酷我-北美枫

[主持]

一
敏儿是被一辆拉西瓜的大货车撞倒的。敏儿是出了车祸之后，才发现的丈夫的不轨行为。奇怪的是，当敏儿发现了丈夫的不轨行为后，一点儿也不恼，反倒显得非常的平静。这样一种态度，完全与敏儿平时的个性相悖的。

敏儿出车祸的那一天，天下着朦朦细雨。敏儿出事的地点是在丁字桥十子路口的拐弯处。敏儿出事的时候正置上班高峰。敏儿骑的自行车的后轮胎，被汽车碾压得不成样子。如果不是敏儿反应得快，下意识地将人连同自行车向路边猛一倒，恐怕人也会被汽车碾压得成了肉饼。

据敏儿后来回忆，她当时人是在踩车，心里却在想其它的事情。她在想着出差在外的丈夫已有两个月没有音信这档子事。想得很有些恼火，也很有些担心。结婚快20年了，丈夫凡出差在外，从来没有这么长时间不带个音信回的。以往，那怕到通信网络不发达的山区去施工，丈夫都是会想方设法地三五天带个信回。

这次出鬼了，二个多月了，半个音信都没得带回的。而且，那个施工的地方离省城并不是很远，交通也很方便、通信也很发达。同丈夫一块去的人也三三俩俩地隔三岔五地回家休息，而丈夫国庆却就像要同她作死对似地，一点儿音信也不给她带回。
心事重重的敏儿，夹在车如潮人如潮的人流中，拚命地踩着车子，她快要迟到了。迟一次到，就等于一天是白干了。敏儿当然不想被扣工资。

敏儿不想被扣工资倒不是想争当一个什么先进工作者，或劳动模范之类的角色。说到底，敏儿不想被扣工资是生活所迫。因此，她非常在乎这薪水不高，劳动强度又很大的工作。

经济的窘困和生活的艰难，将敏儿压得几乎喘不过气来。读书的儿子费用高，加上每月必须给乡下的婆婆、爹爹寄去的赡养费，这七七八八一算下地，每月没有仟儿八百的是无法支付的。可是她和丈夫每个月工资的总收入不足700元钱。更何况，即便这700元的收入也不是很稳定的。丈夫已有两个多月没拿一分钱回来，家中的一切开支就靠敏儿每月不足300元钱的工资。正在读中专的儿子每星期回家必须拿50元钱走。其实这50元钱用一个星期，儿子已是够节俭的了。对此，敏儿心明如镜，也深感愧对儿子。可是，面对生活的艰难，敏儿恨自己无回天之力。

真是屋漏偏遇连阴雨，生活对穷人有时是非常残酷的，没有丝毫的怜悯之心。这不，在敏儿为丈夫国庆一连好几个月都没有音信也没有带钱回来的事儿焦虑万分的时候，家属院中上上下下又讲开了一件既令人高兴又令人犯愁的事儿——进一步深化“住房体制改革”。

“住房体制改革”，这个在九十年代初期就搅得举国上下沸沸扬扬的名词，在冷了好几年后的今天，又成为人们茶余饭后的热门话题。在敏儿居住的这个大杂院中，“住房体制改革”就被人们说成：以后有钱的人就住好房子、大房子，没钱的人就住坏房子，或者没房子住这样一个很实际、很是生活化的事件。这个家属院的人们从不说“住房体制改革”、“企业改革”这之类文绉绉的新鲜名词。他们用他们独出心裁的思维方式诠释着社会的变革和在社会变革中不断发生着的新鲜事物。

敏儿所居住的这个家属院，一色都是工人阶级。工人阶级们在谈论住房体制改革这类的话题时，个个义愤填膺、个个满腔愤怒七嘴八舌。有的说：我们现在连饭都没得吃的，哪还有钱买房子；有的说：连工资都没得拿的，到哪儿去弄钱买房子呢？还有的说：随便一套单元房，就要大几千上万块，把老婆孩子卖了也凑不够几千几万块钱啦。等等不一而足，全是一些发泄不满情绪的过激言词。

敏儿平时从不看报，也很少看电视（她家至今还是12寸的黑白电视），她坚定地认为：报纸上所讲的一切都是假的，不可信的。无事可干时，她喜欢和家属院里的嫂子们扎堆儿，东家长西家短地闲聊。敏儿得知房子马上要买给个人的信息，就是同嫂子们扎堆儿知道的。

