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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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 发表于: 星期四 十一月 06, 2008 8:32 am 发表主题: deleted |
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deleted
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Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul
最后进行编辑的是 ericcoliu on 星期日 三月 21, 2010 8:18 pm, 总计第 19 次编辑 |
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christine[christine]
christine作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2008-02-25
帖子: 304
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| 发表于: 星期四 十一月 06, 2008 9:57 am 发表主题: |
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What a piece of postmodernist writing!
You're fond of playing with genre writing, right?
A short story within a short story in diary format mixed with poetry. |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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| 发表于: 星期四 十一月 06, 2008 10:58 am 发表主题: |
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| christine 写到: |
What a piece of postmodernist writing! |
Not necessarily true. Just a small step towards multi-genre writing.
| christine 写到: |
A short story within a short story in diary format mixed with poetry. |
If you read my story thoroughly and carefully, I believe you’ll find more than those you mentioned of your reply.
Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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| 发表于: 星期五 十一月 07, 2008 12:49 pm 发表主题: |
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I've revised my story.
I hope that you’ll get “la petite mort” when reading my story.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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christine[christine]
christine作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2008-02-25
帖子: 304
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| 发表于: 星期五 十一月 07, 2008 1:44 pm 发表主题: Re: A Diary of La Petite Mort(Disclaimer:Fictional Events) |
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| ericcoliu 写到: |
If you read my story thoroughly and carefully, I believe you’ll find more than those you mentioned of your reply.
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Shifting perspectives.
| ericcoliu 写到: |
Friday, April 1, 2005
I couldn’t believe what I had heard this afternoon. You asked me out on a romantic adventure to Wahata Beach this coming Sunday. This is not an April Fools’ joke! I know that you have discovered the depths of my love for you.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
He got a final notice, which said that he would be flunked if he failed submitting a poem for his make-up mid-term exam. He finished his poem, I and Calliope in Harmonious Rapture, before midnight and emailed it to his bitchy teacher.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
As he passed by John, John gave him a wicked smile and shouted out, “Watch the teeth!” Before he could throw John’s head against the wall, he was stopped by a male teacher. All of his classmates were stunned. Throughout the rest of the day, no one dared to say anything in front of him.
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A shift in a character's feelings or attitudes. Now, the story is written from the third person limited perspective. |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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| 发表于: 星期六 十一月 08, 2008 8:55 am 发表主题: Re: A Diary of La Petite Mort(Disclaimer:Fictional Events) |
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| christine 写到: |
A shift in a character's feelings or attitudes. Now, the story is written from the third person limited perspective. |
Generally speaking, every time when there is a shift in a character's feelings or attitudes, I shift the narrator’s perspective. I did so not only between diary entries, as those above you referred to, but also within a diary entry.
For example,
| ericcoliu 写到: |
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
I zoomed in on her, seeing her moving up and down with slow, circular movements and her man’s hands sliding up from her breasts on to her shoulders and altering her rhythm. This rhythm became faster and faster and then broke off.
I couldn’t stand it anymore. I opened my desk, took out a pocket knife, rushed down to the basement parking lot, and found his piercingly red Jaguar. I stooped down to plunge the sharp tip of the knife with climactic fierceness into one tire, the second, the third, and then into the fourth. Fuck! It felt good. |
By the way, I employed a lot of literary devices to advance the plot, indicate the narrator's the state of the mind and mood, ...
So, keep finding out ...
Hopefully, you'll enjoy the read and experience "la petite mort." while discovering these secret devices.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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| 发表于: 星期六 十一月 08, 2008 10:32 am 发表主题: Re: A Diary of La Petite Mort(Disclaimer:Fictional Events) |
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| christine 写到: |
Shifting perspectives.
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Hi! Christine:
One more thing about shifting perspectives is that it's my attempt to dismantle the motto -- consistency in perspective -- rigidly followed by participants at writing workshops and aspiring writers.
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Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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浴恩福[浴恩福]
浴恩福作品集
六品通判
（官儿做大了，保持廉洁哦）
注册时间: 2008-05-08
帖子: 123
来自: 多倫多
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| 发表于: 星期六 十一月 08, 2008 2:04 pm 发表主题: Re: A Diary of La Petite Mort(Disclaimer:Fictional Events) |
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| ericcoliu 写到: |
By the way, I employed a lot of literary devices to advance the plot, indicate the narrator's the state of the mind and mood, ...
So, keep finding out ...
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| ericcoliu 写到: |
A Diary of La Petite Mort (1st Draft)
Monday, February 14, 2005
I AM A SICK MAN … I am a wicked man.
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These are the opening sentences of Notes from Underground by Dostoyevsky.
You make a inter-textual reference to the Underground Man, which indicates the narrator's the unstable state of mind caused by alienation and isolation.
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報三恩、耕三大福田 |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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| 发表于: 星期日 十一月 09, 2008 9:59 am 发表主题: Re: A Diary of La Petite Mort(Disclaimer:Fictional Events) |
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| 浴恩福 写到: |
These are the opening sentences of Notes from Underground by Dostoyevsky.
You make a inter-textual reference to the Underground Man, which indicates the narrator's the unstable state of mind caused by alienation and isolation. |
Yes, a discerning for my story.
Inter-textual references aside, I employ intra-textual references as well.
| ericcoliu 写到: |
So, keep finding out ...
Hopefully, you'll enjoy the read and experience "la petite mort." while discovering these secret devices. |
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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浴恩福[浴恩福]
浴恩福作品集
六品通判
（官儿做大了，保持廉洁哦）
注册时间: 2008-05-08
帖子: 123
来自: 多倫多
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| 发表于: 星期一 十一月 10, 2008 10:24 am 发表主题: Re: A Diary of La Petite Mort (Disclaimer:Fictional Events) |
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| ericcoliu 写到: |
Inter-textual references aside, I employ intra-textual references as well.
