也感谢我的老公默默无闻的支持, 让我能很好平衡家和工作,以及我的梦想.我感谢所有喜欢和爱护我的朋友,也感谢那些批评我的朋友.

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Not ready

A couple came to our house and asked for suggestions on their business.
We talked about economy and their financial situation. Then Jack suggested they began their own new business since they had solid clients in USA. But they replied, “Not ready”. With smile, they continued, “the life here in Canada, we learn the heartfelt helplessness, ‘Not ready’ “.
Ironically in many seminars we joined, the speakers who were life coaches or inspirit leaders always promoted us to jump to a new business or our dreams. They even told many beautiful stories to convince us that the way to success is ahead. But in our heart, we know “Not ready and not really”. When they magnify the positive possibility, we magnify the failure. Our different perceive of the future is because of the fear. We prefer living in our comfort-zone than taking risk. In fact it will never be ready, “Not ready” merely is an excuse.
But we all use it, right?

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1)
做一个女人
我听见了,
做你的女人,
赤裸而纯粹.

而我如是?
我用层层镜子
装饰自己

你从来没有
裸露我
如此
底深. . .

2)
你看不见那些空
她住进去,
那个生命,你所创建的

你成为上帝
她只是伊娃

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Elka’s reading was very good and humorous too. She read a few love poems which she wrote in 1960 when she was in her youth. She laughed that we could imagine how crazy she was. I asked her permission to share one here for your reference.

Upgrade 1960
By Elka Ruth Enola

You are only
an hysterical nightmare
Soon forgotten

He kissed the sun with full true lips
And she comes up screaming red
He fondles the moon with soft brown fingers
And she radiates silver purity

He knows how to live
My god of love
He will cremate you


From Cuba With Love 1985
By Elka Ruth Enola

I bought you
Soft brown
Havana cigars
ggggg Remember me
When you suck
Their luscious warmth
And your tongue
Moves round
The moistened tips
Stroking
Sucking
ggggg Remember me


Elka read 10 more poems, some were sad, others were happy and amusing. I should record them but since on the stage, I didn’t want to disturb her reading, so I thought it was better to do it next time at her house.

Last time I did record some of readings and discussion at the house, but I edited them to only keep the readings. Eric and other friends suggested keeping the whole discussion next time. I agreed. It was very good and informative since the discussion really revealed
Each different view and culture.

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Laura Pausini是当今意大利歌坛最出色的流行歌手.

Laura Pausini - One More Time

Nothing I must do
Nowhere I should be
No one in my life
To answer to but me
No more candlelight
No more purple skies
No one to be near
As my heart slowly dies
If I could hold you one more time
Like in the days when you where mine
I'd look at you 'till I was blind
So you would stay
I'd say a prayer each time you'd smile
Cradle the moments like a child
I'd stop the world if only I
Could hold you one more time
(hmmmmmm)
I've memorized your face
I know your touch by heart
Still lost in your embrace
I'd dream of where you are

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Each month I get email subjected as “The Way to Happiness”. Each week I am stunned by reading the breaking news about another tragedy happened daily. The world surrounding us seems to be negative; sometimes I do feel the need to hold on some solid spiritual help to survive. And I could understand how many others do. The world indeed is changed. I never see my parents depressed even though their life was much tough; they merely made a simple life. Today we make a better living and our kids almost have everything they want. Yet I predict our offsprings much weaker and fragile. I could predict them addict in drugs, self-pity and other emotional broken-down behavior in their late life. I could feel their struggle on uncertainty of themselves. And I could not help them out.
Why the world is produced many more beautiful things, yet it traps more difficulty confront to each of us? Are we changed, or the world?
Everyday, we watch people’s gloomy faces on the way to work or back home. There is subtle sadness or emptiness there. Meanwhile, in the Medias, the celebrities present their paradises, but in real, they live in their shadows too. Are they happy? When now everywhere promote Money and Money, what is the true happiness.

My friends tell me, I am lucky to have my passion and time to pursue my dream. True, I am happier than many others.
But I get through the process of finding happiness in a difficult way, That is why I really would like to share my two cents.
Happiness is an attitude. It is in your heart. You can turn it on or off. I know it is easy to say. But when we all cannot figure out what is the true happiness, why let it bother you, why not just simply be happy, or contented?
When something is beyond touching, then let go of it. The world never falls, only you fall by your consent.

The happiness may not be the destination of our journey, but we still can turn the journey as the happy one, because in the end, we are too late to taste its fruit if it is happiness.

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也许我总是慢一拍,今年才看 “赢在中国”, 一是想放松一下, 也是想看看国内商战如何, 一看还不错的节目,所以把2006年的也翻出来了. 也许今天才看,更有意义.
回头看2006年那时不少入选的项目是网站. 原因是门槛低,成本少, 只要创意好, 定位准,手段灵活多样,是可以很快发展的. 由于有阿里巴巴以及YAHOO等的神话,对很多风险投资商,以及创业者和投资人很是寄予希望. 我们看的时候很是惊讶,因为几个网站项目自称几个月积累用户几百万. 因为我们也做网站,对每天的注册量和访问量比较清楚. 网站初期因为宣传阶段, 注册会多了, 一段时间后,稳定了,注册一般不会急剧增加, 除了搞活动. 当网站有一定规模,黑客反而会频频光顾,那些垃圾注册也会大量定期增加. 真正注重实效的网站会屏蔽这些注册. 国内人多,网民多,但几个月积累几百万还是难以想象.所以我试试GOOGLE 这几个项目的情况,可惜查不到任何消息了? 难道垮了?
看了加拿大的一份小商业调查报告, 每年成立的公司三年后60%不运作了, 六年后能有20%成功就不错了. 看朋友来了几年,工作换了不少, 有时进去三个月,公司就关门了. 所以有时也很佩服创业者的胆量,年轻时失败也是一种财富. 它能更好地教育一个人. 所以看到” 赢在中国”参赛者大多是20-30多岁,应该是希望和激情具备的时候. 其实很多人不适合创业,虽然胆大, 但缺少远见卓识以及沟通处事能力. 不过社会给每个人不同的机会和才能, 尤其在海外,很多这种激发人自己奋斗,为梦追寻的讲座和辅助, 所以出新的思维和各种行业很普遍. Landmark forum 是这样的一个培训中心. 海外还有很多其他的, network marketing 流行了很久,我想中国人再包装来做,会更好. 也是极其有意义的事情.

