酷我-北美枫

[Blue Ice]

To You

(1)
The poet
I mean, a superior and impavid poet
You used all of the luxury and noble words to write impassioned verse
But only left the penury and loneliness for yourself

(2)
The stringed player
You give instrumental performance by words
You sing the refined music by fingers
The beautiful rhythms don’t come from chord
It is that blood vessels pound vibrato life

(3)
Intimate
Far away read at you
I have never had an extravagant hope to become your bosom friend
But I want to open the window which throw chill wind
When the flowers and the praises are brimming your life, and
I will burn the candle when you fall down in the cold night

致你

(1)

诗人
我是说
一个清高, 无畏的诗人
你把豪华和高贵的文字
全部留给了诗歌
却用贫穷和孤独
写尽了自己的一生

(2)

琴师
手指轻柔
用字母演奏高山流水
弹拨的
不是琴弦, 而是
血脉
激荡生活的颤音

(3)

知音
远远的
读你
却从未奢望成为
你的知音

只想
在溢满鲜花和赞美的日子
悄悄推开
那扇吹着北风的后窗
在寂寥冷清的寒夜
用流泪的残烛
为你
点燃一束
淡淡的温馨

[[FAFAFA]]

To You

(1)
The poet
I mean, a superior and impavid poet
You used all of the luxury and noble words to write impassioned verse
But only left the penury and loneliness for yourself

(2)
The stringed player
You give instrumental performance by words
You sing the refined music by fingers
The beautiful rhythms don’t come from chord
It is that blood vessels pound vibrato life

(3)
Intimate
Far away read at you
I have never had an extravagant hope to become your bosom friend
But I want to open the window which throw chill wind
When the flowers and the praises are brimming your life, and
I will burn the candle when you fall down in the cold night

致你

(1)

诗人
我是说
一个清高, 无畏的诗人
你把豪华和高贵的文字
全部留给了诗歌
却用贫穷和孤独
写尽了自己的一生

(2)

琴师
手指轻柔
用字母演奏高山流水
弹拨的
不是琴弦, 而是
血脉
激荡生活的颤音

(3)

知音
远远的
读你
却从未奢望成为
你的知音

只想
在溢满鲜花和赞美的日子
悄悄推开
那扇吹着北风的后窗
在寂寥冷清的寒夜
用流泪的残烛
为你
点燃一束
淡淡的温馨

[Blue Ice]

前些天, 我把我的诗歌"TO YOU" 贴到一个西人诗歌论坛, Helen McEwen 很快回复并附她写的诗歌, 很受感动. 今天征得她的同意, 将她的回贴一并贴在此, 以便朋友更多的了解东西方文化的异同. 她非常认真的要求一定要属上她的名字. 我喜欢这种坦率, 真诚.

作者: Helen McEwen

and so the poet beats
her heart beneath
the ice

as two lovers move
kissy happy across her
screaming face, they link
arms and rest their heads
in sway, as poetess spreads

her skirt like soft pleats
beneath the ice
somewhere across the lake
there comes a pining open
yellow flame that rests

itself in an open window of the night
refusing
the last exit
of a stranded poet

she cries
they dance
her eyes
perchance
will come to shine
again


i do say, your poem did spark a certain something
to rise up
a sweet swell
has felled the tired lonely parade inside my heart

absolutely

adored

your poem!

blessings,
helen

[[FFFFFF]]

前些天, 我把我的诗歌"TO YOU" 贴到一个西人诗歌论坛, Helen McEwen 很快回复并附她写的诗歌, 很受感动. 今天征得她的同意, 将她的回贴一并贴在此, 以便朋友更多的了解东西方文化的异同. 她非常认真的要求一定要属上她的名字. 我喜欢这种坦率, 真诚.

作者: Helen McEwen

and so the poet beats
her heart beneath
the ice

as two lovers move
kissy happy across her
screaming face, they link
arms and rest their heads
in sway, as poetess spreads

her skirt like soft pleats
beneath the ice
somewhere across the lake
there comes a pining open
yellow flame that rests

itself in an open window of the night
refusing
the last exit
of a stranded poet

she cries
they dance
her eyes
perchance
will come to shine
again


i do say, your poem did spark a certain something
to rise up
a sweet swell
has felled the tired lonely parade inside my heart

absolutely

adored

your poem!

blessings,
helen

[秋叶]

i do say, your poem did spark a certain something
to rise up
a sweet swell
has felled the tired lonely parade inside my heart

absolutely

adored

your poem!

blessings,

helen[/quote]


拜读了Blue Ice， 您看 Helen 给您的评价多高。

[[我还没有昵称]]

i do say, your poem did spark a certain something
to rise up
a sweet swell
has felled the tired lonely parade inside my heart

absolutely

adored

your poem!

blessings,

helen[/quote]


拜读了Blue Ice， 您看 Helen 给您的评价多高。

[Blue Ice]

西人朋友是很热情, 但我更感谢同胞们的鼓励. 谢谢斑竹.

[[FFFFFF]]

西人朋友是很热情, 但我更感谢同胞们的鼓励. 谢谢斑竹.

[和平岛]

这几首诗歌真好,动人!

[[我还没有昵称]]

这几首诗歌真好,动人!

[Blue Ice]

谢谢岛斑, 秋斑的鼓励. 我试着翻译了一下HELEN的诗歌, 第一次英译中, 想听听朋友们的高见 : 谢谢.

