酷我-北美枫

星子 · 酷我！I made it！ 注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto

I halt and listen--
to each thin leaf
and falling dew

lilac dangles up the slope
and shadows beckon the moon

zephyr harps on the lake
and ripples draw gentle notes

your orchard unveils
its reddish ripeness
and a gleamy trail
looms in deep woods

before a nightingale sings,
I fall for evening primrose.

何兆龙 · 发表于: 星期三三月 23, 2005 1:00 pm 发表主题:

清新自然！
不要最后两句会怎样？这么意象丰富的诗，不必再感慨那么一下子。

星子 · 发表于: 星期三三月 23, 2005 1:20 pm 发表主题:

Thanks dragon. Taking in your suggestion and deleted these last two lines.
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何兆龙 · 发表于: 星期三三月 23, 2005 3:45 pm 发表主题:

Anna, that is a question, not a suggestion, hehe, I am asking you for suggestion. U don't have to delete it.

When I read it the first time, I was attracted by those beautiful images u created. But all of a sudden, u are back to the old track, old means traditional of course, we write poems like this for thousands of years, that is why I tell my foreign friends that we don't have pure landscape poems, we always add some "EDUCATIONAL" tail, which is unneccessary, for me, at least.

星子 · 发表于: 星期三三月 23, 2005 8:50 pm 发表主题:

Thanks Dragon again. I revised it again. Hope it better.
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星子 · 发表于: 星期二七月 18, 2006 4:43 pm 发表主题:

今天收到 QUILL POETRY 书册...很精美

据编辑说共有投稿2000首诗, 80首入选..这首诗被选上,我很高兴.....

http://www.quillspoetry.com/
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frankjiang · 发表于: 星期四七月 20, 2006 6:36 pm 发表主题:

很美的诗，不过说实话，好几个单词我要查字典。
要加倍的学习啊。谢谢星子的好诗。
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星子 · 发表于: 星期五七月 21, 2006 10:36 pm 发表主题:

Thanks frank
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