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Many voices, loud,
approach to declare,
to rise and make judgment

We become ignored --
having been waiting so long,
those thunders lost in the distance . . .

What is useful
to harvest the crops,
when no value left after cutting?

We let go of them
those voices to claim
their victory.

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Paul 的具象诗

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The happiest son, the happiest mom

I must admit I give so much love to my son and he returns the same to me.
We arrange him a lot of activities, such as chess, hockey, basketball, swimming, piano and Chinese besides his homework. He is merely 7 years old. Sometimes I do agree with him, he does not have much time to play. But I want him not only develop the skills of a few sports and music, but also enjoy them. I hope he eventually will appreciate the beauty and the strength from these hobbies. Like me, today I really enjoy writing and reading. They become an important part of me, they complete my life. They are a part of my life.
As adult, we not only need our social roles, but also need to be ourselves.
We need a room for ourselves. We need something to fulfill ourselves.
Though Jason still need my pressure to continue practice his skills, he really enjoy each of these classes. He saw how better he improved through those special classes and he also
Saw how many good competitors there were in each field. He learned to enjoy and make friends. He learned working hard.
I remember when he first joined the basketball club, he was the youngest. Other kids told him, Chinese were no good at basketball. He came back and asked me why they said that.
I told him to go back and to ask them if they know Yao Ming. “He is a Chinese, now one of the best player in USA”
At first, in the team, other kids didn’t want to pass ball to him since he didn’t shoot well. But after half year, now they often pass ball to him. They are friends and team player too.
Besides Jason is good at basketball. Jason has tried soccer at five years old, but I don’t think he will fit it very well. For basketball and piano, I insist him keeping going because I know he has good sense of balance, good bouncing skill and energy, sensitive music ear.
But sometimes it is hard to push since he is still a kid, so we let it be. All these classes
If he can focus two, I think it is good enough. Like myself, I have many hobbies, but eventually I only can focus one or two. The most important is Jason has sense of humor; it is rare in most of kids. He can make friends with anyone. He can make people relax.
I lack this kind of skills; I wish I have it too.
Many friends praise Jason, so gorgeous and polite. Indeed, as a boy, he sure sometimes is naughty, but never make troubles. If I am really mad, he will apology. I always ask him never let small thing ruin his day. And enough is enough, let us be happy and enjoy each minute. We do homework together, he does his, I do mine. (like now, coviews.com or other writing, reading) . We play snow together, we watch TV together. Sometimes, I really think I can be a kid too. The happiest son, the happiest mom.

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最近迷上看”赢在中国”,几十期一一看过,除了他们精彩的竞技,更欣赏节目制作的主旨和公平公正的维护. 对宣扬的创业精神以及做人做事的原则很赞赏.
尤其深有感触的是诚信,这是做任何事的基点. 因为创业是艰辛的,所以也需要
“激情”和”坚持不懈的精神”.
其实这几点也是我们酷我诗评中尤其重要的. “诚信”一直以来是我们提倡的,这里不仅是指信用问题,还有我们特定的文学涵意: 真诚实在, 理性卓智.
这样的文学交流和探讨才能让人信服,才有意义.
说到激情,发挥过度,难免偏跛. 我记得在酷我论坛上碰到的最激情的两个很极端的诗人. 一个是桑林, 一个是荧石. 很有趣的是桑林逢人必赞, 在诗海里,我相信他是最甜言蜜语的,或许说最幸运的,因为他赞美的那些诗篇是出自酷我论坛的很多女神之手(请注意,女神是他说的) 一个人能遇到这么多女神真的应该庆幸.
荧石呢,走的完全是批判路线. 什么诗在他的眼里都不是诗, 拿来就批,所以有自称"诗歌之王”的信心. 他也有诗歌死了的长叹. 当然这是旧话,现在不知两位如何?
看”赢在中国”时,评委很喜欢问的是”你认为自己是天才吗?” 我很想知道如果是他们被问的答案.
还有一点比较赞同评委, “见识有时比学识更重要". 当初中生和美国博士后站在一起PK时,他们无需自卑,每个人有每个人的精彩. 其实在文学的路上尤其如此, 很多文学博士研究成果不错,但写出的文学作品却很失败. 但是因为他们拥有的学历光环,却占据着优势或误导着读者. 很不公平. 但现实有时就是这样,就象 “赢在中国”节目有时也难免.所以会安排调查员和其他规定制度. 大家都是同样的标准和起点.

