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Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby (Anth. in Island Treasures)
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
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二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada

帖子发表于: 星期日 五月 18, 2008 7:56 am    发表主题: Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby (Anth. in Island Treasures) 引用并回复

Reading and Writing: Life on the Page

(Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby was anthologized in Island Treasures, which was published in Jan., 2009)


Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby


That afternoon I was rocked
into a deep sleep.
I slept for a while;
the dawn had not yet come.
Then in my dream I saw
Mother holding me tightly
and tearfully whispering a lullaby
"My child! ... Fear not, and sleep well."



On Thursday's Page one of The Toronto Star, the Canadian newspaper published a photograph of an anguished woman holding her dead daughter in the aftermath of the earthquake in China's Sichuan province.

There is no more powerful depiction of the human toll of natural disaster than the image of a grief-wracked mother cradling the body of her child, an unbearably visual reminder of The Pieta. What follows is my response to The Toronto Star's publication of this emotionally disturbing photo, Chinese xiaoshi which is chosen and posted on the poetry showcase thread of Poetry Connection ( http://forum.poetryconnection.net/viewtopic.php?t=9170&start=30 )


Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby (Xiaoshi)


That afternoon I was rocked into a deep sleep.
I slept; the dawn had not yet come.
In my dream I saw Mother hold me tightly
her tearful whisper a lullaby --
My child! Fear not, and sleep well.



Notes:

1 I got an email from The Star's Letters Editor, Paula Kulig, and it said that my letter was accepted and would be published within days. I'm glad that my voice, which represents one of the Chinese voices, will be heard in a major Canadian newspaper. What follows is my letter submitted to The Star:

Dear Editor:

As Kathy English points out in her piece, Looking tragedy in the face, "there is no more powerful depiction of the human toll of natural disaster than the image of a grief-wracked mother cradling the body of her child." Yes! This is an unbearably visual reminder of The Pieta. I am convinced that The Star has met a greater test: the newspaper's responsibility to convey hard truths and not to sugar-coat reality.

What follows is my response to The Toronto Star's publication of this emotionally disturbing photo:

Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby (Xiaoshi, a little poem)

I slept for a while;
The dawn had not yet come.
Then in my dream I saw
Mother holding me tightly
And whispering a lullaby tearfully
"Fear not, and sleep."
"Sleep well, my lovely child."

2 This xiaoshi was inspired by and homage to Yan Ailin's Jigsaw Puzzle, an elegy to the victims of the 921 earthquake.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul


最后进行编辑的是 ericcoliu on 星期二 五月 12, 2009 3:40 pm, 总计第 31 次编辑
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二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
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注册时间: 2007-05-29
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帖子发表于: 星期日 五月 18, 2008 8:54 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

Poem Text of The Divine Lullaby by Eugene Field

I hear Thy voice, dear Lord;
I hear it by the stormy sea
When winter nights are black and wild,
And when, affright, I call to Thee;
It calms my fears and whispers me,
"Sleep well, my child.”

I hear Thy voice, dear Lord,
In singing winds, in falling snow,
The curfew chimes, the midnight bell.
"Sleep well, my child,” it murmurs low;
"The guardian angels come and go,—
O child, sleep well!”

I hear Thy voice, dear Lord,
Ay, though the singing winds be stilled,
Though hushed the tumult of the deep,
My fainting heart with anguish chilled
By Thy assuring tone is thrilled,—
"Fear not, and sleep!”

Speak on—speak on, dear Lord!
And when the last dread night is near,
With doubts and fears and terrors wild,
Oh, let my soul expiring hear
Only these words of heavenly cheer,
“Sleep well, my child!”
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul
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二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
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帖子发表于: 星期日 五月 18, 2008 11:58 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

FYI:

The 921 earthquake, also known as Chichi earthquake (集集大地震), occurred on September 21, 1999 in central Taiwan at 1:47 am local time and measured 7.3 on the Richter scale. It continued to violently rock Taiwan throughout the night. Its epicentre was located in Chichi, Nantou County. According to the National Fire Agency, Ministry of the Interior R.O.C (Taiwan), the damage caused by the earthquake is as follows:

2,416 deaths (including missing people)
11,443 severely wounded
US$9.2 billion worth of damage
44,338 houses completely destroyed
41,336 houses severely damaged
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帖子发表于: 星期二 五月 20, 2008 10:07 am    发表主题: Re: Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby (Xiaoshi) 引用并回复

ericcoliu 写到:


There is no more powerful depiction of the human toll of natural disaster than the image of a grief-wracked mother cradling the body of her child, an unbearably visual reminder of The Pieta.



Yes, dumbfounded and wordless.
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帖子发表于: 星期二 五月 20, 2008 11:24 am    发表主题: Re: Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby (Xiaoshi) 引用并回复

ericcoliu 写到:


Then in my dream I saw
Mother holding me tightly
And whispering a lullaby tearfully

"Fear not, and sleep."
"My lovely child, sleep well."




Yes, "an unbearably visual reminder of The Pieta."
_________________
My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well
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(官儿做大了,保持廉洁哦)
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来自: 多倫多

帖子发表于: 星期二 五月 20, 2008 11:31 am    发表主题: Re: Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby (Xiaoshi) 引用并回复

ericcoliu 写到:


Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby (Xiaoshi)

That afternoon It rocked me
Into a deep, deep sleep.
I slept for a while;
The dawn had not yet come.
Then in my dream I saw
Mother holding me tightly
And whispering a lullaby tearfully
"Fear not, and sleep."
"My lovely child, sleep well."




The good choice of words: capitalized "It" and "rocked."