她知道这个消息后，沮丧得很。别人给她家粗略地算了一下，她们家房子面积虽说不大（大约45个平米），成色也不新（好像是八十年代初期建的），但林林总总算下地，也要再交15000多元钱。这样一个数子，虽然不是很大，可是这个不是很大的数目对敏儿家而言，真不啻是一个天文数子。她说她这一辈子，想都没想过能挣这么多钱。
这笔钱愁死了敏儿。

结果，在她听到这个消息的第二天，就出了车祸。

敏儿出车祸后，她的同事们愤愤不平，都嚷嚷着要肇事者赔偿一切费用。敏儿却说：“这不能全怪司机，只怪我当时心事太重，没注意看路。不然就不会……”“好了好了，看你这架势，恨不得你倒要向司机赔理道歉、赔偿损失才好。”没等敏儿的话讲完，赶到医院来看她的陈班长打断她的话说。她说敏儿的心善得有些过了头，善得没有原则和分寸。“这样的人在社会上不吃亏才怪呢。”陈班长对敏儿不向司机索赔的行为，似乎耿耿于怀大惑不解。
 
面对敏儿的如此态度，同事们虽说不能理解，但也只好作罢。大家都说，当事人不急，我们急哪门子呢？也有说敏儿心肠太软的，当然还有人说她怪的。

敏儿对大家对她的种种说法不以为然。她知道大家都为她着急，为她抱不平主要是出自同情她。可是敏儿有敏儿的做人原则。她说，中国人都活得不容易，尤其是平民百姓活得更艰难。如果为一些小事情纠缠不放，争个你死我活的，就更没意思了。陈班长们说：别人差点要了你的小命，你还说这是小事，不晓得么样的事情落到你头上，才算是大事。敏儿就说：我看那司机怪可怜的，他说他是下岗工人。那车子根本不是他的，他只是给别人“挑土”（意：被车主临时顾请的打替司机）的。未了，敏儿说她自己就是个下岗工人，她是偿尽了下岗工人的酸甜苦辣……

***************

Life Is Like Fog


Author: Zhu Xiaoling （China) Translator: Xiaoman （Canada)

MinEr was hit by a truck loaded with watermelons.
Only after the accident she found out that her husband had betrayed her.
But the strange thing was that, when MinEr began to realize her husband's
adultery, she was not angry at all, staying quiet. Such an attitude was
completely contrary to her usual personality.

It was drizzling on the day when the accident happened. The accident occurred at the intersection by Letter-T Bridge. It was
at rush hour when it happened. The back wheel of the bike MinEr was riding was run over and bent out of shape. If MinEr didn't react quickly,
if she didn't subconsciously throw herself and her bike hard to the roadside,
she might have been run over like a piece of meat-loaf.

According to MinEr's recollection later on, she was pedaling her bike as
well as thinking of something else. She was thinking why her husband who had been on his business trip lost contact with her. She was mad as she thought of it, and she was sort of worried about her husband. It had been almost twenty years since they got married, but every time when her husband was on his business trip, he kept sending her messages. It was rare to not hear from him for such a long period of time. In the past, even when he went to do his job in remote regions where telecommunication was not developed, her husband would still manage to send her messages every three or four days.

But it seemed so strange this time. It had been over two months now, and
she hadn't heard anything from him. The construction site wasn't far from
their home town, and traffic was light, plus the telecommunication has been
developed well these days. Those who went there to work with her husband
had been returning home for a rest occasionally, in twos and threes. But her husband Guoqing, as if treating her as an enemy or something, hadn't sent her any messages.

With a heavy heart MinEr was mixed into the flow of vehicles and people.
She pedaled her bike desperately in order to not to be late for work. Being
late at work for one time might mean that she would work for nothing for
the day. MinEr, of course, didn't want to lose her pay. However, managing
to avoid the pay being deducted didn't indicate that she wanted to become
an advanced worker or a role model in the company. After all, her life depended on her paycheck, therefore, she cared about her job very much even though it gave her low salary and high intensity.