诗人
打动了她
寒冰包裹的心

象热吻的情人
闪现美妙的笑容
缠绕的手臂
相依在彼此肩头
诗人轻启樱唇

她的裙子
好象冰层下柔软的皱折
向湖面舒展
金色的火炎从困顿中升腾

在那夜间敞开的窗
拒绝了诗人最后的出口

她喊着
他们跳着
她的眼睛或许会
再一次闪亮

原诗:
作者:

and so the poet beats
her heart beneath
the ice

as two lovers move
kissy happy across her
screaming face, they link
arms and rest their heads
in sway, as poetess spreads

her skirt like soft pleats
beneath the ice
somewhere across the lake
there comes a pining open
yellow flame that rests

itself in an open window of the night
refusing
the last exit
of a stranded poet

she cries
they dance
her eyes
perchance
will come to shine
again

为尊重诗歌原作者Helen McEwen的意见, 此文及译文享有出版权，任何团体和个人未经允许不得转载

[[FFFFFF]]

谢谢岛斑, 秋斑的鼓励. 我试着翻译了一下HELEN的诗歌, 第一次英译中, 想听听朋友们的高见 : 谢谢.

诗人
打动了她
寒冰包裹的心

象热吻的情人
闪现美妙的笑容
缠绕的手臂
相依在彼此肩头
诗人轻启樱唇

她的裙子
好象冰层下柔软的皱折
向湖面舒展
金色的火炎从困顿中升腾

在那夜间敞开的窗
拒绝了诗人最后的出口

她喊着
他们跳着
她的眼睛或许会
再一次闪亮

原诗:
作者:

and so the poet beats
her heart beneath
the ice

as two lovers move
kissy happy across her
screaming face, they link
arms and rest their heads
in sway, as poetess spreads

her skirt like soft pleats
beneath the ice
somewhere across the lake
there comes a pining open
yellow flame that rests

itself in an open window of the night
refusing
the last exit
of a stranded poet

she cries
they dance
her eyes
perchance
will come to shine
again

为尊重诗歌原作者Helen McEwen的意见, 此文及译文享有出版权，任何团体和个人未经允许不得转载

[和平岛]

真好！

也许应该把你们的诗歌一起发表出来！

[[我还没有昵称]]

真好！

也许应该把你们的诗歌一起发表出来！

[Blue Ice]

[[FFFFFF]]

[秋叶]

能掌握好中文的华人，对英诗中译的关键是对原作的理解问题，反之他们进行中诗英译，关键就是英文的掌握问题了。 有些英诗的句子，理解的角度会有不同。 如下面这节， 我的理解是：

and so the poet beats
her heart beneath
the ice

因此诗人打动了
她冰冻的心


不知当否。

[[我还没有昵称]]

能掌握好中文的华人，对英诗中译的关键是对原作的理解问题，反之他们进行中诗英译，关键就是英文的掌握问题了。 有些英诗的句子，理解的角度会有不同。 如下面这节， 我的理解是：

and so the poet beats
her heart beneath
the ice

因此诗人打动了
她冰冻的心


不知当否。

[Blue Ice]

THANK YOU VERY MUCH . THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT POINT, AND I CHANGED IT.
SO, HOW ABOUT THESE:

itself in an open window of the night
refusing
the last exit
of a stranded poet


在那夜间敞开的窗
拒绝了诗人最后的出口

[[FFFFFF]]

THANK YOU VERY MUCH . THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT POINT, AND I CHANGED IT.
SO, HOW ABOUT THESE:

itself in an open window of the night
refusing
the last exit
of a stranded poet


在那夜间敞开的窗
拒绝了诗人最后的出口

[broadstroke]

For a moment, while reading this piece of work, I actually saw myself in the vision that you created. Remember, I'm trying to see what you see.

[[broadstroke]]

For a moment, while reading this piece of work, I actually saw myself in the vision that you created. Remember, I'm trying to see what you see.

[星子]

(1)
The poet
I mean, a superior and impavid poet
You used all of the luxury and noble words to write impassioned verse
But only left the penury and loneliness for yourself

(2)
The stringed player
You give instrumental performance by words
You sing the refined music by fingers
The beautiful rhythms don’t come from chord
It is that blood vessels pound vibrato life

-----提点小建议。。。。
诗歌很重要的是对词语的把握。。。用词的巧妙。

write impassioned verse ----较生硬，缺乏诗的灵性。。。何不用比喻呢。。。

另外，我一直以为，诗的标题很重要。。。。最好引人注目

You give instrumental performance by words 。。。 the same feeling....

[[ANNA]]

(1)
The poet
I mean, a superior and impavid poet
You used all of the luxury and noble words to write impassioned verse
But only left the penury and loneliness for yourself

(2)
The stringed player
You give instrumental performance by words
You sing the refined music by fingers
The beautiful rhythms don’t come from chord
It is that blood vessels pound vibrato life

-----提点小建议。。。。
诗歌很重要的是对词语的把握。。。用词的巧妙。

write impassioned verse ----较生硬，缺乏诗的灵性。。。何不用比喻呢。。。

另外，我一直以为，诗的标题很重要。。。。最好引人注目

You give instrumental performance by words 。。。 the same feeling....

[Blue Ice]

星星, 谢谢你. 你知道有时我是个很缺乏自信的人, 给我点时间......也希望常听到你们的建议, 或许能有更具体的实例. 哈, 先欠学费.

[[FAFAFA]]

星星, 谢谢你. 你知道有时我是个很缺乏自信的人, 给我点时间......也希望常听到你们的建议, 或许能有更具体的实例. 哈, 先欠学费.

[Blue Ice]

broadstroke, i don't know what could i say ? thank you very much for you understand.

[[FFFFFF]]

broadstroke, i don't know what could i say ? thank you very much for you understand.

[broadstroke]

I like this poem. It is both rich and deep.

[[broadstroke]]

I like this poem. It is both rich and deep.