By the way, what do you mean by "The Pieta"?
_________________
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二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada

帖子发表于: 星期三 五月 21, 2008 9:13 am    发表主题: Re: Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby (Xiaoshi) 引用并回复

dundas 写到:


Yes, "an unbearably visual reminder of The Pieta."


Thanks for the comment.

I deliberately wrote this poem in a painterly sense, which means more visually intense.

浴恩福 写到:


The good choice of words: capitalized "It" and "rocked."

By the way, what do you mean by "The Pieta"?


Thanks for the comment.

The Pieta is a timeless subject in Christian art portraying the Virgin Mary cradling the dead body of Jesus. It developed in Florence, Italy in 1500, and reached its historical popularity through the greatest example of Michelangelo's craftsmanship. In the West, the Pieta image has become a de facto iconic image of the very spirit of suffering humanity.
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帖子发表于: 星期四 五月 22, 2008 1:34 pm    发表主题: Re: Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby (Xiaoshi) 引用并回复

ericcoliu 写到:



Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby (Xiaoshi)

That afternoon It rocked me
Into a deep, deep sleep.
I slept for a while;
The dawn had not yet come.
Then in my dream I saw
Mother holding me tightly
And whispering a lullaby tearfully
"Fear not, and sleep."
"My lovely child, sleep well."



Yes, tragically enough, the aftershocks of the earthquake have not yet passed away.

I like your word choice -- sleep.
_________________
My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well
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来自: 水族箱

帖子发表于: 星期五 五月 23, 2008 2:02 pm    发表主题: Re: Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby (Xiaoshi) 引用并回复

ericcoliu 写到:



Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby (Xiaoshi)

That afternoon It rocked me
Into a deep, deep sleep.
I slept for a while;
The dawn had not yet come.
Then in my dream I saw
Mother holding me tightly
And whispering a lullaby tearfully
"Fear not, and sleep."
"My lovely child, sleep well."




My Mother's Lullaby is a sorrowful poem, a lament for a lost child as well as a poetic rendering of The Pieta.
_________________
舌頭那匹温暖的水獸 馴養地在小小的水族箱中 蠕動
那獸說:是的 我願意
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二品总督
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注册时间: 2007-05-29
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来自: GTA, Canada

帖子发表于: 星期五 五月 23, 2008 7:47 pm    发表主题: Re: Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby (Xiaoshi) 引用并回复

温暖的水獸 写到:


My Mother's Lullaby is a sorrowful poem, a lament for a lost child as well as a poetic rendering of The Pieta.


Yes, The Pieta is the visual, emotional, and intellectual resource for writing my piece.
_________________
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二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada

帖子发表于: 星期六 五月 24, 2008 11:03 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

A reply from my friend, Florence:

That's an extremely insightful comment and a deeply moving piece of poetry. I'm not a big fan of long poetry -- I love short pieces that get at your gut and this -- both the brief but striking comment and the compelling poem is like needed cold water to the dulled senses...
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(官儿做大了,保持廉洁哦)
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来自: 多倫多

帖子发表于: 星期一 五月 26, 2008 12:26 pm    发表主题: Re: Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby (Xiaoshi) 引用并回复

ericcoliu 写到:



1 I got an email from The Star's Letters Editor, Paula Kulig, and it said that my letter was accepted and would be published within days. I'm glad that my voice, which represents one of the Chinese voices, will be heard in a major Canadian newspaper. What follows is my letter submitted to The Star:

Dear Editor:

As Kathy English points out in her piece, Looking tragedy in the face, "there is no more powerful depiction of the human toll of natural disaster than the image of a grief-wracked mother cradling the body of her child." Yes! This is an unbearably visual reminder of The Pieta. I am convinced that The Star has met a greater test: the newspaper's responsibility to convey hard truths and not to sugar-coat reality.

What follows is my reply to The Star's publication of this emotionally disturbing photo:

Lamentation: My Mother's Lullaby (Xiaoshi, a little poem)

I slept for a while;
The dawn had not yet come.
Then in my dream I saw
Mother holding me tightly
And whispering a lullaby tearfully
"Fear not, and sleep."
"Sleep well, my lovely child."



I'm glad for you, too. Good work.
_________________
報三恩、耕三大福田
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二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
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帖子发表于: 星期二 五月 27, 2008 10:28 am    发表主题: 引用并回复

Thanks for your words of encouragement.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul
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二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


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帖子发表于: 星期三 五月 28, 2008 2:43 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

I've revised my piece and made it more succinct and concrete.
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二品总督
(刚入二品,小心做人)
二品总督<BR>(刚入二品,小心做人)


注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada

帖子发表于: 星期二 六月 24, 2008 2:05 pm    发表主题: 引用并回复

Here are some edited comments from my fellow poets Dr_con, Badge, and Tink from Poetry Connection:

It delivers a well crafted eerie lullaby. You have a unique voice, which I believe will produce some exceptional poetry, onward to greater and greater depth!

dr_con

Has that disarming directness I find in Chinese poems (translated ones) . Maybe less capitals would be more subtle, more flowing, though perhaps you want to define the line.

Quote:
"My child! Fear not, and sleep well."


I'm not sure the exclamation mark evokes 'whispering' ?

The image of the mother offering comfort in a dream was poignant. I liked this poem, its humanity.

badge

Hi eric, This is quite moving. Your skill and knowledge are apparent in this piece, as is your connection to what is happening around you. I know I will be looking for more of your work

I agree with badger's observations. If I could add one idea, L7 I wonder if you moved the word "tearfully" to the front of the line, "and tearfully whispering a lullaby". It puts the emphasis on the lullaby rather than the tears and provides a stronger end word for the line. Just another perception.

Tink
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