酷我-北美枫

[下雨的樟树]

普拉斯《言词》的不同的中文翻译：金舟/赵琼 岛子/绿豆



Words

Axes
After whose stroke the wood rings,
And the echoes!
Echoes traveling
Off from the center like horses.
The sap
Wells like tears, like the
Water striving
To re-establish its mirror
Over the rock
That drops and turns,
A white skull,
Eaten by weedy greens.
Years later I
Encounter them on the road-
Words dry and riderless,
The indefatigable hoof-taps.
While
From the bottom of the pool, fixed stars
Govern a life.



1：言词

翻译作者：金舟


斧头
在它将木头敲响以后
振荡回声！
回声外传
象马儿自中心跑散。
树汁
涌出如泪，象
水正努力
重建它的镜子
在岩石上面
滴落旋转，
一个白色的头骨，
被蔓延的绿蚕食。
多年以后我
在路上遇到它们—
言词干瘪不能驾驭，
马蹄轻拍不疲不倦
而
从这水坑之底，不变的星星
将一个生命统管。





2：话语
翻译作者：赵琼 岛子

斧子
在砍伐树木之后
传来回声
回声扩散
马蹄般向远方奔驰。
树液是我的眼泪，
在流尽之后，
努力恢复平静的面孔
象镜子
映现出我心中的石块，
它落下去，
翻转成一颗白色头颅，
为丛生的青草所吞噬。
多年之后，我
在路上遇到它们
话语枯竭，没有了骑手，
只有不倦的马蹄踏踏作响。
而那深潭之底，
众多的星星支配着
你的一生。

西尔维亚.普拉斯(Sylvia Plath)的诗
选自《美国自白派诗选》



3：词语
翻译作者：绿豆
斧头
在对木的年轮的击砍之后，
和着回声！
回声四散
离中点远去，有如马匹。

汁液
涌现如泪水，如
清泉竭力冲出
去修复它的明镜
于石子之上

跌落，滚动，
一颗白颅骨，
为疯长的绿色所吞噬。
数年以后,我
在途中遭遇它们---

枯竭无主的词语，
不懈的马蹄
而此时
恒星们，正从池塘之底
统辖着一种生活。
_________________
http://miaoyong.poco.cn/

[[下雨的樟树]]

普拉斯《言词》的不同的中文翻译：金舟/赵琼 岛子/绿豆



Words

Axes
After whose stroke the wood rings,
And the echoes!
Echoes traveling
Off from the center like horses.
The sap
Wells like tears, like the
Water striving
To re-establish its mirror
Over the rock
That drops and turns,
A white skull,
Eaten by weedy greens.
Years later I
Encounter them on the road-
Words dry and riderless,
The indefatigable hoof-taps.
While
From the bottom of the pool, fixed stars
Govern a life.



1：言词

翻译作者：金舟


斧头
在它将木头敲响以后
振荡回声！
回声外传
象马儿自中心跑散。
树汁
涌出如泪，象
水正努力
重建它的镜子
在岩石上面
滴落旋转，
一个白色的头骨，
被蔓延的绿蚕食。
多年以后我
在路上遇到它们—
言词干瘪不能驾驭，
马蹄轻拍不疲不倦
而
从这水坑之底，不变的星星
将一个生命统管。





2：话语
翻译作者：赵琼 岛子

斧子
在砍伐树木之后
传来回声
回声扩散
马蹄般向远方奔驰。
树液是我的眼泪，
在流尽之后，
努力恢复平静的面孔
象镜子
映现出我心中的石块，
它落下去，
翻转成一颗白色头颅，
为丛生的青草所吞噬。
多年之后，我
在路上遇到它们
话语枯竭，没有了骑手，
只有不倦的马蹄踏踏作响。
而那深潭之底，
众多的星星支配着
你的一生。

西尔维亚.普拉斯(Sylvia Plath)的诗
选自《美国自白派诗选》



3：词语
翻译作者：绿豆
斧头
在对木的年轮的击砍之后，
和着回声！
回声四散
离中点远去，有如马匹。

汁液
涌现如泪水，如
清泉竭力冲出
去修复它的明镜
于石子之上

跌落，滚动，
一颗白颅骨，
为疯长的绿色所吞噬。
数年以后,我
在途中遭遇它们---

枯竭无主的词语，
不懈的马蹄
而此时
恒星们，正从池塘之底
统辖着一种生活。
_________________
http://miaoyong.poco.cn/

[星子]

我的个人浅见。。。

金舟的比较忠于原文，但是金老师领悟了，还是没有，从此我看不出来。。。所谓一字一句翻译。。。这是我读金老师的一些翻译作品的印象。

大家继续评。。。另请教一下自己对原文的理解。
_________________

[[ANNA]]