我自认自己也是很有激情. 但现在理性化了很多. 也理解了成功光靠激情是不行,更需要坚持. 然而这世界也有不少坚持的,到最后还是没有成功的.
“赢在中国”不会告诉我们如何成功的答案, 但我欣赏每个参加者的魄力, 也许每个人在探索中,在寻找中,慢慢会找到自己的所在,人生的意义. 这也许不是他们定义的成功. 但这又何妨? 毕竟他们留下了自己的足迹,他们努力过.

在此,也感谢关心,支持,参与酷我诗评的朋友, 我们一起努力过!

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Love me Tender
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZBUb0ElnNY&feature=related
My heart will go on
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uO_vFuzPJvc


Moonlight Shadow
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bOLkPbPCbk

Yesterday Once More
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5NZI8NmBLA

Morning has broken
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ESHjYat9rk

Don't know much
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5D-PskKmQg

Remember When
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Y4NTXT96EM

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I still don't know how I can keep my passion so long. till now I have been full of dreams and inspirations.
I feel blessed and grateful. Every minute of my life is meaningful that I have the joy to experience it and treasure it. Like from a fountain, I cup each sprinkles and observe its glitter. Sometimes I do have loneliness or hard time to encounter, but they all turn into a special moment for me to think of someone or to recall the good old days.
In TOPS today meeting, one poet was just back from her breast surgeon because of breast cancer. We get together to cheer her up. She said because of the medicine she taken, she felt no ambition. So life was really no color to her. But since her love of poetry, she tried to find her muse to heal her soul. We talked about that for a while, and I told them before I feared bad luck to me. But now I am ok and don’t fear any more. I live in each happy and opositive moment. I don’t let tomorrow’s worry ruin today's life.

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最近看到关于安祺的谣言, 我并不知道她,也不清楚什么事,但不禁想到自己.
从小围绕我就有不少谣言,小学一年级还是二年级时,
全班女生不理我,天天在我后面开批斗似的.
不知道是我小,不懂得这些,还是愚笨,我好象并不在意,还记得自己在前面快步走或躲起来,但并不记得自己为此哭,或伤心. 好象有很长时间这样了,也没告诉家人或老师.
后来别的同学告诉老师,然后就是调查,因为一个女孩造谣,不知道她如何有这样大的本事,最终只有两个女生和我玩. 老师后来勒令她们向我道歉,和好.
不知是不是这些事,长大以后,我都很独立,身边并无几个好朋友.好象也并不需要.
无意中我也知道不少别人的事,但我并无兴趣去传播或打听. 而我记得的往事更少.

这样多少养成了我特立独行的习惯, 很坚强的感觉. 但内心里其实是不信任别人,
所以对别人不抱任何期望. 所以以后离家读书和工作,我都比较自立, 很少把希望寄托在别人身上. 我不象别人想家,或什么的,却把梦想寄予远方,寄予未来.
我总是不断努力,总是以为未来的才是我的, 精彩的部分.

要庆幸的是我中学时,总以为自己不漂亮,那些漂亮的女生总是不少鲜花和谣言.
我更多的是自由和平静. 因为自己充当了几次红线女,看别人相思和暗恋的痛苦,
总是觉得一个字 “傻”. 那时年少不更事, 不明白他们/她们爱上了什么…

大学以后,因为有不少男生夸我,眼睛真美,鼻子很直,很挺等等.就开始注意到原来
的丑小鸭变了. 不过最让我信服的是同舍的女生的感叹,说你的眼睛真的很美很美.
一个漂亮的女孩发自内心地对另一个这样说, 我是相信这完全没有恭唯的成分.

后来南下工作,不断传来表姐的谣言,一个漂亮的女强人. 我是不相信她的谣言的,
但她老公动摇了… 这之间分分合合.
工作后当我听到关于我的传言时, 我也不怕, 一如既往. 结果呢, 我这风平浪静,谣言转到了别人的身上. (谣言就是这样,总是找最软弱的..)
我想有些东西,你越怕,它就越起劲. 你要么不理,走自己的路, 要么公开化.
反而它没有存在的意义了.

在海外,因为我会双语诗歌,并获了奖. 很多华人不相信一个移民的语言能力,也有不少谣言. 我记得有人就问过我,评委是不是华人,你们的关系?等等…其实我在这之前,我根本不知道谁是评委,也不认识...我甚至不知道这奖,是BUNNY推荐的. 我没有解释, 有时是很难改变别人的观点和想象力的.
不过我从来不在乎. 反过来想,也是对自己的鞭策,说明我还是做了些让别人难以信服
的事吗. 其实,真的不需要在乎造谣者, 自己的路自己付出了什么和得到了什么,
自己最清楚, 路很长,没有必要浪费生命为无谓的人和事..

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Immigrant

Trapped in a swamp
stretched and struggling
to pull out slowly,
you drag through a sump of insecurity,
facing the boundary by the deep-set tangles.

Your dreams, dropped in the water,
not like ripples spreading outwards,
fail to sparkle warm reception.
Your smiles fade away.
No wind, no fairy tale.

Holding up your head,
you become a climber,
your voice fallen behind.
You don't know where the destination is,
but you do know how to watch
and what to forget.

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I invite you into my dream
to share the emptiness.

I don't know you,
really,all mysterious,
in and out of my dream.

but I do know
where you come from
and what you want
like me, the light

the wall between day
and night gets
thinner and thinner

At last, We meet
silent
deep in the dream

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We cannot paint it --
words grow dark.
Waves upon waves,
far from the shore,
drown our silence.

Winds arise
through haunting dreams;
chanting among glinting stars,
they enclose a pearl.

