酷我-北美枫

星子 · 发表于: 星期六十月 16, 2004 9:51 pm 发表主题: If you love me

---revised--

if you love me,
please listen to my heart.
never let my tears
fall down alone.

Love is so tender
that stones cannot feel
but leaves embrace it
without fear.
When the wind blows,
their rustle resonates.

Though frost make them brittle,
they blaze their last passion;
When bare branches stipple night,
they bury sorrow below.

my tears fall
and soak through my soul.

---old---
If you love me,
please listen to my heart.
never let my tear
fall down alone.

Love is so tender
that stones cannot bear
but leaves embrace it
without fear.
When the wind blows,
they resonate in rustle.

Yet they perceive frost,
their flame burn their last passion;
and love will dies soon.
With bare branches stipple night,
they bury sorrow below.

my tears fall
and soak through my soul.

白水 · 发表于: 星期日十月 17, 2004 7:29 am 发表主题:

Love is so tender

艺芳 · 发表于: 星期日十月 17, 2004 8:15 am 发表主题:

anni, if you love me , please come to see me ! hei ,hei
_________________
风来意在疏竹，雁过了无痕迹！

肖今 · 发表于: 星期日十月 17, 2004 8:55 am 发表主题:

I love u,sister

xixi
_________________
░░破茧成蝶眼泪，从此不咸░░

NO FOREVER , ONLY LONGER！

星子 · 发表于: 星期日十月 17, 2004 3:13 pm 发表主题:

谢谢各位厚爱。。。

我批我诗，Sorry, lies should be "lie",

burn should be " burns"

This should be more unique and need to toss the big and general words: "love", "soul", "heart".....
_________________

风动 · 发表于: 星期日十月 17, 2004 5:50 pm 发表主题:

星子 · 发表于: 星期二十月 19, 2004 9:50 pm 发表主题:

my tears fall
and soak through my soul.

----------can be tossed away....
_________________

晓鸣 · 发表于: 星期三十月 20, 2004 8:05 am 发表主题:

看样子对这首诗的点评是半边天亮.男士们对情感诗的欣赏要迟钝一些.