酷我-北美枫

[.行者.]

题前的话: 近日行者写篇博文介绍Robert Frost的Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening. 同时试着用中文翻译了一下, 斟酌润色一直在进行中... 发在这里, 有同好者, 希望共同切磋.

1. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening-Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know
His house is in the village though
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake

The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep

2. 雪夜林畔小驻－余光中译 // 雪夜过寒林 行者改余版 // 行者古体版(四联绝句一版)


想来我认识这座森林， // 想来我知道这座树林 // 我心知是哪家林
林主的庄宅就在邻村， // 它的主人就住在邻村 // 远有人居傍小村
却不会见我在此驻马， // 应不会见我在此驻马 // 擅自停车意难止
看他林中积雪的美景。 // 看那林中落雪的缤纷 // 原来披雪最销魂

我的小马一定颇惊讶： // 我的马儿一定在惊讶 // 四下无人我自知
四望不见有什么农家， // 四下里并没什么农家 // 暂停归路马迟迟
偏是一年最暗的黄昏， // 偏在一年最暗的时令 // 银湖玉树谁欲静
寒林和冰湖之间停下。 // 在寒林和冰湖间停下 // 夜色一年唯此时

它摇一摇身上的串铃， // 轻摇了摇身上的鸾铃 // 空林寂寂响鸾铃
问我这地方该不该停。 // 问我这是否真的该停 // 似问缘何在此停
此外只有轻风拂雪片， // 只是那微风碰落雪片 // 除却轻风无天籁
再也听不见其他声音。 // 万籁中竟无其它响声 // 枝间尽是雪来声

森林又暗又深真可羡， // 林子真可爱又深又暗 // 林深林暗惹心开
但我还要守一些诺言， // 我却要信守那些诺言 // 一诺千金兀自来
还要赶多少路才安眠， // 要赶许多路才能安眠 // 此去求眠路多少
还要赶多少路才安眠。 // 要赶许多路才能安眠 // 归程多少计难哉

NOTE

1. 按新声平仄通韵格(林村纷, 马讶家下, 令铃停声, 片暗言眠/林村魂, 止知迟时, 静铃停声, 籁开来哉), 也符合原诗AABA-BBCB-CCDC-DDXD的韵律(原文X处是D, 四联绝句体因为形式的原因X破掉-但用其它方式补救).
2. 过-经过, 访问, 即Stop by.
3. 如果按实际的日子算, 冬至那天是黑夜最长的, 也具有The darkest evening of the year.
4. 鸾铃-a set of bells which were attached to a horse or horse drawn vehicle.
5. 和风, 微风-easy wind
6. 人生处处是归程.
_________________
诗坛工匠: 行者无疆

[[头陀]]

题前的话: 近日行者写篇博文介绍Robert Frost的Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening. 同时试着用中文翻译了一下, 斟酌润色一直在进行中... 发在这里, 有同好者, 希望共同切磋.

1. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening-Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know
His house is in the village though
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake

The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep

2. 雪夜林畔小驻－余光中译 // 雪夜过寒林 行者改余版 // 行者古体版(四联绝句一版)


想来我认识这座森林， // 想来我知道这座树林 // 我心知是哪家林
林主的庄宅就在邻村， // 它的主人就住在邻村 // 远有人居傍小村
却不会见我在此驻马， // 应不会见我在此驻马 // 擅自停车意难止
看他林中积雪的美景。 // 看那林中落雪的缤纷 // 原来披雪最销魂

我的小马一定颇惊讶： // 我的马儿一定在惊讶 // 四下无人我自知
四望不见有什么农家， // 四下里并没什么农家 // 暂停归路马迟迟
偏是一年最暗的黄昏， // 偏在一年最暗的时令 // 银湖玉树谁欲静
寒林和冰湖之间停下。 // 在寒林和冰湖间停下 // 夜色一年唯此时

它摇一摇身上的串铃， // 轻摇了摇身上的鸾铃 // 空林寂寂响鸾铃
问我这地方该不该停。 // 问我这是否真的该停 // 似问缘何在此停
此外只有轻风拂雪片， // 只是那微风碰落雪片 // 除却轻风无天籁
再也听不见其他声音。 // 万籁中竟无其它响声 // 枝间尽是雪来声

森林又暗又深真可羡， // 林子真可爱又深又暗 // 林深林暗惹心开
但我还要守一些诺言， // 我却要信守那些诺言 // 一诺千金兀自来
还要赶多少路才安眠， // 要赶许多路才能安眠 // 此去求眠路多少
还要赶多少路才安眠。 // 要赶许多路才能安眠 // 归程多少计难哉