Beyond the ocean,
sorrow cloaks our face.
We let shadows
lean long.

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My God! Lesson to learn!

When I tried to translate John .B. Lee's poem "The Bare facts of Morning", I had a few lines stumbled.
So I discussed them with Ram who teaches in College. He read it a few times, then began his explanation.
He dramatically interpreted the poem and repeated the most easy part. I pointed the line which really puzzled me.

"Accept the mind is such a muscle
to go flexing in the dark
like wingless beetles in a high dish."

I asked why the beetle is wingless, what did they imply? why are they in high dish.

Alas, he asked if we eat wingless beetles. I said some Chinese may do, but the poet is not Chinese.
I didn't think here he mentioned to eat them. Ram replied to me, " high dish is tasty dish."

I said I was really confused, I would ask the poet himself.

Now I am glad I did it. Here is John .B. Lee's answers to my two questions:

1. Why do you write it? What is the background of it?

the poem appeared originally in my book, Variations on Herb, a verse
biography of my paternal grandfather Herb Lee. The poem amounts to
something of an invocation of the muses. In it I express the desire for a
pure view of the external world without the corruption or contamination of
the transformative spoliation of the mind.


2. The line: "Like wingless beetles in a high dish", what do you mean?

the beetles are wingless and therefore they cannot fly beyond the rim.
They must crawl. And their perceptions are limited to the circle of the
bowl. This is their entire horizon. unless they escape.

Now I know how people read poems so differently and sometimes so wrong!

I am glad most of my translations are confirmed with the poets. When I have doubt, I always tried to ask them to explain to me,
In this way I hope I don't mislead the readers by my translation.
I wonder why people don't show their courage to admit that they don't understand what they read.
I don't know if I should told Ram the poet's reply or not.

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I am really busy, The Poetry event I brought Jason there. I let him do his homework by himself. He did very well. He even go downstair to buy Pizza by himself. The staff liked him and gave him a free cookie. He was so happy to be a new and nice place. So we all have a good time this weekend.

Then we went out for dinner and had a wonderful meal. The next day, Jason did a lot of homework and then went to play basketball and played chess with others. I came with him as usual,I brought the book and discussed a few questions with another writer.

At home, Paul called me from Montréal and told me his plan about the multi-cultural project. He would like to find professional publisher for a book co-author by him and me (his 30 poems and my 30 poems). He also tried to apply a grant. And he wanted to pay me for translation of his poems in that coming book according to his proposal.

For me, it is a good surprise. I am happy that he really loves my poems and my translation. (He knows Chinese) I believe if we begin this project, it will be fun and most important it is a good learning process of languages and thoughts. So I am looking forward to it.

Another happy thing is that I called John .B. Lee. I never called him before since I think I should not disturb others when I could send email to them. But his email was changed and I was not aware of it. I thought he was too busy to reply me. Till today I called him to ask if he received my email. I am glad he was very happy to talk with me. Sometimes I should not let fear hold me back. Because indeed, the old fashion is a good way to contact people.

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Today I felt sad. The reason I could not say but I really wanted to talk with someone.
In the past year, when my emotion was down to the bottom. I always tried to find friends to talk, or to write.
But today, it is a difficult issue to discuss with others. No body could really feel what I felt. So it made worse. I tried very hard to work on my project. I tried to distract myself. Then I got email from a friend, suddenly it made my day. In his email, my friend would like to co-author a book with me; he thought it would be an exciting and thrilling project to do together.
I never met him and never talked with him before. We only exchanged poetry and thoughts occasionally. So today I searched his web site to read his poems and his arts. I found them powerful and beautiful!
So I decide to contact him for his proposal. I also thank Danish for his book which he gave me as gift. It is very good. I read the beauty and power in it.
In his book, he made a promise to change the reader's life. But he also asked for a promise from the reader: Promise you’ll read it slowly and think about everything you read. Promise you’ll read it several times over. Promise you’ll try to extract all the positive aspects from it. So I made my promise to read it slowly and carefully.
I really got his point of distinction. And I agree with Anthony Robbins’ view about the six basic human needs.
The first human need that Robbins identifies is the need for certainty; the second is the need for uncertainty.
True, I personally experience this deeply. I agree we want to feel certain about the connection we have with someone. However, to continue to feel good, we have a need for variety. I remember a few years ago, when I felt my life was like that what I lived before, no magic ahead, nothing new, plain and calm, I felt so sad. I felt it horrible.
I envisioned myself already half in the coffin. So I wanted changes, I wanted variety. I wanted a new life. Later I began to write and got my passion and lived my dreams.

From time to time, I do feel lonely and helpless. When I feel sad and lonely, I know there are a few friends always open to me, I wish I could talk with them, but sometimes I hold back since I don’t want to disturb others’ life. I believe I need to face loneliness and sadness by myself. Like now, I talk to myself and write to myself, it makes me more strong and calm. I thank people who walk with me and help me; I know my world will be completed by us together. As human, we all connect. Now I write to myself, or maybe to you too, who know? Or I pretend there is someone waiting for me, listening to me?

In my heart, Am I still searching, dreaming . . .
For good or for bad.

I told myself remember the good, forget the bad.

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身在外，不知事，经朋友提起，才记起元宵佳节。

昨晚陪儿子看了月食，让儿子自己查了网上月食的由来。

很有意思。 侄女说在南京几次看到流星雨。可惜我从没看过。只是去宿营时，见过满天星星。

贴一个旧的。

@星星

多如河面的粼光，
真想伸手去捞。
抬头仰望的时候，
一对掉进了我的眼里。

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They start with a question, a promise,
hangs as a shiny apple, our spirits uplift.