Living a poor life and suffering from financial difficulties made MinEr
feel so stressed out and desperate. Every month she needed at least one
thousand yen to cover her son's high school education expenses, and to give the support payments to her husband's parents who lived in the countryside. But the problem was that even putting her husband 's income and hers together, there would be only seven hundred yen. Moreover, the amount of their income was not very stable. It had been two months now that her husband hadn't brought a penny home, and so all expenditure depended on her pay only, which was three hundred yen. As so her son studying at special high school which took fifty yen away every week. In fact her son was frugal enough, and managed for the fifty yen to last for a week. MinEr was clear about that, and she deeply felt ashamed in front of her son because of that. However, living in such a tightly budged situation MinEr hated herself for having no ability to overcome their difficulties.

Misfortunes never come singly --life sometimes is very cruel for the poor,
giving no sympathy. While MinEr could not find a way to relieve herself
from being so anxious, having heard nothing from her husband and receiving no money from him for several months, she heard a pleased though worrisome rumor passing around--to further deepen the "Housing System Reform".

The term "Housing System Reform" was so hot across the country back in the beginning of 1990s, and after a few years of cooling down it had become a popular topic once again. In the tenement yard where MinEr lived, the "Housing System Reform" was understood as a reality like this: in the future, the rich would live in good-quality and spacious houses, but the poor would live in bad houses or even no houses at all. Households in this tenement yard never said pedantic fresh noun like "Housing System Reform" and "Enterprise Reform". They interpreted the social transformation and new things that happened continuously through the transformation in their own unique way.

All the residents in the tenement yard that MinEr lived in were working
class. When they brought up topics such as housing system reform, they
became so outraged and frustrated. Some said, "We don't even have enough to eat, how can we afford to buy a house?" Some said, "We don't even get paid by work, where can we get money to buy a house?" And others said, "Even just an apartment will cost us tens of thousands of yen, we will never get that much money even selling my wife and children." Everybody tried to get a word in so as to vent their resentment and frustration.

MinEr never read newspapers and seldom watched TV. (Her 12-inch black and
white TV was still sitting there even now.) She firmly believed that all the things being said on newspapers were lies, and untrustworthy. So in her spare time she'd rather join women in the yard to gossip and that was how she learned the information about houses that could be sold to individuals now.

Hearing that news MinEr became so down-hearted. Someone roughly did the calculation for her family: although the area of her apartment was not big, which approximately was forty-five square meters or so, and which looked pretty old and seemed to be built in the beginning of 1980s, she still had to pay fifteen thousand yen to buy it. Although such an amount was not too big, still, to MinEr's family, that was too much money she would never have thought that she could make that much in her whole life.

MinEr was really worried about that the amount of money which always preoccupied her mind. As a result, the accident happened to her the next day after she heard the news. After the accident, her co-workers felt aggrieved for her, saying that the perpetrator should pay for all costs incurred. All at once
the ward was in an uproar. But MinEr said, "We shouldn't lay all blame on
the driver. It was not all his fault. I was absentminded and didn't pay enough
attention to the traffic. Or it wouldn't ... " "All right, all right, you sound like you are even anxious to apologize to the driver and compensate his loss." Monitor Chen who just arrived at the hospital interrupted MinEr, saying that MinEr shouldn't have been so kind to the driver and would get no thanks for doing such . "Soft-hearted people like you will always get a beating in life." Monitor Chen added. It seemed that she was really confused by MinEr's decision for not asking for compensation.

To MinEr's strange attitude, although her co-workers didn't understand,
they could not do anything with it. Everyone said that they did not want to poke the bear. Some said that MinEr was a bit too kind-hearted, but of course some said that she was acting so weird.

MinEr didn't think that is was right for people to talk about her. She knew that everybody was concerned about her. They were outraged because they had sympathy for her. But MinEr had her own principles. She said that it was not easy to survive in China, especially harder for those who live below thepoverty line. It was meaningless to fight against each other over trivial matters. But her co-workers and Monitor Chen said, "He almost killed you, yet you said it's a trivial matter. In your eyes, what would you consider a serious matter?" MinEr said, "The driver looked so poor. He said he was out of a job now and that truck didn't belong to him. He was driving for somebody else that day. At last MinEr said that she was laid off as well, and she had lived through the bitter experience as an unemployed worker.
_________________
是非是，我非我。