NOTE

1. 按新声平仄通韵格(林村纷, 马讶家下, 令铃停声, 片暗言眠/林村魂, 止知迟时, 静铃停声, 籁开来哉), 也符合原诗AABA-BBCB-CCDC-DDXD的韵律(原文X处是D, 四联绝句体因为形式的原因X破掉-但用其它方式补救).
2. 过-经过, 访问, 即Stop by.
3. 如果按实际的日子算, 冬至那天是黑夜最长的, 也具有The darkest evening of the year.
4. 鸾铃-a set of bells which were attached to a horse or horse drawn vehicle.
5. 和风, 微风-easy wind
6. 人生处处是归程.
_________________
诗坛工匠: 行者无疆

[桃熟流丹]

绝了！

我也试着先翻译呢，再看一下译的三个版本，我的汗直流：）

高手！佩服！
_________________
热闹处存冷眼，便省去苦心思。 冷落时存热心，便得到真趣味。
我的新浪博客：http://blog.sina.com.cn/njyya

[[桃熟流丹]]

绝了！

我也试着先翻译呢，再看一下译的三个版本，我的汗直流：）

高手！佩服！
_________________
热闹处存冷眼，便省去苦心思。 冷落时存热心，便得到真趣味。
我的新浪博客：http://blog.sina.com.cn/njyya

[.行者.]

呵呵, 谢丹兄进来捧场 期待丹兄的奉献, 呵呵.

等会儿, 行者再转些文字过来...
_________________
诗坛工匠: 行者无疆

[[头陀]]

呵呵, 谢丹兄进来捧场 期待丹兄的奉献, 呵呵.

等会儿, 行者再转些文字过来...
_________________
诗坛工匠: 行者无疆

[.行者.]

下面是行者博文"再读Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening"的第二部分...

题前的话: 和中国的近体格律诗一样, 传统的英文诗也有"格律"和章法. 行者以前曾有博文(英文诗格律一: 从William Wordsworth的诗The Daffodils看"Ti-Tum"四音步)介绍了一些英文诗的基本知识, 不了解但感兴趣的博友可以抽空再去看看.

再读Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening(二)

这首Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening(见[1], 行者找时间再翻译), 是典型的Rubaiyat风格的"抑扬格"四音步四句四段体[2].

整首诗有四段(stanza), 每段有四行(line), 每行有四个"抑扬格"音步(iambic feet).

"抑扬格"音步, 就是一组两个音节, 先轻后重[3], 记为Da-Dum或Ti Tum-类似'平仄'.

整首诗的韵律结构, 则是按AABA-BBCB-CCDC-DDDD组织, 即第一段第一二四行按A(这里是ō)押韵, 间以第三行的B(这里是ir); 第二段再按B押韵, 在间以C(这里是āk); 第三段按C押韵, 再间以D(这里是ēp); 最后一段再以D一韵到底. 环环相扣, 连绵不绝.

这首诗被认为是诗歌史上最"感人"的诗之一.

了解了它的结构和韵律, 再看看它的创作背景.

该诗据说是Frost于1922年在Vermont(那里如今成了Robert Frost Stone House Museum)创作, 于次年首次发表在New Hampshire一集里.

通篇通过想象, 利用比拟的手法[4], 向读者讲述了一个"冬天"的故事.

有意思的是, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening里面的冬景是写于六月的一个凌晨.

在彻夜未眠地写完他的长诗New Hampshire之后, 他走出来正看到了第一缕曙光, 于是灵感迸现.

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening诞生了.

据说前后只有几分钟.

"好象一切在幻觉中产生"[5], Frost后来回忆说.

这首Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, 是Frost他自己诗里的最爱.

在给Louis Untermeyer[6]的一封信里, Frost称自己的这首诗是"my best bid for remembrance".

据说这首诗和Frost的挚友也是诗人的Edward Thomas的诗Lights Out有关, 而Frost对Thomas的在"一战"里不幸阵亡痛心疾首.

尽管一般认为它关注的是对自然的一种投入和感激. 因为诗里的一些用词, 特别是结尾反复吟唱的"And miles to go before I sleep", 许多人认为它是关注死亡的诗, 更有甚者说是关于自杀的诗.

Frost对别人的评论不置可否. 他说, "simply stopped by a snowy wood and wrote the poem".

好诗就是这样, 无论古今中外, 即使不同的人, 在不同的时候, 不同的地点, 读来的感觉都是不一样的.

