酷我-北美枫

[星子]

Last weekend I was very busy. But I was glad to keep written a lot.

I attended Ellen's workshop, and found it very interesting.

I wrote it down here is for later to continue excise by myself.

First she wrote down a very simply sentence to let us develop our own version with imagination.

She wrote: She walks into the room.

I scraped: The blue angel descends in unfolding sheer wings into a glass circling room on the top hill.

Then she asked each to read it out and she gave the comments.

I wondered if mine had the grammar errors, such as “unfolding” should be “unfolded”,
“circling” be “circled” . She told me both worked. But she prefer “ing” because it gave the impression of “going on and on” more magic and present feeling.

Her comments kept me read words more carefully and wisely. Sometimes different use of words made a big difference.

Another excise was to ask each of us write down 10 nouns, 10 verbs. Then two of us switch the list of 10 verbs. We need to use our own 10 nouns and switched 10 verbs to make some interesting sentences or stories.

My buddy gave me more verbs related to Mine field, such as Haul, dump, load, mill….

So I wrote:

The boy dreamt the moon was hauled by the white geese, when all fish jump out of water, a red bunny blasted into a garden and sky turned into red… her woke up with these fishy weird images, he tried to dump them out of his head…

The major excise is to critique poems in a group and tried to rewrite an improved one.
I brought “the farewell symphony” since I was not sure about the last verse. I was glad to get the honest suggestion and worked it out to a better version.

After the workshop, I talked with Ellen. She said “I think you have a wonderful talent in writing and poetry; your struggle with the English language is not a handicap, but something that will help you create
your own style and imagery.”

I found a lot to learn. And I enjoy to learn. Sometimes I agree with Ellen, I surely create my own style and imagery.
_________________

[[ANNA]]

Last weekend I was very busy. But I was glad to keep written a lot.

I attended Ellen's workshop, and found it very interesting.

I wrote it down here is for later to continue excise by myself.

First she wrote down a very simply sentence to let us develop our own version with imagination.

She wrote: She walks into the room.

I scraped: The blue angel descends in unfolding sheer wings into a glass circling room on the top hill.

Then she asked each to read it out and she gave the comments.

I wondered if mine had the grammar errors, such as “unfolding” should be “unfolded”,
“circling” be “circled” . She told me both worked. But she prefer “ing” because it gave the impression of “going on and on” more magic and present feeling.

Her comments kept me read words more carefully and wisely. Sometimes different use of words made a big difference.

Another excise was to ask each of us write down 10 nouns, 10 verbs. Then two of us switch the list of 10 verbs. We need to use our own 10 nouns and switched 10 verbs to make some interesting sentences or stories.

My buddy gave me more verbs related to Mine field, such as Haul, dump, load, mill….

So I wrote:

The boy dreamt the moon was hauled by the white geese, when all fish jump out of water, a red bunny blasted into a garden and sky turned into red… her woke up with these fishy weird images, he tried to dump them out of his head…

The major excise is to critique poems in a group and tried to rewrite an improved one.
I brought “the farewell symphony” since I was not sure about the last verse. I was glad to get the honest suggestion and worked it out to a better version.

After the workshop, I talked with Ellen. She said “I think you have a wonderful talent in writing and poetry; your struggle with the English language is not a handicap, but something that will help you create
your own style and imagery.”

I found a lot to learn. And I enjoy to learn. Sometimes I agree with Ellen, I surely create my own style and imagery.
_________________