酷我-北美枫

[Blue Ice]

Where are you?

In my stray dream,
I lost my way
I could not find you
In my loneliness reverie

How deep is the forest
Where is you dissolved trace
I called again and again,
and broke my throat
But I can not find your silhouette

Dropped tear became icy star
It hung on the sky
Lit the lamp
to help you go home
Where are you? My Muse
did you fall down in vast dark
The floating cloud is your poem that you left half a month ago?

[[FAFAFA]]

Where are you?

In my stray dream,
I lost my way
I could not find you
In my loneliness reverie

How deep is the forest
Where is you dissolved trace
I called again and again,
and broke my throat
But I can not find your silhouette

Dropped tear became icy star
It hung on the sky
Lit the lamp
to help you go home
Where are you? My Muse
did you fall down in vast dark
The floating cloud is your poem that you left half a month ago?

[肖今]

姐姐，为什么要重复两遍呢？

我是根据大意乱翻的，姐姐别介意哦！




你在哪里


在迷茫的梦境
我迷路
我找不到你
在这空旷的回忆里

黑色森林
吞没了你溶解了痕迹
我一次又一次呼喊
咽喉已断
你却没有出现半个侧影

泪滴凝成冰星
挂在天空
如点亮的灯
照在你回家的路
你在哪里？我沉思
跌落在无边黑暗中的
这朵深秋漂浮的云
可是你半个月前的那一首诗？
_________________
░░破茧成蝶 眼泪，从此不咸░░

NO FOREVER , ONLY LONGER！

[[King]]

姐姐，为什么要重复两遍呢？

我是根据大意乱翻的，姐姐别介意哦！




你在哪里


在迷茫的梦境
我迷路
我找不到你
在这空旷的回忆里

黑色森林
吞没了你溶解了痕迹
我一次又一次呼喊
咽喉已断
你却没有出现半个侧影

泪滴凝成冰星
挂在天空
如点亮的灯
照在你回家的路
你在哪里？我沉思
跌落在无边黑暗中的
这朵深秋漂浮的云
可是你半个月前的那一首诗？
_________________
░░破茧成蝶 眼泪，从此不咸░░

NO FOREVER , ONLY LONGER！

[肖今]

谢谢,蓝冰!

我读英文好吃力,只是模模糊糊有点明白意思,然后根据自己的联想,把英文中直译的词义化解为另一种表达语境,可能这样会与原作拉开距离.
希望你不介意,我的胡作非为.

请多多指教!
_________________
░░破茧成蝶 眼泪，从此不咸░░

NO FOREVER , ONLY LONGER！

[[King]]

谢谢,蓝冰!

我读英文好吃力,只是模模糊糊有点明白意思,然后根据自己的联想,把英文中直译的词义化解为另一种表达语境,可能这样会与原作拉开距离.
希望你不介意,我的胡作非为.

请多多指教!
_________________
░░破茧成蝶 眼泪，从此不咸░░

NO FOREVER , ONLY LONGER！

[Blue Ice]

谢 谢 你 ， 肖 肖 。 我 很 喜 欢 你 的 译 文 。

[[FFFFFF]]

谢 谢 你 ， 肖 肖 。 我 很 喜 欢 你 的 译 文 。

[broadstroke]

Each time I read your work, I can see that it's getting a little easier for you to communicate your ideas in English. Keep going! You can only get better.

[[broadstroke]]

Each time I read your work, I can see that it's getting a little easier for you to communicate your ideas in English. Keep going! You can only get better.

[Blue Ice]

Hi, broadstroke, thank you so much for your enuragement

[[FFFFFF]]

Hi, broadstroke, thank you so much for your enuragement

[星子]

where are you?

you may could change a more interesting title...

Try to keep on writing and revision.

You will get further and further..

thanks for sharing.

[[ANNA]]

where are you?

you may could change a more interesting title...

Try to keep on writing and revision.

You will get further and further..

thanks for sharing.

[Blue Ice]

STAR, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUGGESTION, I WILL TRY TO DO MY BEST

[[FFFFFF]]

STAR, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUGGESTION, I WILL TRY TO DO MY BEST

[Blue Ice]

我之所以转贴一点西人的评论在这, 是我为他们的热情友好所感动. 大家仅仅是素不相识的网友, 他们发现你的语法, 拼写等错误(或疏忽, 或不懂, 常会发生) 或他们的不同理解, 他们都会坦率的指出, 有时会很认真的按他们的理解帮你改(这里我没贴那么多). 同时谈他们的感受.

(MY PEN NAME)
Gosh, I know the feeling! There are some words misplaced here and there (Were instead of Where, Light instead of Lit, etc). Yours inspired me with "broke my throat" and "The floating cloud is your poem that you left half a month ago?" I will PM you what I came up with (don't want to jack your thread).
Nice read!