We are conjured:
Now is the time
to refresh our life.

For years, we sat in a small cubicle,
thinking and dreaming . . .
the world beyond our box.

Finally, we celebrate our courage and determination
to come here for enlightenment and solution,
in an official holiday.

Yet, here we are,
sitting --
each, perfect audience.

Rows of speakers brag their success,
with an obvious purpose --
money!

This Family Day, their promise
fades away;
We smile with faint agreement,
they end with the goal of wealth.

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跳累了，第一次没有在10点前离开，所以可以参加抽奖，抽中了一个小奖。

希望星期一可以抽大奖，很贪心的

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remind

Feb 23 POETRY Event.

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Another luck may come soon.

We will wait to see till Feb 18.

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[  心情: Happy ]

继续梦想,继续快乐.爱自己,也爱家人.

每天多些拥抱,多点关爱. 坚持跳舞,音乐,诗歌美好的事物. 希望有天真的在海边,在月下,地老天荒地尽情舞蹈或写诗 . . .

不可理喻的我

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I got the Confidence Bound Magazine yesterday. Looking at the photos inside, Jack commented, “Wow, your photo takes half of the page. “ Indeed, it amazed me. I was very glad we took great pictures in China last summer. The quality was so good. When I was asked by a journalist to send photos to the editor, I need not worry like before.
The journalist herself is a poet, she asked me to be the Vice Chair for our new Mississauga branch of CFP (Canadian Federation Poets). I told her I was very busy and I would like to spend more time with my family. But I would still help her and support her as best as I could. She understood and agreed with me.
In fact, Bunny also asked me last year to set up a Mississauga Branch for TOPS. But since I was too busy, I told her I could help if someone wanted to do this.

For four years, there are always many people encouraged me to grow and many of my friends admired me of an enthusiastic spirit. But personally, I believed it because of my luck and honest attitude.

I know I still have a long way to go; sometimes I even get upset to think of that.
As I learn more, I know there are more to learn. But I will continue my studying and practice. I need also to learn to relax and enjoy it. That is the way of life. That is the way I choose.

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愉快过好每一天

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很喜欢宁静,虽然还是和儿子,老公打打闹闹,平时却在一起读书,看电影,玩雪和WII 更多地喜欢家庭生活.

还是喜欢音乐和跳舞... 老公答应一起练, 他很有幽默感, 所以儿子总喜欢在旁边看着... 并来指导.

儿子是个快乐的人,这部分可能继承了我. 儿子的朋友问他,她是你妈妈吗? 不象. 因为她和你一起玩得这么开心. 其实这很容易,儿子玩,我也把自己当小孩,一起玩. 今年的冬天,我一点都不觉得冷. 既充实又快乐. 我想真应该感谢很多转变. 让我懂得珍惜.

我感谢很多关心我的人,虽然我不能一一致谢, 但我真诚在心里祝福你们. 也祝你们新年一切顺利

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小片片.

http://anna.88just.com/annaPoetry1.ppt

没时间改成ONLINE 片片贴....只能用POWER POINT 的SLIDE VIEW.

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[  心情: Happy ]

因为说有冰雨,所以学校今天不开,大家都在家上班.

倒很好,一边看春晚,一边工作

开开小差,陪陪儿子和家人

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If lonely I appear,
it is the clouds I wear
or the mirror not near
a reflection of the passive

I am not the door
to which you hold the key
and perhaps mercy
or the bays
that lie and beckon

I am the face of moon
up in the sky
watching you slip in
shadow long and hollow

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My mentor keeps writing her journal. She asks me to do the same. Though I don’t have much time to do this, I slowly develop a habit to write it in my head. I hope I also write it in the paper when I have time.
Lately I read a lot. I talk with a few other poets for suggestions. They all think I have developed my voice, but how to break the limit is hard to say. Reading more and more, and writing more and more, they suggest.

Reading really enriches my world. I find there are so many powerful poems I never read before. There are all kinds of voices. Each is unique and enchanting. Some voices are silent, piercing. Other voices are uplifting. An amazing world. Here I want to share a few poems which I love very much, but I am not quite sure about them.

You are happy

By Margaret Atwood

The water turns
a long way down over the raw stone,
ice crusts around it

We walk separately
along the hill to the open
beach, unused
picnic tables, wind
shoving the brown waves, erosion, gravel
rasping on gravel.

In the ditch a deer
carcass, no head. Bird
running across the glaring
road against the low pink sun.

When you are this
cold you can think about
nothing but the cold, the images

hitting into your eyes
like needles, crystals, you are happy.

I wonder here You who it is. the narrator or the narrator’s lover?
The tone is very cold and silent, then why you are happy? For what?

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They talk with me over the phone, outside and inside, they say very cold.
Like 50 years ago. My dad adds.
On the other side of the Pacific Ocean, I need not worry about storms and
food, everything is convenient, I could hear my son outside play
snow. He never imagines how chill it feels without furnace inside.
He claims he loves winter.
Now, my sister needs to go out to fetch water from a well, which abandoned long time ago.
She needs to be very careful because of the icy ground.
I say to them, Take care . . . They smile, I could only imagine, but I want to cry.
I miss them. I really want them to take care.

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I prefer love not coming,
for knowing its promise
afterward -- the void.

The moon lies
its thousands of years,
soothing night's invasion.

