酷我-北美枫

[agincourt]

New Year’s Blues (Tanka String)


New Year’s fireworks
stop popping over my house --
nothing left
but the piercing cries
of a cat


Ericcoliu's Version:

New Year's embers
have fallen
into stillness --
a crying cat
pierces the night
_________________
Napped half the day;
no one
punished me!

[[agincourt]]

New Year’s Blues (Tanka String)


New Year’s fireworks
stop popping over my house --
nothing left
but the piercing cries
of a cat


Ericcoliu's Version:

New Year's embers
have fallen
into stillness --
a crying cat
pierces the night
_________________
Napped half the day;
no one
punished me!

[温暖的水獸]

[[温暖的水獸]]

[agincourt]

[[agincourt]]

[ericcoliu]

Views vary on the way tanka should be written in English, A overwhelming majority of tankaists compose their tanka in less than 20 English syllables or words because English syllables are more complex than the Japanese equivalent of sound-symbols.


Below is an excerpt from “What is Tanka?” written by Kozue Uzawa, who is the co-founder of Tanka Canada, of which I am a member:


“When we write tanka in English, we usually use five lines. As for syllable counting, I personally like to use about 20 English syllables because this shortness is very close to Japanese’s tanka. If you don't like to count syllables, just count words. Use 10 ~ 15 words, or up to 20 words at maximum. In the past, English tanka were often composed using 31 English syllables, but today's English tanka are much shorter.

The five lines can be arranged in a short/long/shorft/long/long pattern following the Japanese tanka's 5/7/5/7/7 syllable sequence. This sequence is very rhythmical in Japanese, and if you feel the short/long/short/long/long pattern in English very rhythmical, you can follow, but not required always.”

I personally like Michael McClintock’s conception of tanka in the “taika” style because the English-speaking readers with any knowledge of tanka can greatly enjoy reading “taika.”

“’Taika’ is my shorthand term for a style of tanka construction that combines a three-line haiku in typical objective language with two additional lines that further develop the imagery and usually introduce a lyrical, subjective element. In most cases, the three-line unit could stand alone as a haiku, while the two-line unit is dependent on the other for its meaning and context. The haiku or haiku-like unit are usually the initial three lines of the poem, as seen here:

leading my horse
to the river at midnight
scattered stars
in such impossible numbers
we don't mind drinking a few

--Michael McClintock

Sometimes, however, the haiku unit is contained in the last three lines, as in this poem, in which the subjective, lyrical voice leads off in the first two lines :

such was their power,
I lost all sense of time,
reading old poems . . .
journeying into morning
high in Chinese mountains
--Michael McClintock

[Gusts: Contemporary Tanka, No. 3, Spring/Summer 2006, edited by Kozue Uzawa]”

By the way, tanka are usually not titled.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[[ericcoliu]]

Views vary on the way tanka should be written in English, A overwhelming majority of tankaists compose their tanka in less than 20 English syllables or words because English syllables are more complex than the Japanese equivalent of sound-symbols.


Below is an excerpt from “What is Tanka?” written by Kozue Uzawa, who is the co-founder of Tanka Canada, of which I am a member:


“When we write tanka in English, we usually use five lines. As for syllable counting, I personally like to use about 20 English syllables because this shortness is very close to Japanese’s tanka. If you don't like to count syllables, just count words. Use 10 ~ 15 words, or up to 20 words at maximum. In the past, English tanka were often composed using 31 English syllables, but today's English tanka are much shorter.

The five lines can be arranged in a short/long/shorft/long/long pattern following the Japanese tanka's 5/7/5/7/7 syllable sequence. This sequence is very rhythmical in Japanese, and if you feel the short/long/short/long/long pattern in English very rhythmical, you can follow, but not required always.”

I personally like Michael McClintock’s conception of tanka in the “taika” style because the English-speaking readers with any knowledge of tanka can greatly enjoy reading “taika.”

“’Taika’ is my shorthand term for a style of tanka construction that combines a three-line haiku in typical objective language with two additional lines that further develop the imagery and usually introduce a lyrical, subjective element. In most cases, the three-line unit could stand alone as a haiku, while the two-line unit is dependent on the other for its meaning and context. The haiku or haiku-like unit are usually the initial three lines of the poem, as seen here:

leading my horse
to the river at midnight
scattered stars
in such impossible numbers
we don't mind drinking a few

--Michael McClintock

Sometimes, however, the haiku unit is contained in the last three lines, as in this poem, in which the subjective, lyrical voice leads off in the first two lines :

such was their power,
I lost all sense of time,
reading old poems . . .
journeying into morning
high in Chinese mountains
--Michael McClintock

[Gusts: Contemporary Tanka, No. 3, Spring/Summer 2006, edited by Kozue Uzawa]”

By the way, tanka are usually not titled.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[浴恩福]

[[浴恩福]]

[agincourt]

Thank you all for your valuable comments. Many thanks to ericcoliu for your detailed explanation of how to write tanka in English and to 浴恩福 for helping me polish my tanka.
_________________
Napped half the day;
no one
punished me!

[[agincourt]]

Thank you all for your valuable comments. Many thanks to ericcoliu for your detailed explanation of how to write tanka in English and to 浴恩福 for helping me polish my tanka.
_________________
Napped half the day;
no one
punished me!

[ericcoliu]

Here is my take:

New Year's embers
have fallen
into stillness --
a crying cat
pierces the night
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[[ericcoliu]]

Here is my take:

New Year's embers
have fallen
into stillness --
a crying cat
pierces the night
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul

[agincourt]

[[agincourt]]