酷我-北美枫

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

a football
rolling down the hill
a still pond

a sofa
sits by the road
rats move in

photographer creeps
near a cub in the cave
eye fits into eye

a boy
creeps up to a cub
eye fits eye
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

six blue eggs
hidden in bushes-
footprints loom

a hand lifts
dandelions in the air-
wingsbeat

flesh wrestles
furniture in the room-
wax in ear
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

seven crows
cross the night sky -
a still moon

the shadow
of a praying mantis -
feast somewhere

a woman
dressed in white -
a dry rose
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

http://writinghood.com/style/how-to/the-truth-about-haiku/

Glad to read this.

13 Guidelines for Writing Haiku
Use concise, simple and clear language
Write in two sections, using a fragment and a phrase
Use sense images, in particular what you see or hear
Write in the present tense
Compare or contrast two different images as juxtapositions
Try to include a seasonal reference
Write in 17 syllables or less, preferably between 8-12
Use minimal (if any) punctuation
Try to make your haiku open-ended and evocative
Try not make judgments or express your opinions
Limit your use of adjectives and try not to use adverbs
Do not use rhyme, simile, metaphor or personification
There is no need for capital letters, except for proper nouns

Read more: http://writinghood.com/style/how-to/the-truth-about-haiku/#ixzz1PmI280p9
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

mail box
no news arrives
tea turns cold

the door ajar
a snake slithers out
a cry

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

Some qualities in a haiku

1. situation (set-up)
2. revelation (ahaa moment)
3. clean break at the end of L2 or L1
4. imagery
5. resonance
6. juxtaposition
7. using few syllables and producing sharp imagery
8. using lowercase and no capitalisation to write the
haiku
9. using season words (kigo) or is it contemporary and doesn't use a season reference?

(in short)

clear images
* a juxtaposition
* fragment and phrase, or phrase and fragment, or pivot
* aha moment
* resonance in the nouns chosen
* plain language
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

two ducks
sit on a notebook
off line

losing his leash
a boy chases a dog-
stop sign

a cracked phone
lies in an empty field-
the moon rings
_________________
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

RIM
plummeting down a hill-
night falls

fish on a hook
a prayer set for dinner-
blue planet

starry night
crowds file out off church-
cold walls
_________________
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

into foxtails
dogs chase foxes-
tails wag

guideposters
on the tall, front lamp-
warm home

boy sits on
newly painted chair-
fresh art
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

---I saved azure's comments here for study....

1)
seven crows
cross the night sky -
a still moon

This is a good part of the scene in your fragment, it illuminates the crows.

2)
the shadow
of a praying mantis -
feast somewhere

Good fragment.

3)

a woman
dressed in white -
a dry rose

This is a great contrast-the white and red, the dryness of the rose is a god thought provoking fragment. You did very well completing the phrases into haiku.-azure

for the six blue egg haiku...

This is a very good nature haiku-it takes the scene of the eggs and enlarges the viewpoint to include the footprints in your AHA moment of L3.-azure
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

From Allpoetry azure's comments.

two ducks
sit on a notebook
offline

This is cool, and works very well.

losing his leash
a boy chases a dog-
stop sign

Good AHA moment, and adds to the scene very much!

a cracked phone
lies in an empty field-
the moon rings

I am thinking on this one, it is imaginary in a way in a non-haiku way. But the moon could be used-reflected off the phone, or the ring as sound.

a cracked phone

in an empty field-

a ring as an owl hoots

a cracked phone

in an empty field-

silence and a full moon

(ach, I know I used that line in an old haiku, it's deja-ku)

Oh, lots of possibilities-this is one for you to rewrite for yourself many times-you will find the best thing for it, and then it will be a most excellent haiku.-azure
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

Writing process after the free course from azure....

I have read several articles about haiku before. I must say this essay is the most clear and helpful one for me. I have claimed I knew haiku and wrote haiku, but now I know I was wrong. I want to thank you very much for your free course about haiku because it let me understand the essential qualities and truly appreciate the beauty of haiku. It also teaches me some skills of thinking and observing. I am glad that finally I start to write real haiku. Here I want to summarize what I learn from your essay.
Use clear images with plain language
thinking about a juxtaposition
arrange the three line haiku structure as fragment and phrase, or phrase and fragment, or pivot , applying aha moment , don’t fill in words, but check if each word really works in this short poem. Try to report things, not put personal feelings or statements.
When I worked on my first assignment, I reminded of the above tips to myself.
I tried to observe all the interesting and strange things happened around us. I passed by a park and saw an old sofa on the road. I thought it was interesting and how it came here. Then the first two lines of a haiku came out:
A sofa
Sits beside the road

Then I tried to find the aha moment for it. Now my imagination kicked in… how about rabbits move around… wait… how about rats move in… I thought rats move in will give a little more contemporary sense. Yes, when I worked on the last line, I was thinking of “juxtaposition”… the sofa sits… so it means motionless… rats move in…. contrast image..
And sofa is big, rats… tiny… also the whole haiku gives other meanings too…. I will leave the readers feed in.
So that is my sofa haiku writing process. Yes. I also followed your suggestions, brought a note book to note down what I saw, then came back to work on them.
I want to say all these work and thank you very much.
Right now, I have written more than ten haiku in two days. But I still failed to write a fragment first assignment. I will keep trying.
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141

http://allpoetry.com/column/7522093-Haiku_and_Its_Technique__-by-Don_Baird
(For study...)
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Anna Yin

《爱的灯塔-星子安娜双语诗选》
<Nightlights> <Seven Nights with the Chinese Zodiac> ...

http://annapoetry.com

anna · Site Admin 注册时间: 2004-05-02 帖子: 7141