酷我-北美枫

星子 · 酷我！I made it！ 注册时间: 2004-06-05 帖子: 13192 来自: Toronto

Ted's Long Waking
(In Memory of Ted Plantos)
by: I.B. Iskov

Sitting in a Muskoka chair
on the lotus coast
Ted built frescoes
under a strawberry smacked sun
inhaled music
and beer from Old Niagara

Foaming over the rim
in darkness and the coming dawn
he breathed stars in timeless orbits
carnivorous rhythms
strobed the dance floor

Songs of the fishermen, the sea
howled in his head for days
the early sermons composed
in a swallowed fire
waiting for a leaf to fall

On solid footing he clilmbed splintered fences
through ashes and disjointed drain systems
he devoured smoke
like a contradiction
knowing the streets were hungry

Rushes of breath stuck between eyes and flesh
mushroomed into naked clouds
the moist white
flowers wavered
over old bent rough bark
his shoulders
two serpent columns
groaned with the wind
through stone and snow
of departed days

特德的长久醒来
(纪念特德泊兰图丝)

坐在一张莫斯库卡躺椅上
面对莲岸
特德凝成一幅壁画
在洋溢着草莓味的阳光底下
品味老尼尔加拉酒吧的音乐
和啤酒。

泡沫浮集边缘
暗夜和即来的黎明，
他呼吸着永恒的星辰
欢快的韵律
回荡在舞池里。

那些渔民的歌，以及
海涛声在他头脑中回旋着
早些时候的训诫集成
一把吞没的火
等着一片叶子落下

他坚实的脚步
爬过荆棘的围墙
穿过灰烬和散落的管道,
他执着对烟和文字的钟爱
深知街市如他一样饥渴。

急促的呼吸在眼睛和体内阻塞着
蘑菇云样涌入赤裸的云层
潮湿的白花摇曳在这垂老弯曲的树干旁
他的肩如两列柱子
在风中呻吟
穿越离去的日子，
石头和积雪一样深沉

雪泥 · 发表于: 星期二五月 02, 2006 1:58 pm 发表主题:

如果大家都翻译贴出来，贴到后面的自然是最好的。
还不如让白水练习，大家帮她一把。算她的。
_________________
雪泥长篇《趟过祖母河》全本
雪泥小说选新浪连载

星子 · 发表于: 星期二五月 02, 2006 3:05 pm 发表主题:

good idea.

I will post more poets' poem (very good poems) with permission.

Everyone will have chance to try and we will help each other.
_________________

和平岛 · 发表于: 星期二五月 02, 2006 6:11 pm 发表主题:

好样的
支持!

白水 · 发表于: 星期二五月 02, 2006 9:28 pm 发表主题:

好主意, 近日较忙, 你们先玩, 过几天我也加一个 Very Happy

星子 · 发表于: 星期二六月 06, 2006 8:47 am 发表主题:

To help understanding more, I emailed Bunny to ask for details---------

here is from Bunny

On solid footing he clilmbed splintered fences
(1st line means he came from a rough neighbourhood, but always managed to keep both feet on the ground)
through ashes and disjointed drain systems
he devoured smoke
(these two lines represent his addiction to cigarettes, and so he smoked, even though he knew they would give him the cancer he died from at the age of 5 Cool

like a contradiction
knowing the streets were hungry
(the contradiction is knowing he was slowly poisoning himself while others craved his poetry and his prose)

Rushes of breath stuck between eyes and flesh
mushroomed into naked clouds
the moist white
flowers wavered
(even though he was extrememly ill, he never told anyone he had cancer and so he carried the world, including clouds and flowers, on his shoulders like ancient old sturdy tree)
over old bent rough bark
his shoulders
two serpent columns
groaned with the wind
through stone and snow
of departed days
(he will always be remembered for his strong voice and his emotional and physical strength through adversity long after he is gone) Bunny
_________________

星子 · 发表于: 星期二六月 06, 2006 10:45 am 发表主题:

特德的长久醒来
(纪念特德泊兰图丝)

坐在一张莫斯库卡躺椅上
面对莲岸
特德凝成一幅壁画
在洋溢着草莓味的阳光底下
品味老尼尔加拉酒吧的音乐
和啤酒

泡沫浮集边缘
暗夜和即来的黎明，
他呼吸永恒的星辰
欢快的韵律
回荡在舞池里

渔民的歌，以及
海涛在他头脑中回旋数日
早些时候的训诫集成
一把吞没的火
等着一片叶子落下

凭着坚实的脚步，
他爬过荆棘的围墙
穿过灰烬和散落的管道
固执于烟的钟情
这样的冲突，
如他深知街市对他的文字的饥渴。

急剧的呼吸在眼睛和体内阻塞着
蘑菇云样涌入赤裸的云层
潮湿的白花摇曳在这垂老弯曲的树干旁
他的肩如两列柱子
在风中呻吟
穿越离去的日子，
石头和积雪一样深沉
_________________

何兆龙 · 发表于: 星期五六月 16, 2006 9:12 am 发表主题:

看了第一段,说点意见.
MUSKOKA CHAIR 是一种折叠躺椅的名字,如果翻成"坐在一张穆丝库卡的椅子上,就是把MUSKOKA当成地名了.
LOTUS COAST 我觉得不能翻成"荷池", COAST不是"池", 还是应该翻成"荷岸".
"吸取啤酒和音乐"好像不妥.OLD NIAGARA 是瀑布地区的一个老酒吧.
建议第一段翻成:

坐在一张莫斯库卡躺椅上
面对莲岸
特德凝成一幅壁画
在洋溢着草莓味的阳光底下
品味老尼尔加拉酒吧的音乐
和啤酒

星子 · 发表于: 星期五六月 16, 2006 9:32 am 发表主题:

谢谢。。。。有道理

会作更多点思索
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