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也请关注我的新浪博客
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1740799031

[[Bob]]

一
敏儿是被一辆拉西瓜的大货车撞倒的。敏儿是出了车祸之后，才发现的丈夫的不轨行为。奇怪的是，当敏儿发现了丈夫的不轨行为后，一点儿也不恼，反倒显得非常的平静。这样一种态度，完全与敏儿平时的个性相悖的。

敏儿出车祸的那一天，天下着朦朦细雨。敏儿出事的地点是在丁字桥十子路口的拐弯处。敏儿出事的时候正置上班高峰。敏儿骑的自行车的后轮胎，被汽车碾压得不成样子。如果不是敏儿反应得快，下意识地将人连同自行车向路边猛一倒，恐怕人也会被汽车碾压得成了肉饼。

据敏儿后来回忆，她当时人是在踩车，心里却在想其它的事情。她在想着出差在外的丈夫已有两个月没有音信这档子事。想得很有些恼火，也很有些担心。结婚快20年了，丈夫凡出差在外，从来没有这么长时间不带个音信回的。以往，那怕到通信网络不发达的山区去施工，丈夫都是会想方设法地三五天带个信回。

这次出鬼了，二个多月了，半个音信都没得带回的。而且，那个施工的地方离省城并不是很远，交通也很方便、通信也很发达。同丈夫一块去的人也三三俩俩地隔三岔五地回家休息，而丈夫国庆却就像要同她作死对似地，一点儿音信也不给她带回。
心事重重的敏儿，夹在车如潮人如潮的人流中，拚命地踩着车子，她快要迟到了。迟一次到，就等于一天是白干了。敏儿当然不想被扣工资。

敏儿不想被扣工资倒不是想争当一个什么先进工作者，或劳动模范之类的角色。说到底，敏儿不想被扣工资是生活所迫。因此，她非常在乎这薪水不高，劳动强度又很大的工作。

经济的窘困和生活的艰难，将敏儿压得几乎喘不过气来。读书的儿子费用高，加上每月必须给乡下的婆婆、爹爹寄去的赡养费，这七七八八一算下地，每月没有仟儿八百的是无法支付的。可是她和丈夫每个月工资的总收入不足700元钱。更何况，即便这700元的收入也不是很稳定的。丈夫已有两个多月没拿一分钱回来，家中的一切开支就靠敏儿每月不足300元钱的工资。正在读中专的儿子每星期回家必须拿50元钱走。其实这50元钱用一个星期，儿子已是够节俭的了。对此，敏儿心明如镜，也深感愧对儿子。可是，面对生活的艰难，敏儿恨自己无回天之力。

真是屋漏偏遇连阴雨，生活对穷人有时是非常残酷的，没有丝毫的怜悯之心。这不，在敏儿为丈夫国庆一连好几个月都没有音信也没有带钱回来的事儿焦虑万分的时候，家属院中上上下下又讲开了一件既令人高兴又令人犯愁的事儿——进一步深化“住房体制改革”。

“住房体制改革”，这个在九十年代初期就搅得举国上下沸沸扬扬的名词，在冷了好几年后的今天，又成为人们茶余饭后的热门话题。在敏儿居住的这个大杂院中，“住房体制改革”就被人们说成：以后有钱的人就住好房子、大房子，没钱的人就住坏房子，或者没房子住这样一个很实际、很是生活化的事件。这个家属院的人们从不说“住房体制改革”、“企业改革”这之类文绉绉的新鲜名词。他们用他们独出心裁的思维方式诠释着社会的变革和在社会变革中不断发生着的新鲜事物。

敏儿所居住的这个家属院，一色都是工人阶级。工人阶级们在谈论住房体制改革这类的话题时，个个义愤填膺、个个满腔愤怒七嘴八舌。有的说：我们现在连饭都没得吃的，哪还有钱买房子；有的说：连工资都没得拿的，到哪儿去弄钱买房子呢？还有的说：随便一套单元房，就要大几千上万块，把老婆孩子卖了也凑不够几千几万块钱啦。等等不一而足，全是一些发泄不满情绪的过激言词。