顺便地说, 著名歌手Céline Dion(电影Titanic主题曲歌唱者)有一曲Miles to Go (Before I Sleep), 灵感明显来自Frost的这首诗.

(完)

NOTE

1. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening // 下面的 "|" 被行者用来分隔音步. 跨同一词时用"-"代"|"

Whose woods | there are | I think | I know
His home | is in | the vil-lage though
He will | not see | me stop-ping here
To watch | his woods | fill up | with snow

My lit-tle horse | must think | it queer
To stop | with-out | a farm-house near
Between | the woods | and fro-zen lake
The dark-est eve-ning of | the year

He gives | his har-ness bells | a shake
To ask | if there | is some | mistake
The only | other | sound's | the sweep
Of eas-y wind | and down-y flake

The woods | are love-ly, dark | and deep
But I | have prom-ises | to keep
And miles | to go | before | I sleep
And miles | to go | before | I sleep

2. Iambic tetrameter in the Rubaiyat stanza, which was created by Edward Fitzgerald (1809–1883). "Rubai"本身有Arabic的词根, 意思就是"四". Rubaiyat, 是一波斯诗集, 类似中国的"诗三百", 多数是指Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam(1048–1123, 也有时指Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Balkhi-Rumi, 1207–1273, 的诗集). 代表的是波斯诗(Persian poetry)的一种主要风格和形式. 听过诵"古兰"的朋友, 即使听不懂, 也能感受到那抑扬顿错的音韵之美.
3. An unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable or a short syllable followed by a long syllable, 见AHD.
4. Imagery and personification are prominent in the work.
5. It was as if I'd had a hallucination. Hallucination - Perception of visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, or gustatory experiences without an external stimulus and with a compelling sense of their reality, usually resulting from a mental disorder or as a response to a drug, 见AHD.
6. Louis Untermeyer (1885-1977) was an American author, poet, anthologist, and editor. 也是The Road Not Taken-A selection of Robert Frost's Poems一书里an Introduction and Commentary的作者.
7. Philip Edward Thomas (1878–1917) was an Anglo-Welsh poet and journalist. Following the outbreak of World War I Thomas enlisted in the army in 1915, and he is considered one of the war poets, although few of his poems deal directly with his war experiences. He was killed in action during the Battle of Arras (4/9/1917), soon after he arrived in France, 见wiki的有关介绍.

Edward Thomas: Lights Out (略)
_________________
诗坛工匠: 行者无疆

[[头陀]]

下面是行者博文"再读Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening"的第二部分...

题前的话: 和中国的近体格律诗一样, 传统的英文诗也有"格律"和章法. 行者以前曾有博文(英文诗格律一: 从William Wordsworth的诗The Daffodils看"Ti-Tum"四音步)介绍了一些英文诗的基本知识, 不了解但感兴趣的博友可以抽空再去看看.

再读Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening(二)

这首Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening(见[1], 行者找时间再翻译), 是典型的Rubaiyat风格的"抑扬格"四音步四句四段体[2].

整首诗有四段(stanza), 每段有四行(line), 每行有四个"抑扬格"音步(iambic feet).

"抑扬格"音步, 就是一组两个音节, 先轻后重[3], 记为Da-Dum或Ti Tum-类似'平仄'.

整首诗的韵律结构, 则是按AABA-BBCB-CCDC-DDDD组织, 即第一段第一二四行按A(这里是ō)押韵, 间以第三行的B(这里是ir); 第二段再按B押韵, 在间以C(这里是āk); 第三段按C押韵, 再间以D(这里是ēp); 最后一段再以D一韵到底. 环环相扣, 连绵不绝.

这首诗被认为是诗歌史上最"感人"的诗之一.

了解了它的结构和韵律, 再看看它的创作背景.

该诗据说是Frost于1922年在Vermont(那里如今成了Robert Frost Stone House Museum)创作, 于次年首次发表在New Hampshire一集里.

通篇通过想象, 利用比拟的手法[4], 向读者讲述了一个"冬天"的故事.

有意思的是, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening里面的冬景是写于六月的一个凌晨.

在彻夜未眠地写完他的长诗New Hampshire之后, 他走出来正看到了第一缕曙光, 于是灵感迸现.

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening诞生了.

据说前后只有几分钟.

"好象一切在幻觉中产生"[5], Frost后来回忆说.

这首Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, 是Frost他自己诗里的最爱.

在给Louis Untermeyer[6]的一封信里, Frost称自己的这首诗是"my best bid for remembrance".