我的个人浅见。。。

金舟的比较忠于原文，但是金老师领悟了，还是没有，从此我看不出来。。。所谓一字一句翻译。。。这是我读金老师的一些翻译作品的印象。

大家继续评。。。另请教一下自己对原文的理解。
_________________

[和平岛]

the wood rings, 这点是关键, 是这诗的眼睛, 如果翻译不好, 这译文就成了瞎子

我试着翻译一下:



《言词》

斧头
砍出年轮，
和回音！
回音外传
像四散的马匹。
汁液
涌流如泪，如那
水竭力
重归平镜
于岩石之上
溅落旋转，
一个白颅骨，
淹没于杂草。
多年之后我
在路上遇见它们，
言词枯竭无主，
马不停蹄。
而
自水泊之底，恒星
引导着生命。

Words

Axes
After whose stroke the wood rings,
And the echoes!
Echoes traveling
Off from the center like horses.
The sap
Wells like tears, like the
Water striving
To re-establish its mirror
Over the rock
That drops and turns,
A white skull,
Eaten by weedy greens.
Years later I
Encounter them on the road-
Words dry and riderless,
The indefatigable hoof-taps.
While
From the bottom of the pool, fixed stars
Govern a life.

[[我还没有昵称]]

the wood rings, 这点是关键, 是这诗的眼睛, 如果翻译不好, 这译文就成了瞎子

我试着翻译一下:



《言词》

斧头
砍出年轮，
和回音！
回音外传
像四散的马匹。
汁液
涌流如泪，如那
水竭力
重归平镜
于岩石之上
溅落旋转，
一个白颅骨，
淹没于杂草。
多年之后我
在路上遇见它们，
言词枯竭无主，
马不停蹄。
而
自水泊之底，恒星
引导着生命。

Words

Axes
After whose stroke the wood rings,
And the echoes!
Echoes traveling
Off from the center like horses.
The sap
Wells like tears, like the
Water striving
To re-establish its mirror
Over the rock
That drops and turns,
A white skull,
Eaten by weedy greens.
Years later I
Encounter them on the road-
Words dry and riderless,
The indefatigable hoof-taps.
While
From the bottom of the pool, fixed stars
Govern a life.

[和平岛]

比较了一下

绿豆
的意思吃得比较透些

[[我还没有昵称]]

比较了一下

绿豆
的意思吃得比较透些

[和平岛]

翻译,最好自己先翻,然后看他们的
要不然,就会受到误导

我的最简洁

[[我还没有昵称]]

翻译,最好自己先翻,然后看他们的
要不然,就会受到误导

我的最简洁

[雪泥]

[[雪泥]]

[和平岛]

《言词》
西尔维亚•普拉斯
和平岛翻译

斧头
砍出年轮，
和回音！
回音外传
像四散的马匹。
汁液
涌流如泪，如那
水竭力
重归平镜
于岩石之上
溅落旋转，
一个白颅骨，
为乱茵吞噬。
多年之后我
在路上遭遇它们，
言词枯竭无主，
马不停蹄。
而
自水泊之底，恒星
引导着生命。



Words
by Sylvia Plath

Axes
After whose stroke the wood rings,
And the echoes!
Echoes traveling
Off from the center like horses.
The sap
Wells like tears, like the
Water striving
To re-establish its mirror
Over the rock
That drops and turns,
A white skull,
Eaten by weedy greens.
Years later I
Encounter them on the road-
Words dry and riderless,
The indefatigable hoof-taps.
While
From the bottom of the pool, fixed stars
Govern a life.

[[我还没有昵称]]

《言词》
西尔维亚•普拉斯
和平岛翻译

斧头
砍出年轮，
和回音！
回音外传
像四散的马匹。
汁液
涌流如泪，如那
水竭力
重归平镜
于岩石之上
溅落旋转，
一个白颅骨，
为乱茵吞噬。
多年之后我
在路上遭遇它们，
言词枯竭无主，
马不停蹄。
而
自水泊之底，恒星
引导着生命。



Words
by Sylvia Plath

Axes
After whose stroke the wood rings,
And the echoes!
Echoes traveling
Off from the center like horses.
The sap
Wells like tears, like the
Water striving
To re-establish its mirror
Over the rock
That drops and turns,
A white skull,
Eaten by weedy greens.
Years later I
Encounter them on the road-
Words dry and riderless,
The indefatigable hoof-taps.
While
From the bottom of the pool, fixed stars
Govern a life.

[星子]

斧头
砍出年轮，
和回音！

---不太对


words. I think here is pun.

Words can be the wood rings and the echoes.

also could be the trace of one's mind...

wood rings here 不是年轮。。。

原文 金舟的译文 更正确。

ring here is verb...
_________________

[[ANNA]]

斧头
砍出年轮，
和回音！

---不太对


words. I think here is pun.

