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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期一 八月 16, 2004 9:25 pm 发表主题: Nostalgia (revision?) |
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--revision--
Nostalgia is a growing tree,
Its branches are over the tall fence.
I keep cutting and trimming them,
The falling fragments bedew my face.
The branches are over the tall fence,
For that lantern lit in a distant home.
Who keeps filling oil into it?
I am embedded in its light cocoon.
I keep immerging in it,
to wrap my shattered shadow inside.
The weeping willows bedew my face.
A growing tree, nostalgia is.
------old-(try to be a pantoum, but failed)
Nostalgia is a growing tree,
Its branches are over the tall fence.
I keep cutting and trimming them,
The falling fragments bedew my face.
The branches are over the tall fence,
For that lantern lit in the far.
Who keeps filling oil into it?
I am embedded in its light cocoon.
I keep cutting and trimming them,
To fade my shattered shadow inside.
The falling fragments bedew my face.
A growing tree, nostalgia is.
(which is better?)
最后进行编辑的是 星子 on 星期二 八月 17, 2004 8:48 am, 总计第 1 次编辑 |
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高岸[我还没有昵称] 高岸作品集 二品总督总管 (回首人生,前途在望)
注册时间: 2004-06-29 帖子: 4398 来自: 多伦多
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发表于: 星期一 八月 16, 2004 9:42 pm 发表主题: |
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“Nostalgia is a growing tree”
Good imagination. |
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wthomas[阿温] wthomas作品集 九品县令 (一不小心,做了官儿了。)
注册时间: 2004-08-15 帖子: 10
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发表于: 星期一 八月 16, 2004 10:29 pm 发表主题: |
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“Nostalgia is a growing tree”
乡愁是破碎的、点点脑海的星光。 |
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语风万里[爱谁谁] 语风万里作品集 三品按察使 (天,你是斑竹吧?)
注册时间: 2004-07-19 帖子: 877 来自: Beijing,China
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发表于: 星期一 八月 16, 2004 11:36 pm 发表主题: |
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乡愁也是点点的无奈。 _________________ 漫是星光,曲水流觞,一肚花雕眼迷茫。
风过回廊,似歌吟唱,半院黄花满院香。
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梅边吹笛[瀑布] 梅边吹笛作品集 四品府丞 (封疆大吏也!)
注册时间: 2004-06-16 帖子: 307 来自: 安顺
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发表于: 星期二 八月 17, 2004 12:56 am 发表主题: |
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哇闪,我不懂英语啊! _________________ http://www.toppoem.com/bbs/list.asp?boardid=107梅边吹笛
http://hyxcw.net/cgi-bin/forums.cgi?forum=92蛙声与蝉鸣 |
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星子[ANNA] 星子作品集 酷我!I made it!
注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto
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发表于: 星期二 八月 17, 2004 8:49 am 发表主题: |
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Thanks all.
I posted 2 versions, hope you can let me know which is better. |
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