酷我-北美枫

qinghongh

五绝风雪抒情
---兼和白云老师

漫天风雪舞，大地素签铺。
信步留佳句，豪情千古书。

五绝英译：
The Poems in the Snow

By qinghong Huang

The snow dances all over the sky,
Spreading white paper on the earth;
Confident steps print out the beautiful verses,
Compiling an unforgettable book of aspiration!

星子 · 发表于: 星期一十一月 22, 2010 1:31 pm 发表主题:

How about

The snow dances in the sky,
spreading white sheets on the earth.
Our footprints record our words
like an unforgettable book.
_________________

qinghongh · 发表于: 星期一十一月 22, 2010 1:47 pm 发表主题:

Thanks!

The Poems in the Snow

By qinghong Huang

The snow dances all over the sky,
Spreading white paper on the earth;
Confident steps print out the beautiful verses,
Compiling an unforgettable book of aspiration!

星子 · 发表于: 星期四十一月 25, 2010 2:29 pm 发表主题:

Good.

Last year I took Creative writing in UOT. I leant a lot about writing.

I would like to share some:

1. avoid to use adj... (use more concrete words, like noun, verb...)

2. not to tell, but to show.

3. use fresh images and be unique.

Yet, translation is a tough job and different, since sometimes it limits the creativity.
_________________