Words can be the wood rings and the echoes.

also could be the trace of one's mind...

wood rings here 不是年轮。。。

原文 金舟的译文 更正确。

ring here is verb...
_________________

[和平岛]

砍伐，是词语构筑的过程

斧头和树木，是矛盾的两个方面，而年轮是层层深入的过程。
the wood rings：

rings是双关语，表面的意思，是砍伐时发出的响声，echo出去。但这个echo，是很巧妙的，是从树的核心Off from the center like horses. 是时间和空间的，在对词语进行“砍伐”之后，年轮一层层翻滚出去，就像打开一本历史之书，因有沉淀，才能够echo出去。

这首诗歌，整个都是建立在年轮——echo——水的韵圈——时间这样一个模式之上的，
你想想看，
stroke of Axes, 怎么就让the wood rings了呢？原因就是有年轮，就是白骨似的时间的纹理，震荡出去！

[[我还没有昵称]]

砍伐，是词语构筑的过程

斧头和树木，是矛盾的两个方面，而年轮是层层深入的过程。
the wood rings：

rings是双关语，表面的意思，是砍伐时发出的响声，echo出去。但这个echo，是很巧妙的，是从树的核心Off from the center like horses. 是时间和空间的，在对词语进行“砍伐”之后，年轮一层层翻滚出去，就像打开一本历史之书，因有沉淀，才能够echo出去。

这首诗歌，整个都是建立在年轮——echo——水的韵圈——时间这样一个模式之上的，
你想想看，
stroke of Axes, 怎么就让the wood rings了呢？原因就是有年轮，就是白骨似的时间的纹理，震荡出去！

[和平岛]

ring这个词，有两个意思，
一个是铃声，
另一个圈
在这里，这两种意思，巧妙地揉合在一起了。。。


3：词语
翻译作者：绿豆
斧头
在对木的年轮的击砍之后，
和着回声！
回声四散
离中点远去，有如马匹。


绿豆的理解是正确的，但不够简洁

[[我还没有昵称]]

ring这个词，有两个意思，
一个是铃声，
另一个圈
在这里，这两种意思，巧妙地揉合在一起了。。。


3：词语
翻译作者：绿豆
斧头
在对木的年轮的击砍之后，
和着回声！
回声四散
离中点远去，有如马匹。


绿豆的理解是正确的，但不够简洁

[星子]

Here is what I googled on internet..

Comment 2 of 2, added on March 25th, 2005 at 10:48 AM.

I've read that this poem was written after Sylvia Plath heard the news, via words in a phone call from a friend, of Ted Hughes' infidelity. I'd like to see more formal research on this poem online but am having a hard time finding it.


Comment 1 of 2, added on January 19th, 2005 at 7:24 PM.

At first one is taken back by the extreme difference between the title: Words and the first line of the work: Axes. But at times words can be like axes, if they are used cruelly. One might assume that Sylvia was being troubled by something who had said something cruel to her. She even goes as far to compare words with Quartering in the last line of the first stanza. The rings of the tree may be compared to how words effect us over and over again. One might be hurt by words but the initial sting may last for quite some time. The mirror that is trying to re-establish itself seems, in one sense, to represent the effect harsh words have in breaking us up-into pieces. Lastly, "the indefatigable hoof-taps"...what an incredible word choice!
This poem is what caused me to be interested in her poetry and has given me more respect for poetry as a whole. Thank you for reading my understanding of this poem.

Jennifer from United States

[[ANNA]]

Here is what I googled on internet..

Comment 2 of 2, added on March 25th, 2005 at 10:48 AM.

I've read that this poem was written after Sylvia Plath heard the news, via words in a phone call from a friend, of Ted Hughes' infidelity. I'd like to see more formal research on this poem online but am having a hard time finding it.


Comment 1 of 2, added on January 19th, 2005 at 7:24 PM.

At first one is taken back by the extreme difference between the title: Words and the first line of the work: Axes. But at times words can be like axes, if they are used cruelly. One might assume that Sylvia was being troubled by something who had said something cruel to her. She even goes as far to compare words with Quartering in the last line of the first stanza. The rings of the tree may be compared to how words effect us over and over again. One might be hurt by words but the initial sting may last for quite some time. The mirror that is trying to re-establish itself seems, in one sense, to represent the effect harsh words have in breaking us up-into pieces. Lastly, "the indefatigable hoof-taps"...what an incredible word choice!
This poem is what caused me to be interested in her poetry and has given me more respect for poetry as a whole. Thank you for reading my understanding of this poem.

Jennifer from United States

[和平岛]

I can agree with Jennifer on the point that "The rings of the tree may be compared to how words effect us over and over again". The process of cutting trees by axes is just like the one we experience when we endeavor to search the right words to express the meaning of our lives. We need to use the axes of our imagination to cut into the bodies of our lives, which can be represented in time, the years passed by. All those years that we suffer are reflected in the annual rings of trees. In this way, the rings of trees take the same meaning as the time stamp in ourselves.