-Tami

当我提出想把她的诗歌贴到中国人的诗坛, 她没有马上答复, 我以为自己太唐突, 赶紧道歉. 没曾想, 她却为我这个从无交往的人很认真的把她写的诗歌又改了一遍.
Hi, (MY NAME)
It's ok. No apologies are needed. Here is the updated version for you:

An Author’s Plea

A cry for an ending met closed lips
and reverberated without sound
in the back of his dry throat.
Tearful eyes looked back to the horizon,
where his imaginings occurred most often.
The sky yielded nothing tangible
but a few clouds of thought;
pillows on which to begin anew


feel free to post this (you can attach my name as: Tami) in that forum you were talking about

I am grateful that I was so inspired by your poem.

Have a good week.

-Tami

[[FAFAFA]]

我之所以转贴一点西人的评论在这, 是我为他们的热情友好所感动. 大家仅仅是素不相识的网友, 他们发现你的语法, 拼写等错误(或疏忽, 或不懂, 常会发生) 或他们的不同理解, 他们都会坦率的指出, 有时会很认真的按他们的理解帮你改(这里我没贴那么多). 同时谈他们的感受.

(MY PEN NAME)
Gosh, I know the feeling! There are some words misplaced here and there (Were instead of Where, Light instead of Lit, etc). Yours inspired me with "broke my throat" and "The floating cloud is your poem that you left half a month ago?" I will PM you what I came up with (don't want to jack your thread).
Nice read!

-Tami

当我提出想把她的诗歌贴到中国人的诗坛, 她没有马上答复, 我以为自己太唐突, 赶紧道歉. 没曾想, 她却为我这个从无交往的人很认真的把她写的诗歌又改了一遍.
Hi, (MY NAME)
It's ok. No apologies are needed. Here is the updated version for you:

An Author’s Plea

A cry for an ending met closed lips
and reverberated without sound
in the back of his dry throat.
Tearful eyes looked back to the horizon,
where his imaginings occurred most often.
The sky yielded nothing tangible
but a few clouds of thought;
pillows on which to begin anew


feel free to post this (you can attach my name as: Tami) in that forum you were talking about

I am grateful that I was so inspired by your poem.

Have a good week.

-Tami

[Blue Ice]

试译了一下, 请指点

作者的自白

呐喊终结在紧闭的嘴唇
混响着沉默无声
他干渴的声带
后面, 充满泪水的眼睛
回望着地平线
那里有他常常产生的幻觉
天空, 空空的
几片思绪的云
在脑海回旋

An Author’s Plea

A cry for an ending met closed lips
and reverberated without sound
in the back of his dry throat.
Tearful eyes looked back to the horizon,
where his imaginings occurred most often.
The sky yielded nothing tangible
but a few clouds of thought;
pillows on which to begin anew

[[FFFFFF]]

试译了一下, 请指点

作者的自白

呐喊终结在紧闭的嘴唇
混响着沉默无声
他干渴的声带
后面, 充满泪水的眼睛
回望着地平线
那里有他常常产生的幻觉
天空, 空空的
几片思绪的云
在脑海回旋

An Author’s Plea

A cry for an ending met closed lips
and reverberated without sound
in the back of his dry throat.
Tearful eyes looked back to the horizon,
where his imaginings occurred most often.
The sky yielded nothing tangible
but a few clouds of thought;
pillows on which to begin anew

[朱新魁]

Dropped tear became icy star
It hung on the sky
Lit the lamp
to help you go home

[[FAFAFA]]

Dropped tear became icy star
It hung on the sky
Lit the lamp
to help you go home

[Blue Ice]

thank you so much, xiao
this is my original manusript, do you think they are like twins？

寻

迷路了
在我流浪的梦中
找不到你
那孤独的幻境

密密森林
这么深
哪儿是你消逝的足迹
一次又一次呼喊,
扯破了声带
哪儿是你的踪影?

把泪水凝成冰洁的星
挂在天上,
为你点亮回家的灯
你在哪? 我的诗之魂
难道你真的遁入
茫茫太空?

天边那朵飘飞的云
可是半月前你遗落的
诗稿的余烬

[[FFFFFF]]

thank you so much, xiao
this is my original manusript, do you think they are like twins？

寻

迷路了
在我流浪的梦中
找不到你
那孤独的幻境

密密森林
这么深
哪儿是你消逝的足迹
一次又一次呼喊,
扯破了声带
哪儿是你的踪影?

把泪水凝成冰洁的星
挂在天上,
为你点亮回家的灯
你在哪? 我的诗之魂
难道你真的遁入
茫茫太空?

天边那朵飘飞的云
可是半月前你遗落的
诗稿的余烬