Only dreams,
dreams
keep waiting.

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Note: Sylvia was a female poet and suicided at her age of 30.

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You could submit your poems or prose to support:


(there are beautiful poems for Van Gogh )

http://www.vggallery.com/visitors/poetry/main.htm

http://www.vggallery.com/index.html

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Emily Dickinson
American women of Achievement

As age of 19-year-old, Emily Dickinson’s doubts about religion persisted, and she often expressed her torment in verse:
I shall know why—when Time is over—
And I have ceased to wonder why—
Christ will explain each separate anguish
In the fair schoolroom of the sky—
He will tell me what “Peter” promised
And I –for wonder at his woe—
I shall forget the drop of Anguish
That scalds me now – that scalds me Now!

The book “Emily Dickinson (American women of Achievement)” is a good tool to understand Emily’s life and her poems.
Emily was keen to life and nature no matter how much she remained isolated from the world. She passed her days by looking inward and concentrated her energies and intellect on writing. Her poems were intensely emotional. They reflected her struggle of life and religion. She wrote “Faith is such a fine invention” and confessed her decision in letters,
“The shore is safer, Abiah, But I love to buffet the sea… I love the danger”
For better or worse, she had taken an independent stand on the issue of faith.
“It is not now too late, so my friends tell me, so my offended conscience whispers, but it is hard for me to give up the world.”
It took her a few years to settle down her thoughts and struggle between. So many of her poems sway between faith and questions.
.

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真希望那些在路上的人们平安.

晚上电湖南老家,希望大家都好.

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After more than one year email or message contact, we final talked over phone.
Doug told me I was like a silent friend of his. He was very happy to get known me.
He wishes I could join their local poet group down in Florida where they meet at his book store monthly. He said I would be such a fine contributor there.
I am very happy to hear that and I am very grateful to have a sincere friend as him.
In my writing journey, I have made many friends. Some come and go, others stay.
I do hope those who help me a lot and adore me a lot eventually could see me take off.
I really thank them for their suggestions and guide. They are my teachers, also my friends. Thank You!

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这些可爱的雪人
挺过了漫漫严冬,
在春天和煦的阳光下,
开始融化.

我安抚的手伸出去,
又收回来,
担心手心的温暖
刺痛他们隐藏的留念.
我站成面前的雪人,
戚然泪流.

在无尽的暗夜,
我是谁的雪人,
默默相伴
渡过漆黑之夜?

当侯鸟归来,
田野芬芳,
当黎明到来,
天空明亮,
我和雪人各自离去,
甜蜜和忧伤着
另一个冬天,
又一个梦 . . .

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孩子永远是家的轴心. 最近读书少了,借了国际象棋来看,因为儿子分级又开始了. 今年夏天让他第一次考钢琴级别, 所以练琴要更细心.

昨天他同学生日聚会,同学家长对我说终于见到JASON...她女儿一直夸JASON怎么聪明和懂事...很多他的同学家长这样说过, 所以狠狠地表扬了一下儿子.

新年工作也开始忙了... 不过心态还好,同事们也很好相处, 大家都很信任,所以家事和工作可以两相照顾.

去书店买了JASON 学习的书,我也可以再复习学习. 每天要求他日记, 以及学习中文. 希望从小培养好习惯,以后他自己能更独立和充实.

给家人打了电话,说还有十多天过年,天很冷,我也不能给他们什么安慰...好在父母身体健康,心情舒畅.

父亲一直热心做家谱,因为有此爱好,反而年轻多了...所以大家也乐得让他奔忙 母亲还是很好玩,老人班报了很多项目...真好.

我们不再是父母的轴心,不过还是他们的牵挂...

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英文诗歌,中文诗歌,中外诗歌北美文学,北美生活

The only way to experience truth directly is to look within, to observe oneself. All our lives we have been accustomed to look outward. We have always been interested in what is happening outside, what others are doing. We have rarely if ever tried to examine ourselves, our own mental and physical structure, our own actions, our own reality. Therefore we remain unknown to ourselves. We do not know how harmful this ignorance is, how much we remain the slaves of forces within ourselves of which we are unaware.

-S.N. Goenka

We are blind to the fact that the things we think we enjoy spring in fact from within ourselves, from our reaction to those things rather than the things themselves. Once you can grasp this concept, a new consciousness can arise.

A new car cannot make you happy, your reaction to the car can make you happy for a while, but it is your mind that is producing the happiness, not the car.

With that wisdom, we can begin to train the mind to be happy under all circumstances.

-Koheleth

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[  心情: Amused ]

Last night, I thought a lot of my novel. I doubt if I was the right person to write novel. I seemed to be more comfortable to write non-fiction, or short memoirs,

I get used to monotone and lack dynamic voice and characters. It is hard to change. If I really want to continue my novel, I need to think out of my comfort zone.
I also need to let the characters' voices to take over, let the characters dance their own.
I thought too much, even with a retreat to ideas. I think sometimes I need those fantastic dreams or ideas to keep myself move on.
I always paint my world with colorful dreams. I do believe some will come true. Many friends have faith on me, for that I need to keep going.
I

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现在很开心的是我说实话,不再挨老公批评...不过我也遵照他的要求,尽量不说得罪人的话.

原来想移民加拿大,除了喜欢新世界,还有一个原因是想做自己,所以放弃留在国内的很多机会和关系. (当然很明白自己的个性让自己失去了很多机会. )

所以出国后很怀感激的心理,无论大小事,都好好去做,不抱怨,自己选择的吗!

