酷我-北美枫

[星子]

A man waved his rifle
and held a passenger tightly,
A few meters away,
policemen surrounded him,
called him to surrender.

This happened at the daytime on the street,
a central crowd downtown area.
Nobody believed it true,
that only occurred in a movie or on the TV,
suddenly appeared in the real life.

The gunshots broke the bemusement,
People saw the man fell and
the hostage was released.

She let out a bursting cry,
like a final getaway from a nightmare.
The growing violence in this city,
swept our peace to a shock.
Today’s scene ended in public safety,
Who can stop the increasing tragedies?


----------我写现实总是难以深刻，，，试学习，请大胆批。。。

[[ANNA]]

A man waved his rifle
and held a passenger tightly,
A few meters away,
policemen surrounded him,
called him to surrender.

This happened at the daytime on the street,
a central crowd downtown area.
Nobody believed it true,
that only occurred in a movie or on the TV,
suddenly appeared in the real life.

The gunshots broke the bemusement,
People saw the man fell and
the hostage was released.

She let out a bursting cry,
like a final getaway from a nightmare.
The growing violence in this city,
swept our peace to a shock.
Today’s scene ended in public safety,
Who can stop the increasing tragedies?


----------我写现实总是难以深刻，，，试学习，请大胆批。。。

[晓鸣]

很好的自我突破. 前三段叙述很清楚.但较平淡. 诗中的叙事要吸引人,可以在情节中多留一些供读者用想象填充的空白,多掺入诗人自己的意识.

[[自己的敌人]]

很好的自我突破. 前三段叙述很清楚.但较平淡. 诗中的叙事要吸引人,可以在情节中多留一些供读者用想象填充的空白,多掺入诗人自己的意识.