酷我-北美枫

[星子]

(haiku for my friend)

Afar from the shore
Beauty beckons sheer moonlight
Upon her soft dream


(her name means lily...)
_________________

[[ANNA]]

(haiku for my friend)

Afar from the shore
Beauty beckons sheer moonlight
Upon her soft dream


(her name means lily...)
_________________

[熏衣草]

I like it but if you are going haiku, I wonder about the poetic technique within. I always see haiku as physical--a snapshot.

Thanks

Sue



I know that in traditional haiku, titles aren't given. However, the title is absolutely essential to this one, as it identifies the actual subject and therefore, establishes an image. The water lily is the dreamer, bathed in moonlight. These are among my favorite flowers, so I've certainly appreciated the theme of your poem. Mine are not tropical, so they close into tight buds as dusk approaches. I would like to get a night-blooming tropical lily sometime, and store it indoors over winter. I'd guess that the poem's setting is in a warm climate, if this lily is flowering at night (as "Beauty").

Do you need the capitalization?

Lovely, gentle poem -- the lily is isolated in her reverie, but there's no tension. Being alone can offer its rewards.

Brenda

[[我还没有昵称]]

I like it but if you are going haiku, I wonder about the poetic technique within. I always see haiku as physical--a snapshot.

Thanks

Sue



I know that in traditional haiku, titles aren't given. However, the title is absolutely essential to this one, as it identifies the actual subject and therefore, establishes an image. The water lily is the dreamer, bathed in moonlight. These are among my favorite flowers, so I've certainly appreciated the theme of your poem. Mine are not tropical, so they close into tight buds as dusk approaches. I would like to get a night-blooming tropical lily sometime, and store it indoors over winter. I'd guess that the poem's setting is in a warm climate, if this lily is flowering at night (as "Beauty").

Do you need the capitalization?

Lovely, gentle poem -- the lily is isolated in her reverie, but there's no tension. Being alone can offer its rewards.

Brenda