敏儿平时从不看报，也很少看电视（她家至今还是12寸的黑白电视），她坚定地认为：报纸上所讲的一切都是假的，不可信的。无事可干时，她喜欢和家属院里的嫂子们扎堆儿，东家长西家短地闲聊。敏儿得知房子马上要买给个人的信息，就是同嫂子们扎堆儿知道的。

她知道这个消息后，沮丧得很。别人给她家粗略地算了一下，她们家房子面积虽说不大（大约45个平米），成色也不新（好像是八十年代初期建的），但林林总总算下地，也要再交15000多元钱。这样一个数子，虽然不是很大，可是这个不是很大的数目对敏儿家而言，真不啻是一个天文数子。她说她这一辈子，想都没想过能挣这么多钱。
这笔钱愁死了敏儿。

结果，在她听到这个消息的第二天，就出了车祸。

敏儿出车祸后，她的同事们愤愤不平，都嚷嚷着要肇事者赔偿一切费用。敏儿却说：“这不能全怪司机，只怪我当时心事太重，没注意看路。不然就不会……”“好了好了，看你这架势，恨不得你倒要向司机赔理道歉、赔偿损失才好。”没等敏儿的话讲完，赶到医院来看她的陈班长打断她的话说。她说敏儿的心善得有些过了头，善得没有原则和分寸。“这样的人在社会上不吃亏才怪呢。”陈班长对敏儿不向司机索赔的行为，似乎耿耿于怀大惑不解。
 
面对敏儿的如此态度，同事们虽说不能理解，但也只好作罢。大家都说，当事人不急，我们急哪门子呢？也有说敏儿心肠太软的，当然还有人说她怪的。

敏儿对大家对她的种种说法不以为然。她知道大家都为她着急，为她抱不平主要是出自同情她。可是敏儿有敏儿的做人原则。她说，中国人都活得不容易，尤其是平民百姓活得更艰难。如果为一些小事情纠缠不放，争个你死我活的，就更没意思了。陈班长们说：别人差点要了你的小命，你还说这是小事，不晓得么样的事情落到你头上，才算是大事。敏儿就说：我看那司机怪可怜的，他说他是下岗工人。那车子根本不是他的，他只是给别人“挑土”（意：被车主临时顾请的打替司机）的。未了，敏儿说她自己就是个下岗工人，她是偿尽了下岗工人的酸甜苦辣……

***************

Life Is Like Fog


Author: Zhu Xiaoling （China) Translator: Xiaoman （Canada)

MinEr was hit by a truck loaded with watermelons.
Only after the accident she found out that her husband had betrayed her.
But the strange thing was that, when MinEr began to realize her husband's
adultery, she was not angry at all, staying quiet. Such an attitude was
completely contrary to her usual personality.

It was drizzling on the day when the accident happened. The accident occurred at the intersection by Letter-T Bridge. It was
at rush hour when it happened. The back wheel of the bike MinEr was riding was run over and bent out of shape. If MinEr didn't react quickly,
if she didn't subconsciously throw herself and her bike hard to the roadside,
she might have been run over like a piece of meat-loaf.

According to MinEr's recollection later on, she was pedaling her bike as
well as thinking of something else. She was thinking why her husband who had been on his business trip lost contact with her. She was mad as she thought of it, and she was sort of worried about her husband. It had been almost twenty years since they got married, but every time when her husband was on his business trip, he kept sending her messages. It was rare to not hear from him for such a long period of time. In the past, even when he went to do his job in remote regions where telecommunication was not developed, her husband would still manage to send her messages every three or four days.

But it seemed so strange this time. It had been over two months now, and
she hadn't heard anything from him. The construction site wasn't far from
their home town, and traffic was light, plus the telecommunication has been
developed well these days. Those who went there to work with her husband
had been returning home for a rest occasionally, in twos and threes. But her husband Guoqing, as if treating her as an enemy or something, hadn't sent her any messages.

With a heavy heart MinEr was mixed into the flow of vehicles and people.
She pedaled her bike desperately in order to not to be late for work. Being
late at work for one time might mean that she would work for nothing for
the day. MinEr, of course, didn't want to lose her pay. However, managing
to avoid the pay being deducted didn't indicate that she wanted to become
an advanced worker or a role model in the company. After all, her life depended on her paycheck, therefore, she cared about her job very much even though it gave her low salary and high intensity.