据说这首诗和Frost的挚友也是诗人的Edward Thomas的诗Lights Out有关, 而Frost对Thomas的在"一战"里不幸阵亡痛心疾首.

尽管一般认为它关注的是对自然的一种投入和感激. 因为诗里的一些用词, 特别是结尾反复吟唱的"And miles to go before I sleep", 许多人认为它是关注死亡的诗, 更有甚者说是关于自杀的诗.

Frost对别人的评论不置可否. 他说, "simply stopped by a snowy wood and wrote the poem".

好诗就是这样, 无论古今中外, 即使不同的人, 在不同的时候, 不同的地点, 读来的感觉都是不一样的.

顺便地说, 著名歌手Céline Dion(电影Titanic主题曲歌唱者)有一曲Miles to Go (Before I Sleep), 灵感明显来自Frost的这首诗.

(完)

NOTE

1. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening // 下面的 "|" 被行者用来分隔音步. 跨同一词时用"-"代"|"

Whose woods | there are | I think | I know
His home | is in | the vil-lage though
He will | not see | me stop-ping here
To watch | his woods | fill up | with snow

My lit-tle horse | must think | it queer
To stop | with-out | a farm-house near
Between | the woods | and fro-zen lake
The dark-est eve-ning of | the year

He gives | his har-ness bells | a shake
To ask | if there | is some | mistake
The only | other | sound's | the sweep
Of eas-y wind | and down-y flake

The woods | are love-ly, dark | and deep
But I | have prom-ises | to keep
And miles | to go | before | I sleep
And miles | to go | before | I sleep

2. Iambic tetrameter in the Rubaiyat stanza, which was created by Edward Fitzgerald (1809–1883). "Rubai"本身有Arabic的词根, 意思就是"四". Rubaiyat, 是一波斯诗集, 类似中国的"诗三百", 多数是指Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam(1048–1123, 也有时指Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Balkhi-Rumi, 1207–1273, 的诗集). 代表的是波斯诗(Persian poetry)的一种主要风格和形式. 听过诵"古兰"的朋友, 即使听不懂, 也能感受到那抑扬顿错的音韵之美.
3. An unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable or a short syllable followed by a long syllable, 见AHD.
4. Imagery and personification are prominent in the work.
5. It was as if I'd had a hallucination. Hallucination - Perception of visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, or gustatory experiences without an external stimulus and with a compelling sense of their reality, usually resulting from a mental disorder or as a response to a drug, 见AHD.
6. Louis Untermeyer (1885-1977) was an American author, poet, anthologist, and editor. 也是The Road Not Taken-A selection of Robert Frost's Poems一书里an Introduction and Commentary的作者.
7. Philip Edward Thomas (1878–1917) was an Anglo-Welsh poet and journalist. Following the outbreak of World War I Thomas enlisted in the army in 1915, and he is considered one of the war poets, although few of his poems deal directly with his war experiences. He was killed in action during the Battle of Arras (4/9/1917), soon after he arrived in France, 见wiki的有关介绍.

Edward Thomas: Lights Out (略)
_________________
诗坛工匠: 行者无疆

[.行者.]

在行者的"再读Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening(一)"里, 曾提到Robert Frost诗选集"The Road Not Taken". 这部诗集里, 有美国诗人Louis Untermeyer的Introduction and Commentary. 关于"Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening", Untermeyer讲了如下的话-Commentary by Louis Untermeyer:

Although they were first printed in two different books and are not connected in any way, "Sitting by a Bush in Broad Sunlight" and "Stopping by a Woods in Snowy Evening" might be a matching pair of poems. Even the titles supplement each other.

On the surface, both seem to be simple, descriptive verses, records of close observation, graphic and homely pictures. Both use the simplest terms and commonest words: in the two poems there are just four words of three syllables; twenty-nine are two-syllable words; and about two hundred words are words of one syllable. But both poems are deeply meditative; both add far-reaching meanings to the homely music. "Sitting by a Bush in Broad Sunlight" ends on a note of persistent faith. "Stopping by a Woods in Snowy Evening", one of the most quietly moving of Frost's lyrics, uses its superb craftsmanship to come to a climax of responsibility: the promises to be kept, the obligations to be fulfilled. Few poems have said so much in so little.

