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作者 留言
  主题: International Women's Day: Housewife and Career Woman
redshoe

回响: 11
阅读: 13032

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期二 三月 11, 2008 7:08 pm   主题: Re: International Women's Day: Housewife and Career Woman
fanfan 写到:


Men enter by force, drawn back like Jonah
into their fleshy mothers.


What does this phrase mean?
  主题: Samsara
redshoe

回响: 6
阅读: 9006

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期二 三月 11, 2008 7:04 pm   主题: Samsara
ericcoliu 写到:
There are two versions of your poem. Which version do you prefer?
I like the second one.

you reflect me your dreams? It sounds strange.


The second one is supposed to be a revised version.
I have made some changes.
  主题: An Introduction to American Poetry (ZT)
redshoe

回响: 16
阅读: 86940

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期二 三月 11, 2008 7:00 pm   主题: An Introduction to American Poetry (ZT)
There is one entry on the work of Anne Sexton. Good.
  主题: Deathbed Song: A Summa for a Life (revised)
redshoe

回响: 7
阅读: 14155

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期二 三月 11, 2008 6:58 pm   主题: Re: Deathbed Song
hahaview 写到:


A man’s life? Empty water bubbles.
Eighty years passed in a dream.
Now I throw away my leather sack,
The wheel of the red sun sinks in the West.



Life is nothing but a fleeting dream, just like water bubbles in a stream.
  主题: Samsara
redshoe

回响: 6
阅读: 9006

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期一 三月 10, 2008 7:47 pm   主题: Re: Samsara
Samsara is derived from "to flow together", or "to go through states."
  主题: Samsara
redshoe

回响: 6
阅读: 9006

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期一 三月 10, 2008 7:46 pm   主题: Re: Samsara
  主题: Samsara
redshoe

回响: 6
阅读: 9006

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期一 三月 10, 2008 7:41 pm   主题: Samsara
Samsara


I tell you my dream
While you reveal me your dream.
Both of us sharing our dreams
could be from the same dream.
  主题: The Two Highwaymen
redshoe

回响: 6
阅读: 7081

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期一 三月 10, 2008 7:38 pm   主题: Re: The Two Highwaymen
ericcoliu 写到:


Poem Lyrics of The Two Highwaymen by Wilfrid Scawen Blunt

I long have had a quarrel set with Time
Because he robb'd me.
......
--What have we done to thee, thou monstrous Time?
What have we done to Death that we must die?



The poem ends with two emotionally-charged, existential questions raised from the first-person-plural point of view...


It evolved from his many passionate love affairs and displays his talent for realistic description, lucid, direct language, and minor experimentation with form.


This emotionally-charged poem must evolve from his unflagging pursuit of these "two highwaymen" who have robbed him.
  主题: Snow Birds (revised)
redshoe

回响: 13
阅读: 15704

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期一 三月 10, 2008 7:33 pm   主题: Snow Birds (revised)
星子 写到:


Unreal cities
Under the white blanket


The beginning is not poetic... I guess it could be more dramatic or sensitive...



I concur!

What do you think about the following lines:

Unreal city
Under the white mountain
  主题: Beloved Hands
redshoe

回响: 8
阅读: 10032

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期四 二月 28, 2008 7:53 pm   主题: Beloved Hands
I took Lake's advice and revised my piece.
  主题: Compassionate Couch Potato
redshoe

回响: 4
阅读: 5506

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期四 二月 28, 2008 7:48 pm   主题: Re: Compassionate Couch Potato
nephi 写到:


Compassionate couch potato? A oxymoronic phrase just like Bush's conception of Compassionate Conservative in a rapidly-changing society.


Yes, well said.

In the era of amusing ourselves to death, public discourse on important issues has disappeared and turned into infotainment.

How can you expect couch potatoes to do something about changing "the world on the TV screen."
  主题: Me Know This! Teacher! (revised)
redshoe

回响: 7
阅读: 8586

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期四 二月 28, 2008 7:38 pm   主题: Me Know This! Teacher! (revised)
Me Know This! Teacher! is a heartfelt story about a linguistic border-crossing journey of a Chinese boy who is a new English learner.

As an English learner, I Know this, too.
  主题: Beloved Hands
redshoe

回响: 8
阅读: 10032

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期六 二月 16, 2008 1:44 pm   主题: Beloved Hands
Lake 写到:


My Beloved's Hands

It maybe ok to say it like this, but when you speak it, I find it awkward in the mouth.



Thanks for reading and commenting
Yes, your point is well taken.
Any suggestion for revising my piece?
Your help would be much appreciated.
  主题: The Touching (Sudden Fiction)
redshoe

回响: 5
阅读: 4532

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期六 二月 16, 2008 1:42 pm   主题: Re: The Touching (Sudden Fiction)
Champagne 写到:
The Touching *

She continued her query, “When you watch me through your digital camera, do you do it on your own?”

Unexpectedly, he felt embarrassed and answered with a little lower voice, “I used to… a long time ago. I, I, …, I don’t do it any more. I only think about you, and I want to be with you.”

With a soft voice, she said, “Think about me now… you know I’m naked under this bikini suit, don’t you”

He lowered his head, and she continued,

When a woman wants a man, she gets all wet inside… do you want to see if I am now?”

Without his consent, she took his right hand, and placed it under her bikini suit. He could feel her thighs.



It's a foreplay for her . game.

The Touching is The arousing of desire in the first place and then the fatal touch of shattering the illusion of love.
  主题: I Love You to Death, 愛你至死 (bilingual, revised)
redshoe

回响: 13
阅读: 10578

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期六 二月 16, 2008 1:37 pm   主题: I Love You to Death, 愛你至死 (bilingual, revised)
Lake 写到:


The description (of how deep the love is) is original; the speaker is not only satisfied to remember his love, but to preserve it, add seasoning to it so that to make love stay longer and more tasteful.


Preserving it and making it stay longer in order to "have a slice with wine."

The Preserving metaphor in S1 runs into conflict with the Eating metaphor in S2.
 
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