Living a poor life and suffering from financial difficulties made MinEr
feel so stressed out and desperate. Every month she needed at least one
thousand yen to cover her son's high school education expenses, and to give the support payments to her husband's parents who lived in the countryside. But the problem was that even putting her husband 's income and hers together, there would be only seven hundred yen. Moreover, the amount of their income was not very stable. It had been two months now that her husband hadn't brought a penny home, and so all expenditure depended on her pay only, which was three hundred yen. As so her son studying at special high school which took fifty yen away every week. In fact her son was frugal enough, and managed for the fifty yen to last for a week. MinEr was clear about that, and she deeply felt ashamed in front of her son because of that. However, living in such a tightly budged situation MinEr hated herself for having no ability to overcome their difficulties.

Misfortunes never come singly --life sometimes is very cruel for the poor,
giving no sympathy. While MinEr could not find a way to relieve herself
from being so anxious, having heard nothing from her husband and receiving no money from him for several months, she heard a pleased though worrisome rumor passing around--to further deepen the "Housing System Reform".

The term "Housing System Reform" was so hot across the country back in the beginning of 1990s, and after a few years of cooling down it had become a popular topic once again. In the tenement yard where MinEr lived, the "Housing System Reform" was understood as a reality like this: in the future, the rich would live in good-quality and spacious houses, but the poor would live in bad houses or even no houses at all. Households in this tenement yard never said pedantic fresh noun like "Housing System Reform" and "Enterprise Reform". They interpreted the social transformation and new things that happened continuously through the transformation in their own unique way.

All the residents in the tenement yard that MinEr lived in were working
class. When they brought up topics such as housing system reform, they
became so outraged and frustrated. Some said, "We don't even have enough to eat, how can we afford to buy a house?" Some said, "We don't even get paid by work, where can we get money to buy a house?" And others said, "Even just an apartment will cost us tens of thousands of yen, we will never get that much money even selling my wife and children." Everybody tried to get a word in so as to vent their resentment and frustration.

MinEr never read newspapers and seldom watched TV. (Her 12-inch black and
white TV was still sitting there even now.) She firmly believed that all the things being said on newspapers were lies, and untrustworthy. So in her spare time she'd rather join women in the yard to gossip and that was how she learned the information about houses that could be sold to individuals now.

Hearing that news MinEr became so down-hearted. Someone roughly did the calculation for her family: although the area of her apartment was not big, which approximately was forty-five square meters or so, and which looked pretty old and seemed to be built in the beginning of 1980s, she still had to pay fifteen thousand yen to buy it. Although such an amount was not too big, still, to MinEr's family, that was too much money she would never have thought that she could make that much in her whole life.

MinEr was really worried about that the amount of money which always preoccupied her mind. As a result, the accident happened to her the next day after she heard the news. After the accident, her co-workers felt aggrieved for her, saying that the perpetrator should pay for all costs incurred. All at once
the ward was in an uproar. But MinEr said, "We shouldn't lay all blame on
the driver. It was not all his fault. I was absentminded and didn't pay enough
attention to the traffic. Or it wouldn't ... " "All right, all right, you sound like you are even anxious to apologize to the driver and compensate his loss." Monitor Chen who just arrived at the hospital interrupted MinEr, saying that MinEr shouldn't have been so kind to the driver and would get no thanks for doing such . "Soft-hearted people like you will always get a beating in life." Monitor Chen added. It seemed that she was really confused by MinEr's decision for not asking for compensation.

To MinEr's strange attitude, although her co-workers didn't understand,
they could not do anything with it. Everyone said that they did not want to poke the bear. Some said that MinEr was a bit too kind-hearted, but of course some said that she was acting so weird.

MinEr didn't think that is was right for people to talk about her. She knew that everybody was concerned about her. They were outraged because they had sympathy for her. But MinEr had her own principles. She said that it was not easy to survive in China, especially harder for those who live below thepoverty line. It was meaningless to fight against each other over trivial matters. But her co-workers and Monitor Chen said, "He almost killed you, yet you said it's a trivial matter. In your eyes, what would you consider a serious matter?" MinEr said, "The driver looked so poor. He said he was out of a job now and that truck didn't belong to him. He was driving for somebody else that day. At last MinEr said that she was laid off as well, and she had lived through the bitter experience as an unemployed worker.
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