比如为了感激老公第一份工作,我们买了公司的募捐股,心想多少表示一下,帮一把. 后来公司倒闭, 我们也无任何怨言. 毕竟这是他来这里很好的起步.

我们俩一直幸运,我们对所有帮助我们的心怀感激. 也祝大家一切顺利.

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西人几个朋友的孩子想学中文.

推荐以下几个

古汉字赏析 FLASH (儿童可以学)

http://www.kfyes.com/flash/play.asp?id=21551

汉语网 (大人也可学)

http://www.hanyu.com.cn/en/default.asp

还有从国内买的一些DVD教学片,也很好.现在做得生动活泼,有情有趣.
我也可以学呢.


诗歌库

http://www.shigeku.com/

先推荐一下

等自己有时间,再看看英文部分.

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There is ecstasy in reading and writing.

I am reading a book just borrowed "Some Instructions on Writing and Life" by Anne Lamott. Reading it is like meditation. I surrender myself into peace and listening.

I especially like chapter "Looking around" and "The Moral point of view".

It gives me the reason why I cannot continue my novel.

Sometimes I am so weak and lack confidence. I almost want to give up. But now I gain my passion again. I want writing and reading to be very important part of life. I want to continue... I want to retreat to a quiet corner and indulge myself in reading.

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Making the Canadian dream come true

网络连接
http://www.confidencebound.ca/content/view/62/33/

主编很客气,说杂志周末印好,给我几份. 好象是新杂志,采访我的记者说是"National Post"属下的杂志. 具体不清楚,拿到杂志再仔细看看.

不过记者有些内容是根据我的个人网站; anna.88just.com ,有些是其他朋友提供的. 我今天才看到. 她采访我时主要问我语言方面的障碍和自己如何克服.

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八点半起床, 九点送JASON去中文学校
十点我自己上课
十一点半上上酷我-北美枫(这里看看)
十二点接儿子回家.

一点全家老小出去买菜,以及杂物.
三点到家私店给JASON 看看儿童家具. 发现一个很实惠的实木书桌.
原来计划家里楼上四个房间等地下室装好后再考虑,不过因为两个房间不大,
看到的书桌是三角型,正好用在角上,使房间一下大起来. 这点我很佩服老公.
他首先想到的, 他给很多朋友和公司出了不少好点子.朋友们各方面的问题都喜欢寻求他的建议. 所以他很忙很忙. 昨晚又忙到一点. 我只好坐着看书,等他, 我有个坏习惯,要等他睡了,才能睡着.

买了书桌,回家放好,果然正好. 房间一下宽敞实用.
陪儿子练琴1小时.
7:00 全家吃饭.

8:00 和儿子下国际相棋. 以及气球游戏.
9:00 陪儿子读书,睡觉.
上上酷我-北美枫 写写东西,读读书等


星期天
上午9:00上上酷我-北美枫 写写东西,点评等
10:00 陪儿子弹琴 (每天 40分钟 到一小时)
12.00 送儿子打篮球. (2小时) 我带书边看边等.
(和TERRY 打电话半小时.
看Rishi 下棋 半小时, 他要我早点带JASON 来,也来下. 我说好下次)
和他约好下星期六诗人活动. 可能10个人, 另一个下棋高手问他能不能来,
我们说,欢迎.)
2:30 PM 接儿子回家. (平常是他爸开车来带他去游泳或滑冰,我开我的车回家或去诗人活动.) 因为他爸加班,累了所以我们直接回家.)
3:30 整理洗衣. 上上酷我-北美枫
4:00 PM 陪儿子读书,做作业.
5:00 他爸陪儿子玩Wii, 游戏. 我看电影.
7:00 吃饭…. 打电话给国内家人,朋友
陪儿子读书,睡觉.
上上酷我-北美枫 写写东西,读读书等

去年公司的800多按摩金额一直没时间用,加上今年的,有一千多,计划周末抽时间去用掉. 其实我是很喜欢那种放松,不用太可惜了.

(日子周而复始…也忙也充实
)

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Last night, I watched the movie "I am legend". I would say I disliked it, though I was moved by some lines from the movie.
That kind of fiction story I could not relate. I found many spots which did not make sense.
But still it made me sleepless afterward. I kept thinking if there was only one person left, how dark and lonely life would be. In that point, we as a human would be more feeble than an animal. Because we get used to societ life, we could not stand up loneliness.

Last night, I watched the movie "I am legend". I would say I disliked it, though I was moved by some lines from the movie.
That kind of fiction story I could not relate. I found many spots which did not make sense.
But still it made me sleepless afterward. I kept thinking if there was only one person left, how dark and lonely life would be. In that point, we as a human would be more feeble than an animal. Because we get used to societ life, we could not stand up loneliness.

Tonight I will watch another movie but not a serious one. I don't want it spoil my night.

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清晨,
绿色的回收箱被倾空,
那些据说可以做养料的
被运往远处,某个果园.

站在镜子前,
我用心扫视,
一把黑发泛白,脱落
与堆积着的梦想和遗憾绞缠,
飘向可以回收的地方…
在腐烂之前,
它们渴望鲜绿的果园.

空空的回收箱伫立
周而复始,
接收着余剩的生活.

In the morning,
a green recycle bin is emptied out;
those decomposables will be carried
to somewhere in a far orchard.

Standing before a mirror,
deliberately I scan it:
A string of black hairs faded,
shed and tangle among the pile of
dreams and sorrows,
together they drift to some place
for reprocessing . . .
Before decay,
They long for a lush garden.

