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作者 留言
  主题: Dream of Peace - 永和平梦想
Colin Campbell

回响: 4
阅读: 5959

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期四 五月 08, 2008 3:32 am   主题: Dream of Peace - 永和平梦想
anna 写到:
和平梦想
只在瞬间.
美如青春
遗忘逝去.

Hi Colin,

There is some issues in the structure of your sentence. The way we speak Chinese is different from it in English.
You use some short sentence in English. and that makes it more difficult to translate.

I am glad to see you again. How are you now?


Hi again Anna,

Thank you so much for fixing my little poem! My use of Chinese language is still very poor - I really must try harder.

I'm now lucky enough to spend the summers in Kunming where I am now and winters down in Malaysia. Great fun!

with kind regards
Colin
  主题: Dream of Peace - 永和平梦想
Colin Campbell

回响: 4
阅读: 5959

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期三 五月 07, 2008 9:07 pm   主题: Dream of Peace - 永和平梦想
Hi folks,

I'd much appreciate any feedback on my attempt at translating
a little English poem of mine.

永和平梦想
生存只短命
在尽善尽美
而后消失快
有如忘前途

A dream of peace.
There for a moment,
a thing of beauty.
Then faded away
like the forgotten
hopes of youth.

谢谢您
Colin
  主题: 看病最好
Colin Campbell

回响: 6
阅读: 7993

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期二 四月 17, 2007 2:31 am   主题: Re: 看病最好
戴玨 写到:
Colin Campbell 写到:
.
机上外星人的飞船

...
他们说呆呆

These 2 phrases or clauses are not comprehensible to me.
"我突然病了" is better than “我得病很快” (which actually means "I get sick easily or quickly")。


Yes you're right, of course, 我突然病了 is better and I've changed it. I guess I was trying too hard to make it rhyme.

many thanks
Colin
  主题: 看病最好
Colin Campbell

回响: 6
阅读: 7993

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期二 四月 17, 2007 12:58 am   主题: 看病最好
Lake 写到:
Hi Colin,

高兴见到新朋友。请多指导,多交流。

Cheers,

Lake


Hi Lake,

谢谢

with kind regards
Colin
  主题: 看病最好
Colin Campbell

回响: 6
阅读: 7993

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期二 四月 10, 2007 8:20 am   主题: Thanks Anna
Hi Anna,

It's nice to be back. I'm actually back in China now so I thought I should do something in Hanyu. I've changed the piece as you suggested but dropped a couple of other characters to maintain line length (I do like symmetry).

with kind regards
Colin
  主题: 看病最好
Colin Campbell

回响: 6
阅读: 7993

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期二 四月 10, 2007 7:14 am   主题: 看病最好
.
机上外星人的飞船

我突然病了

所以请求咨询医生

他们说呆呆

但是可以咨询兽医


Hi folks, sorry to be away for so long.

This little piece started life as a piece of micro fiction and is currently in print in the Leaf Books Anthology, The Final Theory and Other Stories (UK). I thought it might be fun to try it in Hanyu. Here’s the English version:

I took ill on the alien transport and asked to see the doctor.
"Don't be silly," they said, "but you can see the veterinarian."

With kind regards
Colin
  主题: 恬静滇池 (修改了) Peaceful Dianchi (revised)
Colin Campbell

回响: 4
阅读: 6808

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期日 七月 09, 2006 11:12 pm   主题: 恬静滇池 Peaceful Dianchi
可以不可以?

恬静滇池

恬静老滇池
风筝究青天
甚至鸟可弛
多久在今天

Peaceful old Dianchi Lake.
Kites explore a clear blue sky.
So even birds may take a break.
How long can this day last?
  主题: 恬静滇池 (修改了) Peaceful Dianchi (revised)
Colin Campbell

回响: 4
阅读: 6808

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期六 七月 08, 2006 8:01 pm   主题: 恬静滇池 (修改了) Peaceful Dianchi (revised)
星子 写到:
THANK YOU

COLIN。

很有风今天
风筝究青天

----天的重复不太合中文诗。


谢谢星子!

我要再试!

克林
  主题: 恬静滇池 (修改了) Peaceful Dianchi (revised)
Colin Campbell

回响: 4
阅读: 6808

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期六 七月 08, 2006 9:26 am   主题: 恬静滇池 (修改了) Peaceful Dianchi (revised)
恬静的云南

很有风今天
风筝究青天
舟游于滇池
有游鱼溅开


Peaceful Yunnan.

Now the wind is high
kites explore the sky.
Boats explore Dianchi
fish are splashing too.
  主题: How can you become beautiful? (My tonight's speech)
Colin Campbell

回响: 7
阅读: 5770

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期四 六月 01, 2006 4:29 am   主题: How can you become beautiful? (My tonight's speech)
Well spoken!
  主题: Be careful of some Poetry web site
Colin Campbell

回响: 8
阅读: 12901

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期日 五月 14, 2006 6:59 pm   主题: Be careful of some Poetry web site
I like the saying, 'If it seems too good to be true,then it is too good to be true.'

Take care out there!

regards
Colin 克林
  主题: Dianchi Lake
Colin Campbell

回响: 7
阅读: 12004

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期日 二月 20, 2005 5:42 am   主题: Dianchi Lake
Hi Qiu Ye,

Thank you for your kind words and thank you for helping with my poem.

Much appreciated!
Colin
  主题: Dianchi Lake
Colin Campbell

回响: 7
阅读: 12004

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期五 二月 18, 2005 8:03 pm   主题: Dianchi Lake
星子 写到:
--Hi Colin, I have revised some as the following, since I would like to add a little chinese smack in. (hope you don't mind)


滇池

天赋珍品是滇池
自然的活力水源
恒久风吹荡水池
滇池在银波世界

自然的活力水源
日落沉没内陆海
滇池在银波世界
风飘长歌伴日落

日落沉没内陆海
恒久风吹荡水池
风飘长歌伴日落
天赋珍品是滇池


Natural treasure is Dianchi Lake.
Nature’s lifeblood is inside.
Timeless winds blow over water.
Dianchi is a silvery world.

Nature’s lifeblood is inside.
Setting sun on the inland sea.
Dianchi is a silvery world.
Wind brings song with the setting sun.

Setting sun on the inland sea.
Timeless winds blow over water.
Wind brings song with the setting sun.
Natural treasure is Dianchi Lake.


Hi Anna,

Thank you so much for your help. I'm delighted to have a real Chinese version.

with kind regards
Colin
  主题: Dianchi Lake
Colin Campbell

回响: 7
阅读: 12004

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期三 二月 16, 2005 9:25 pm   主题: Dianchi Lake
I've tried a translation:

滇池

造化的宝贝滇池
活着水造化的血
恒久风吹上水池
滇池在水的世界

活着水造化的血
内陆在海中日落
滇池在水的世界
风的长歌和日落

内陆在海中日落
恒久风吹上水池
风的长歌和日落
造化的宝贝滇池

I should welcome any feedback.

with kind regards
Colin
  主题: Dianchi Lake
Colin Campbell

回响: 7
阅读: 12004

帖子论坛: English Garden   发表于: 星期二 二月 15, 2005 11:21 pm   主题: Dianchi Lake
LavenderSwing 写到:
Setting sun on inland sea?

or Setting sun on the inland sea?

Hi Colin, great to hear from you again...

Anna


Hi Anna,

I like you choice of words better and I've revised the pantoum. I've been busy developing a new personal website so I've not been writing much new or posting for a while. I'll sent you an invition to view when it's ready.

with kind regards
Colin
 
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