Here in this poem, the word rings is in the first sense expressed as a verb, yet this verb is special in a way that is also the structure of trees themselves, which further refers to the words of poems, and beyond.

This poem is certainly worth our little time spent in our discussions.

[[我还没有昵称]]

I can agree with Jennifer on the point that "The rings of the tree may be compared to how words effect us over and over again". The process of cutting trees by axes is just like the one we experience when we endeavor to search the right words to express the meaning of our lives. We need to use the axes of our imagination to cut into the bodies of our lives, which can be represented in time, the years passed by. All those years that we suffer are reflected in the annual rings of trees. In this way, the rings of trees take the same meaning as the time stamp in ourselves.

Here in this poem, the word rings is in the first sense expressed as a verb, yet this verb is special in a way that is also the structure of trees themselves, which further refers to the words of poems, and beyond.

This poem is certainly worth our little time spent in our discussions.

[主持]

三点说明：
1， 虽然翻译过不少文章，还曾与人合作出版了一本译文集，可英文诗歌中译这还是第二遭。望各位译林高手鉴谅。
2， 作为后来者翻译此诗不可避免地参考或扬弃了前面的译作，所谓有巨人的肩膀即是此意。在此一并谢过。
3， 没有掌握技巧也不习惯写很现代派的诗歌，所以这篇译诗仍然像我的第一篇“Think It Over”英文诗中译那样没有完全按照原诗格局编排。考虑再三，采用了像散文诗一般的样式，亦请理解。



伐木歌词


一把把斧子砍下树木，
裸露出这一圈圈年轮；
一棵棵大树轰然倒下，
一阵阵回声顿时响起。
恰像是向四面八方奔驰的野马群，
那回响在很远很远的地方遥相呼应。

似泪树汁，
流水一般地坚韧；
瞄准，滴落，
在岩石之上，
想要再造一片明镜。

骷髅白骨，
早已为杂草横生所淹没。
若干年后，
我又上路前去追寻，
伐木之歌如同脱缰野马渺无踪影。

脑海中依旧马蹄声碎，
永不停歇。
映照在那池底，
亘古不变的星辰，
一直掌控着人间的生命。
_________________
是非是，我非我。

敬请光临我在北美枫的博客飞云浦

也请关注我的新浪博客
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1740799031

[[Bob]]

三点说明：
1， 虽然翻译过不少文章，还曾与人合作出版了一本译文集，可英文诗歌中译这还是第二遭。望各位译林高手鉴谅。
2， 作为后来者翻译此诗不可避免地参考或扬弃了前面的译作，所谓有巨人的肩膀即是此意。在此一并谢过。
3， 没有掌握技巧也不习惯写很现代派的诗歌，所以这篇译诗仍然像我的第一篇“Think It Over”英文诗中译那样没有完全按照原诗格局编排。考虑再三，采用了像散文诗一般的样式，亦请理解。



伐木歌词


一把把斧子砍下树木，
裸露出这一圈圈年轮；
一棵棵大树轰然倒下，
一阵阵回声顿时响起。
恰像是向四面八方奔驰的野马群，
那回响在很远很远的地方遥相呼应。

似泪树汁，
流水一般地坚韧；
瞄准，滴落，
在岩石之上，
想要再造一片明镜。

骷髅白骨，
早已为杂草横生所淹没。
若干年后，
我又上路前去追寻，
伐木之歌如同脱缰野马渺无踪影。

脑海中依旧马蹄声碎，
永不停歇。
映照在那池底，
亘古不变的星辰，
一直掌控着人间的生命。
_________________
是非是，我非我。

敬请光临我在北美枫的博客飞云浦

也请关注我的新浪博客
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1740799031

[雪泥]

比较喜欢岛主的翻译，风格和原文更相似，更简洁。
各人译各人的，无所谓巨人什么的。
_________________
雪泥长篇《趟过祖母河》全本
雪泥小说选 新浪连载

[[雪泥]]

比较喜欢岛主的翻译，风格和原文更相似，更简洁。
各人译各人的，无所谓巨人什么的。
_________________
雪泥长篇《趟过祖母河》全本
雪泥小说选 新浪连载

[主持]

At least, I like my title.

Also, that's the new one after I checked all original ones.

No those, no this.

So, I appreciated them.
_________________
是非是，我非我。

敬请光临我在北美枫的博客飞云浦

也请关注我的新浪博客
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1740799031

[[Bob]]

At least, I like my title.

Also, that's the new one after I checked all original ones.

No those, no this.

So, I appreciated them.
_________________
是非是，我非我。

敬请光临我在北美枫的博客飞云浦

也请关注我的新浪博客
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1740799031