酷我-北美枫

Blue Ice · 发表于: 星期日十二月 11, 2005 4:40 pm 发表主题: Snowflake

Snowflake

‘Is it snow
or flower?’
the one is staring at
the other

in different eyes
I am catching different colors
one is gray
and the other is nacarat

雪花

‘是雪,
还是花?’
一个
注视着
另一个

从不同的眼睛
我捕捉到不同的色彩
一束沮丧的灰
一束
是鲜艳的橘红

秋叶 · 发表于: 星期二十二月 13, 2005 3:29 am 发表主题: Re: Snowflake

Blue Ice · 发表于: 星期二十二月 13, 2005 10:40 am 发表主题:

thanks 秋叶, i will
do you think this one is better?

Snowflake

Is it snow
or is it flower?
One is staring at
the other;

different eyes
catch different colors;
one is gray
the other nacarat.

这是我贴到西人网站后按他们建议改的.

雪泥

actually I have recited the original writing to my husband while he was by me,he said it sounded little odd,so do I. I think the second one is better

Blue Ice · 发表于: 星期三十二月 14, 2005 10:55 pm 发表主题:

hi, Michelle Reisdorf, thanks for you comments.