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Champagne[Champagne]
Champagne作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2007-09-15
帖子: 394
来自: Nowhere & Everywhere
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 发表于: 星期五 四月 18, 2008 8:17 am 发表主题: I, Alone: The Same Story and Two Endings (New Version) |
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I, Alone: The Same Story and Two Endings co-written by ericcoliu
I came to Him, carrying wounded memories embedded in the flesh like splinters. I prayed to Him to help me take the sting out of my pain and push away the shards of my solitude.
I cried out to Him for hours, but no reply came. I gradually realized I was alone in the dark, and finally accepted that I was the one who would have to soothe the soul and calm the pain.
Alone in the dark, I was relieved, no longer re-living and re-telling "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
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I'm Champagne,
Bottled poetry with sparkling joy.
最后进行编辑的是 Champagne on 星期四 一月 15, 2009 8:54 pm, 总计第 5 次编辑 |
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星子[ANNA]
星子作品集
酷我！I made it！
注册时间: 2004-06-05
帖子: 13192
来自: Toronto
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| 发表于: 星期五 四月 18, 2008 11:17 am 发表主题: |
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version II better.
IMO
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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| 发表于: 星期六 四月 19, 2008 10:01 am 发表主题: Re: I, Alone (Two Versions) |
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| Champagne 写到: |
Version I:
But, in the end, I gradually realize I am alone in the dark. Now, I am relieved, no longer re-living and re-telling "Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?"
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I cry out to Him in the dark, but no one seems to be there.
Conversation with a Priest is inspired by and appropriated from a monologue uttered by the anguished Knight in The Seventh Seal:
Priest: Now, do you have your faith in God?
Eric: ggNo, I don't. More correctly speaking, I can't.
Priest: why?
Eric: ggI want to have more concrete proof about God's existence.
Priest: You want a 100% guarantee?
Eric: ggCall it whatever you like. Is it so cruelly inconceivable to grasp God with human senses and intelligence? Why should he hide himself in a mist of half-spoken promises and unseen miracles?
Priest doesn't answer, and immerses himself in a state of contemplation.
Eric: ggHow can we have faith in those who believe when we can't have faith in ourselves? What is going to happen to those of us who want to believe but aren't able to? And what is to become of those who neither want to nor are capable of believing?
Eric pauses for a moment and waits for a reply. No response from the priest.
Eric: ggWhy can't I kill God within me? He keeps constantly haunting me. Is He going to become a baffling reality that I can't shake off? Do you hear me, or does he hear me?
Priest: Yes, I hear you and I believe He hears you as well.
Eric: ggI cry out to Him in the dark, but no one seems to be there.
Priest: He is here now. Have faith in Him.
Silence falls.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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Champagne[Champagne]
Champagne作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2007-09-15
帖子: 394
来自: Nowhere & Everywhere
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| 发表于: 星期日 四月 20, 2008 8:17 am 发表主题: Re: I, Alone (Two Versions) |
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| ericcoliu 写到: |
Eric: ggWhy can't I kill God within me? He keeps constantly haunting me. Is He going to become a baffling reality that I can't shake off? Do you hear me, or does he hear me?
Priest: Yes, I hear you and I believe He hears you as well.
Eric: ggI cry out to Him in the dark, but no one seems to be there.
Priest: He is here now. Have faith in Him.
Silence falls. |
Maybe at this moment, silence is the only language left for humanity, including God if there is one.
Silence.
There is no need of speech.
The hunger for bread, the thirst for water, the fear of death,
All these make words superfluous.
In the ghetto and in the camp,
Only people who had lost their minds talked,
explained, or tried to persuade.
Those who were sane didn't speak.
Most of them there are silent.
The wicked were silent,
Preferring darkness and hiddenness;
So too were the good,
Not bragging of their own deeds.
Abused children were silent;
They never cried.
Silence is the only language left for humanity,
Including God if there is one.
_________________
I'm Champagne,
Bottled poetry with sparkling joy. |
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dundas[dundas]
dundas作品集
五品知州
（再努力一把就是四品大员了！）
注册时间: 2008-02-23
帖子: 214
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| 发表于: 星期一 四月 21, 2008 12:33 pm 发表主题: Re: I, Alone (Two Versions) |
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| Champagne 写到: |
Version II:
But, in the end, I gradually realize I am the one who will free my own soul from the piercing sting. Alone, in the dark, I am relieved.
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Relieved from or by what?
_________________
My throat knew thirst before the structure
Of skin and vein around the well |
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Champagne[Champagne]
Champagne作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2007-09-15
帖子: 394
来自: Nowhere & Everywhere
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| 发表于: 星期二 四月 22, 2008 1:17 pm 发表主题: Re: I, Alone (Two Versions) |
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| dundas 写到: |
Relieved from or by what? |
Relieved from the anxiety of the unknown absence of God.
_________________
I'm Champagne,
Bottled poetry with sparkling joy. |
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ericcoliu[ericcoliu]
ericcoliu作品集
二品总督
（刚入二品，小心做人）
注册时间: 2007-05-29
帖子: 1393
来自: GTA, Canada
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| 发表于: 星期二 一月 13, 2009 11:35 am 发表主题: |
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I incorporated two versions of I, Alone into one and renamed it to I, Alone: The Same Story and Two Endings.
_________________
Time is nothing but a disquiet of the soul |
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Champagne[Champagne]
Champagne作品集
四品府丞
（封疆大吏也！）
注册时间: 2007-09-15
帖子: 394
来自: Nowhere & Everywhere
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| 发表于: 星期四 一月 15, 2009 8:54 pm 发表主题: |
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I've revised ericcoliu's version to tighten it up, and I deleted the note to the poem.
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I'm Champagne,
Bottled poetry with sparkling joy. |
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