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  主题: Myriad Leaves of words
agincourt

回响: 3
阅读: 7100

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期四 四月 09, 2009 2:21 pm   主题: Myriad Leaves of words
Myriad Leaves of words

sorrow and joy --
into the myriad leaves of words
seeds in heart and mind grow
  主题: I'm Nobody! Who are you?
agincourt

回响: 6
阅读: 12183

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期四 四月 09, 2009 2:19 pm   主题: I'm Nobody! Who are you?
I like the third version.

I've always been intrigued by Dickinson’s unique way of use of capitalization and punctuation.She often arranges lines of verse in unusual ways and seemingly sporadically employs dashes to signal a break in a line of a poem.
  主题: Ramblings of a Fatigued Poet (published in American Tanka)
agincourt

回响: 11
阅读: 19223

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期四 四月 09, 2009 2:12 pm   主题: Re: Ramblings of a Fatigued Poet: My Life with Calliope
ericcoliu 写到:



III

a garden blossoms
hues fluctuate
as seasons go
so does your heart
to me



I love this tanka that conveys a sense of transience: the flower of the human heart.
  主题: New Year’s Blues (Tanka String)
agincourt

回响: 7
阅读: 11014

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期一 二月 23, 2009 1:50 pm   主题: New Year’s Blues (Tanka String)
ericcoliu 写到:


Here is my take:

New Year's embers
have fallen
into stillness --
a crying cat
pierces the night


Thanks for your poetic reply to my tanka.

I like your tanka.
  主题: Poetic Appropriation (Haiku)
agincourt

回响: 11
阅读: 12780

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期一 二月 23, 2009 1:49 pm   主题: Re: Poetic Plagiarism (Haiku)
ericcoliu 写到:


The term appropriation, as used in Borrowed Words by Elisa Martí-López, acknowledges the processes of literary borrowings and analyzes them as a “deep and productive” influence able to generate a “further creative development” of another’s discourse in a new context and under new conditions.


Thanks for the explanation.

I like the revision.
  主题: The Rainbow Balloons Man
agincourt

回响: 6
阅读: 11526

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期一 二月 23, 2009 1:47 pm   主题: Re: The Rainbow Balloons Man
ericcoliu 写到:


Did you really think a man who "never asked anything from [his parents]" would make a promise so easily?


So, did you mean that "he" would help restore "her confidence" in relationships or trust?
  主题: Winning Tanka of 2008 International Erotic Tanka Contest
agincourt

回响: 10
阅读: 17573

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期一 二月 23, 2009 1:43 pm   主题: Re: Winners of the First International Erotic Tanka Contest
fanfan 写到:


[What do you think of these poems? Are they good enough?


It depends on your definition of "erotic."
  主题: New Year’s Blues (Tanka String)
agincourt

回响: 7
阅读: 11014

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期一 二月 09, 2009 4:26 pm   主题: New Year’s Blues (Tanka String)
Thank you all for your valuable comments. Many thanks to ericcoliu for your detailed explanation of how to write tanka in English and to 浴恩福 for helping me polish my tanka.
  主题: Rexroth-esque understanding of Asian Poetries (2nd draft)
agincourt

回响: 8
阅读: 14608

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期一 二月 09, 2009 4:22 pm   主题: Re: Speak of This to No One:Rexrothesque understanding of Po
fanfan 写到:


His Buddhist-influenced critique of imagery and symbols, which fails to consider contextual factors, has been widely used by his fellow poets and readers. As one of the first poets in the United States to explore Japanese haiku, Rexroth helped “de-contextualize” its reading and understanding. This is one of the main reasons why Basho’s frog haiku is much loved and yet little understood by haiku readers.


Can you elaborate more about this issue?
  主题: Life Sketches (new, published by Tanka Society of America)
agincourt

回响: 21
阅读: 25366

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期一 二月 09, 2009 4:17 pm   主题: Life Sketches (new, published by Tanka Society of America)
ericcoliu 写到:


I

for years now
I have known you --
chance glimpses
through gaps in the fence
in the backyard




ericcoliu 写到:


Writing Tanka in English


Structurally speaking, I follow Michael McClintock’s conception of tanka in the “taika” style, which combines a three-line haiku in typical objective language with two additional lines that further develop the imagery and usually introduce a lyrical, subjective element. In most cases, the three-line unit could stand alone as a haiku, while the two-line unit is dependent on the other for its meaning and context.


ericcoliu 写到:


Chen-ou, the queen of forms. Done right the msot beautiful ever writen.

The things I look for most are (1) L1-3 and L3-5 can stand alone with the former haiku like, the later most emotional/personal.

-- Gary Blankenship




I agree with Gary. The third line is the pivot line, not just the beginning line of a three-line unit but also the the concluding line of a two-line unit.

By the way, I'm looking forward to reading the rest of your tanka submitted to TSA.
  主题: Blow, Blow, Thou Winter Wind (revised)
agincourt

回响: 6
阅读: 10705

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期一 二月 09, 2009 4:11 pm   主题: Blow, Blow, Thou Winter Wind (revised)
Is this a tanka? I think so.

I am not sure of your use of abstract words in a tanka?
  主题: New Year’s Blues (Tanka String)
agincourt

回响: 7
阅读: 11014

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期四 一月 29, 2009 2:39 pm   主题: Re: New Year’s Blues (Tanka)
温暖的水獸 写到:


IMHO, your tanka is a little lengthy; it's better not to exceed 20 English words or syllables.


Thanks for reading and commenting. I'm not aware of the word limit for a tanka. Is this one of writing conventions practiced by tankaists?
  主题: S e x Talk
agincourt

回响: 11
阅读: 11614

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期四 一月 29, 2009 2:35 pm   主题: Re: S e x Talk
温暖的水獸 写到:


II

taking off clothes, we fully engage in conversation




Your poems read like aphorisms, the second of which is thought-evoking and plays with its title: "s e x" (intercourse) and "talk" (conversation).
  主题: Mourning John Updike: One Last Breath
agincourt

回响: 4
阅读: 5980

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期四 一月 29, 2009 2:31 pm   主题: Re: Mourning John Updike: One Last Breath
ericcoliu 写到:


For life’s a shabby subterfuge,
And death is real, and dark, and huge.
The shock of it will register
Nowhere but where it will occur.



II

We all, even Jesus,
go six feet under.
Why do you struggle?




There is a dialectical tension between your reply and Updike's concludinh lines.

I like your poem III.
  主题: New Year’s Blues (Tanka String)
agincourt

回响: 7
阅读: 11014

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期六 一月 24, 2009 11:24 am   主题: New Year’s Blues (Tanka String)
New Year’s Blues (Tanka String)


New Year’s fireworks
stop popping over my house --
nothing left
but the piercing cries
of a cat


Ericcoliu's Version:

New Year's embers
have fallen
into stillness --
a crying cat
pierces the night
 
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