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| ericcoliu 写到: |
Thursday, April 14, 2005
He got a final notice, which said that he would be flunked if he failed submitting a poem for his make-up mid-term exam. He finished his poem, I and Calliope in Harmonious Rapture, before midnight and emailed it to his bitchy teacher.
A choir in the sky.
A garden in the sea.
An island in our bed.
A lark in my chest.
A throbbing agony
caressed by your tongue.
Moans and pain
born to your laughter
raised in your tears.
Time and silence.
Clocks ticking.
......
Wednesday, March 18, 2005
Clocks ticked
Time did not pass
The sun rose, the sun set
But the shadow remained unmoved
Clocks tick
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Strikingly contrasting feelings toward "time's passing" expressed in the above passages, which are both intra-textual and inter-textual references (to Champagne's and 温暖的水獸's works).
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報三恩、耕三大福田 |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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| 发表于: 星期三 十一月 12, 2008 7:42 am 发表主题: Re: A Diary of La Petite Mort (Disclaimer:Fictional Events) |
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| 浴恩福 写到: |
Strikingly contrasting feelings toward "time's passing" expressed in the above passages, which are both intra-textual and inter-textual references (to Champagne's and 温暖的水獸's works). |
Glad to know you grasped this contrasting feelings.
| ericcoliu 写到: |
Today made my day.
During the office hour, I had the most satisfactory discussion with my American Poetry teacher about Robert Bly’s “leaping poetry,” a poetry that is rooted in the surrealist tradition. I was literally struck by her insightful comments. Yes, leaping poetry is more than a leap from one image than another. It is first and foremost about images conceived by an animal native to the wild imagination.
After school, on my way home, I accidentally, no, was DESTINED to encounter you. You are my Calliope. My first leaping poem, Throbbing Agony, is dedicated to you and one day you’ll receive it from me.
I am enveloped in pleasure
as grass is wrapped in morning dew.
I am a bard riding a dragon,
flying across time and space.
I can’t tell you where --
as if I appeared where I am now.
Daylight streams into my room.
I must have experienced la petite mort
after Calliope had caressed my secret spots.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
He got a final notice, which said that he would be flunked if he failed submitting a poem for his make-up mid-term exam. He finished his poem, I and Calliope in Harmonious Rapture, before midnight and emailed it to his bitchy teacher.
A choir in the sky.
A garden in the sea.
An island in our bed.
A lark in my chest.
A throbbing agony
caressed by your tongue.
Moans and pain
born to your laughter
raised in your tears.
Time and silence.
Clocks ticking.
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Another intratual reference.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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川生[川生]
川生作品集
七品按察司
（我开始管这里的事儿了）
注册时间: 2008-09-18
帖子: 72
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| 发表于: 星期六 十一月 15, 2008 3:34 pm 发表主题: Re: A Diary of La Petite Mort (Disclaimer:Fictional Events) |
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| ericcoliu 写到: |
A Diary of La Petite Mort (1st Draft)
Monday, February 14, 2005
I AM A SICK MAN … I am a wicked man. A coward. I don’t dare to tell you I like … No … LOVE YOU. Instead, I only watch you through the eyepiece of my telescope. Every night I sleep beside you but wake up alone in my room.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
As Plato once said, “Love is a serious mental disease.” I’ve been inflicted with this disease for three months. I am a mentally sick man.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Now I am recovered from that sickness and aspire to be a writer. I have just emailed my Creative Writing teacher a short story for my make-up final exam.
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I must admit, upon first reading your story in the form of diary entries, I was baffled at certain points. I think I need to re-read it.
Is this diary deliberately written from the perspective of a "mentally sick" man?
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Lines go off in all directions. |
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温暖的水獸[温暖的水獸]
温暖的水獸作品集
五品知州
（再努力一把就是四品大员了！）
注册时间: 2008-04-23
帖子: 153
来自: 水族箱
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| 发表于: 星期一 十一月 17, 2008 1:30 pm 发表主题: Re: A Diary of La Petite Mort (Disclaimer:Fictional Events) |
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| 川生 写到: |
I must admit, upon first reading your story in the form of diary entries, I was baffled at certain points. I think I need to re-read it. |
Yes, you need to read it over and over again.
| 川生 写到: |
Is this diary deliberately written from the perspective of a "mentally sick" man? |
Professor Literature draws on figures of speech, which are heavily dependent on Platonic view of Love, to deliberately complicate the protagonist's shifting perspectives already employed in the story.
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舌頭那匹温暖的水獸 馴養地在小小的水族箱中 蠕動
那獸說：是的 我願意 |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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| 发表于: 星期三 十一月 19, 2008 5:39 pm 发表主题: Re: A Diary of La Petite Mort (Disclaimer:Fictional Events) |
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| 川生 写到: |
Is this diary deliberately written from the perspective of a "mentally sick" man? |
It's left to the reader to decide if this diary is written from the perspective of a "mentally sick" man?
As 温暖的水獸 said in his/her reply, I deliberately complicated the protagonist's shifting perspectives.
But, I'll think over your comments about POV and revise my story later.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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| 发表于: 星期四 十一月 20, 2008 12:07 pm 发表主题: Re: A Diary of La Petite Mort (Disclaimer:Fictional Events) |
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| ericcoliu 写到: |
But, I'll think over your comments about POV and revise my story later. |
I've made changes to some of the diary entries, in which the reader might feel flummoxed by their POVs.
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Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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