The empty recycle bin stands;
day after day
it receives life's waste.

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我的诗跳动我的脉搏,
地下河的奔流从山谷穿过,
四月飘落的雨
我不能一一诉说
它们流动着红色的经络

我停靠告别的地方
啄木鸟一样,
在一棵垂老的橡树旁,
一声声叩进我的脉搏.
在它睡去之前,
远方的梦将鲜艳地飘红
催放着一朵朵并缔的荷莲,
在寂静的星空下,
涟漪微荡...
我的诗跳动我的脉搏.


倒读也可成诗. -----------------


我的诗跳动我的脉搏,
涟漪微荡...
在寂静的星空下,
催放着一朵朵并缔的荷莲,
远方的梦将鲜艳地飘红
在它睡去之前,
一声声叩进我的脉搏.
在一棵垂老的橡树旁,
啄木鸟一样,
我停靠告别的地方.

它们流动着红色的经络,
我不能一一诉说,
四月飘落的雨,
地下河的奔流从山谷穿过,
我的诗跳动我的脉搏.

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心情开始变坏....所以还是早点下班回家. 本来想晚上写一个笑话,也不写了.
晚上好好陪老公和儿子,家才是心灵的港湾.

愿那些不幸的人想开点,过好每一天.

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有朋友说,我写诗很小心翼翼, 我的诗更象是安抚不安分的心. 说诗歌是人的内心,很容易就暴露出来. 我原以为小说更容易反映真实的世界.却发现想写但很难写下去.
我还一直在否定写下去的意义.然而写作有时是一种很痛快的感觉,我一方面希望内心世界的真实表达,一方面又害怕. 因为就象烈火或火山随时腾空. 很多西人朋友以为我有很多故事, 觉得艺术需要激情. But I cannot afford tangled life. 我只能靠想象.
其实这样更好,不会伤害任何人. 我记得 “Write down the bones” 一书中说,与普通人比,作家活过两次. 那就让我这样继续吧. 我希望自己放开写, 跟着感觉写下去

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一年多没问候过,今天在GMAIL中遇见,互相问好. CRAIG 问我有无兴趣参加诗集编稿活动,主题为自行车. 说我可以选一些中国诗歌来翻译.


然后我问到他的小说如何呢. 他说几年前出版了,只卖出一本.说彻底放弃了. 老实人一个,实话实说...看来文学市场是很难的...然后我问他想不想加入我们本地的诗歌活动. 他很愿意.

因为现在我们只是5人,所以我们将在每月定期轮流到一个诗人家里讨论诗歌.等人多了,再借图书室的空间.

在ELKA家是固定的另一组,我也每月去. 因为开车只要20分钟.其他的地方就不去了,太远.

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Your ax rusts,
the cut long ago
is hardly visible

The wound deep inside me
remains
it is not your fault
it is mine--
for my trust overpaid

Shall I thank you? For the lesson
which teaches me to love
in a painful way

But I'd rather forgive you
and forget you
at the same time

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我的梦在梦里

让一个遗憾
生根,它可以开花
灿烂如星
没有什么可以攀比

我绞结它的果浆,
清晨你饮,
那甘露的甜美,
我告诉你吧,
亲爱的,
是成熟的石榴红.


莲

再次为你开放,
应该是夏天.
或者梦里.

碧绿的裙摆,
香气四溢.
粉嫩的花瓣半开,
水里,不深不浅的倒影.


A dream within a dream

Let seeds of sorrow
root, sprout and bloom
Brilliant as stars
Nothing could match

I squeeze its juice out
In the morning you shall drink.
The dew-like sweetness
My dear,
Is from the red ripe megranate



Lotus

Another blossom
for you
shall be in summer
or in a dream

My lush green skirt
spreads fresh scents.
Pink soft petals half open,
on the water, shadows neither deep nor shallow

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不是永恒,却是永恒

这一次的告别,
向日葵热烈开放,
这一次的告别,
晚风低声彷徨.

寂静的山岗,
一棵树暗自忧伤,
往事纷落,
星光凝霜.

远处, 河流兀自歌唱,
黎明闪着光亮.
我美丽的转身,
微笑着
不是永恒,却是永恒.

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On my gravestone,
there is no word,
but a heart with a pair of wings.
When all other parts fade,
those shall remain.

The wind will flap the carving wings
and streams flow underground;
the sunset will cast crimson songs
and lakes shimmer with reflections.

My grave will open a sliding channel,
for a butterfly to flutter to the moon,
when lavenders swing in silence,
a wish star shall land in your dream.

I will sit demure
upon a blooming bay tree,
scattering fragrant petals
as the spring rain.

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得知雨雨怀孕的事,我衷心为她高兴.因我知道孩子会给母亲带来什么. 兰儿前几天来电说,她对我印象最深的一句话是
如果我是单身,我也要有自己的孩子. 那是完全不同的,全心全意的爱和回报.
不记得看了那部电影,电梯里一对恋人打哑语.他们走后,别人问,他们说什么, 我永远记住了这句话.”You completed me.”
我想这样的感觉多幸福呀. 女人的一生,没有孩子,是不完整的,至少我这样认为. 当然我们也可以把自己的恋人当做自己的孩子,但那还是不一样. 我希望雨雨能够在新的生命中理会到人生不同的快乐.
我也希望兰儿重新开始她的新生活. 让我们做快乐的蜜蜂,采酿的是甜美,是浓郁.