行者以为, 这是所有介绍这首诗里最简明扼要的, 可以作为一个参考...
_________________
诗坛工匠: 行者无疆

[[头陀]]

在行者的"再读Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening(一)"里, 曾提到Robert Frost诗选集"The Road Not Taken". 这部诗集里, 有美国诗人Louis Untermeyer的Introduction and Commentary. 关于"Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening", Untermeyer讲了如下的话-Commentary by Louis Untermeyer:

Although they were first printed in two different books and are not connected in any way, "Sitting by a Bush in Broad Sunlight" and "Stopping by a Woods in Snowy Evening" might be a matching pair of poems. Even the titles supplement each other.

On the surface, both seem to be simple, descriptive verses, records of close observation, graphic and homely pictures. Both use the simplest terms and commonest words: in the two poems there are just four words of three syllables; twenty-nine are two-syllable words; and about two hundred words are words of one syllable. But both poems are deeply meditative; both add far-reaching meanings to the homely music. "Sitting by a Bush in Broad Sunlight" ends on a note of persistent faith. "Stopping by a Woods in Snowy Evening", one of the most quietly moving of Frost's lyrics, uses its superb craftsmanship to come to a climax of responsibility: the promises to be kept, the obligations to be fulfilled. Few poems have said so much in so little.

行者以为, 这是所有介绍这首诗里最简明扼要的, 可以作为一个参考...
_________________
诗坛工匠: 行者无疆

[.行者.]

抄一段余光中先生的说法:

《雪夜林畔小驻》是现代英语始终公认的短篇杰作。此诗之难能可贵，在于意境含蓄，用语天然，而格律严谨。意境则深入浅出，貌似写景，却别有寓意。佛洛斯特曾为一诗之成，“兴于喜悦，而终于澈悟。”验之此诗，最可印证。……至于格律，用的是“抑扬四步格”（iambic tetrameter），这倒并不稀奇。奇的是韵脚的排列-每段的第一、第二、第四行互押，至于第三行，则于次段执第一、第二、第四行相押，如是互为消长，交错呼应，到了末段又合为一体，四行通押。这样押韵本来也不太难，难在韵脚都落的十分自然，毫无强凑之感。这首诗要译成中文，颇不容易。
_________________
诗坛工匠: 行者无疆

[[头陀]]

抄一段余光中先生的说法:

《雪夜林畔小驻》是现代英语始终公认的短篇杰作。此诗之难能可贵，在于意境含蓄，用语天然，而格律严谨。意境则深入浅出，貌似写景，却别有寓意。佛洛斯特曾为一诗之成，“兴于喜悦，而终于澈悟。”验之此诗，最可印证。……至于格律，用的是“抑扬四步格”（iambic tetrameter），这倒并不稀奇。奇的是韵脚的排列-每段的第一、第二、第四行互押，至于第三行，则于次段执第一、第二、第四行相押，如是互为消长，交错呼应，到了末段又合为一体，四行通押。这样押韵本来也不太难，难在韵脚都落的十分自然，毫无强凑之感。这首诗要译成中文，颇不容易。
_________________
诗坛工匠: 行者无疆

[李拜六]

.行者.,可能用五言翻译效果会更好些.
_________________
新人出也

[[里太白夜访肚子美]]

.行者.,可能用五言翻译效果会更好些.
_________________
新人出也

[桃熟流丹]

贴下来学习去。。。。。。
_________________
热闹处存冷眼，便省去苦心思。 冷落时存热心，便得到真趣味。
我的新浪博客：http://blog.sina.com.cn/njyya

[[桃熟流丹]]

贴下来学习去。。。。。。
_________________
热闹处存冷眼，便省去苦心思。 冷落时存热心，便得到真趣味。
我的新浪博客：http://blog.sina.com.cn/njyya

[.行者.]

[[头陀]]

[.行者.]

[[头陀]]

[李拜六]

.行者., 五言的翻译得挺好,四言比较难.等我有空时琢磨琢磨,也译一下,给你做个陪衬.
_________________
新人出也

[[里太白夜访肚子美]]

.行者., 五言的翻译得挺好,四言比较难.等我有空时琢磨琢磨,也译一下,给你做个陪衬.
_________________
新人出也

[.行者.]

[[头陀]]

[秋叶]

哈哈，行者兄原来是诗歌翻译的高手， 也高兴看到各位在这讨及翻译问题的讨论，学习了。
该诗我多年前也曾翻译过，如果能找到定贴出讨教。

[[我还没有昵称]]

哈哈，行者兄原来是诗歌翻译的高手， 也高兴看到各位在这讨及翻译问题的讨论，学习了。
该诗我多年前也曾翻译过，如果能找到定贴出讨教。

[.行者.]

[[头陀]]