酷我-北美枫

[星子]

When I was in high school, I read Tagore's poems. Since then I really enjoyed them. They were like the songs of wind bell and unforgettable blooming flowers.
They reminded me of various dreams of wonder.

Today I am glad to read Mr. Wen's translation about "Lover's gifts" by Tagore. It brings me back to those lovely time.

Let me begin with Lover's Gifts II: Come to My Garden Walk (Tagore)

Come to my garden walk, my love. Pass by the fervid flowers that
press themselves on your sight. Pass them by, stopping at some
chance joy, which like a sudden wonder of sunset illumines, yet
elude.
For lover's gift is shy, it never tells its name, it flits
across the shade, spreading a shiver of joy along the dust.
Overtake it or miss it for ever. But a gift that can be
grasped is merely a frail flower, or a lamp with flame that will
flicker.

温东华译
2 步入我花园之曲径吧，我的情人。光华溢彩的花朵热情到你眼前，不期而遇的欢乐为你驻足──这种欢乐如突来之晚霞焕彩，淋漓曜熠而又隐约遁形。
因为爱之贻是腼腆的：它不通报名姓，它掠过翳影，沿着尘土撒下欢乐之战栗。赶上它吧，否则贻误良机而永丧姻缘。抓得住的礼物只不过是一朵脆弱的花、一盏行将毁灭的闪烁不定的灯﹗

Here we can feel the eagerness and passion of the lover. Especial with Mr. Wen’s translation. Those lines are alive and elegant. Such as 光华溢彩, 掠过翳影, 欢乐之战栗. Mr. Wen truly captured the exciting yet mysterious feeling of lover, and the urge to embrace it and grasp it. I much enjoy his flowing and charming translation.



I also love his translation about Lover's Gifts IV: She Is Near to My Heart

She is near to my heart as the meadow-flower to the earth; she is
sweet to me as sleep is to tired limbs. My love for her is my life
flowing in its fullness, like a river in autumn flood, running with
serene abandonment. My songs are one with my love, like the murmur
of a stream, that sings with all its waves and current.

温东华译

如花草之紧贴土地，她死死地贴着我的心，如睡眠之于疲倦四肢，她对于我是无穷的甜蜜。我对她呢？我勃勃的生命之河流给她的爱情如秋水泛涨，恣肆汪汪。我的爱情与歌浑然一体，如川流逆折，以它金色的波涛日夜歌唱着。

Here Mr. Wen used very strong images and powerful words when translating the pouring loving feeling. I could hear the songs and running streams from his heart.
Mr. Wen creatively added more words applied to this passionate love. It emphasizes the love very well.


Lover's Gifts LII: Tired of Waiting

Tired of waiting, you burst your bonds, impatient flowers, before
the winter had gone. Glimpses of the unseen comer reached your
wayside watch, and you rushed out running and panting, impulsive
jasmines, troops of riotous roses.
You were the first to march to the breach of death, your
clamour of colour and perfume troubled the air. You laughed and
pressed and pushed each other, bared your breast and dropped in
heaps.
The Summer will come in its time, sailing in the flood-tide
of the south wind. But you never counted slow moments to be sure
of him. You recklessly spent your all in the road, in the terrible
joy of faith.
You heard his footsteps from afar, and flung your mantle of
death for him to tread upon. Your bonds break even before the
rescuer is seen, you make him your own ere he can come and claim
you.

52 温东华译


性急的茉莉花，热烈红艳的玫瑰花啊，你们有耐性么？你们等待得太厌倦了么？残冬不去，你们就挣脱束缚在道旁守望着。朦胧的来客才一闪现，你们就冲出去，气喘吁吁而且香汗淋漓。
你们是朝着死亡之谷进军的第一批花卉，色彩和芳香激扰着空气。你们纵声笑乐着，熙熙推搡着。朦胧的来客才一闪现，你们就裸赤肌肤，遍堆红雨。
夏季在南风潮涨上航行，届时登陆；而你们却并不计时较正，却惟凭信念徒赶行程。唉，我的一切不也浪费于此么？
听吧，足音渐近，夏季走来了，你们投下死亡之斗篷，让其凌波微步，即如救者未到，你们就挣脱藩蓠，不是太早了么？现在救者还未曾认领你们，而你们却视其为自己之救主……啊，错误！

Here I am not sure if I get Tagore’s original version, though from what I read of the translation, it seems Mr. Wen added more meanings inside. (Mr. Wen may have a good explanation)



Lover's Gifts LIV: In the Beginning of Time
In the beginning of time, there rose from the churning of God's
dream two women. One is the dancer at the court of paradise, the
desired of men, she who laughs and plucks the minds of the wise
from their cold meditations and of fools from their emptiness; and
scatters them like seeds with careless hands in the extravagant
winds of March, in the flowering frenzy of May.
The other is the crowned queen of heaven, the mother, throned
on the fullness of golden autumn; she who in the harvest-time
brings straying hearts to the smile sweet as tears, the beauty deep
as the sea of silence, -brings them to the temple of the Unknown,
at the holy confluence of Life and Death

54 温东华译


鸿蒙初辟，自神祗之梦灵幻出两位女性。其一乃少男倾心之偶像，乃天堂中舞蹈的神。她慢傲意谑，她纵声大笑，由智者之沉思，愚者之空虚里，勾摄他们之灵魂，并以其荡倚冲虐的手，将之撒在三月放肆的风里，撒在五月繁花怒日的疯狂里。
另一乃天堂里冠冕之皇后，她端坐在秋天功德圆满的宝座上。在收获的季节，她把迷惘之灵魂带给甜蜜如露水的微笑，带给那愁思之海一样深沉的美；带往生与死同汇之圣地，带往未知者之殿堂。

From this verse, we could taste Mr. Wen’s beautiful and concise style of translation.
Those lines are like a serene lake reflecting dark blue and glimmering light. So pure and exquisite. You cannot ignore the images about those two holy women, glory and
enchanting. Mr. Wen greatly enhanced the beauty and power of them.

-----
温东华译

你嬗变为一幅画像，你没有星辰的真实，也没有尘土的真实，它们随万物的生生不息而运动，而你却被固定在你的静止的形象里。
从前你和我结伴而行，你的呼吸煦煦春风一样温暖，你的四肢里全是生命之颂歌，你我的脸相偎，于我的心灵是一个慰藉，你的柔声让我的世界从它那里找到话语。突如其来的死亡让你驻足在永恒的阴影下，让我独自前行。
人生如一个孩童，它一边大笑，一边奔跑，一边摇着哗哗而响的死亡之旗；它召唤我向前，我随着它无影无踪的脚步。可你立在那里，立在运动的星辰与尘土之外。你只是一幅画像。
不，那不会是这样的。假如生命在你那里终止，那么河流就会干涸，色彩绚丽的黎明的足音就会失其节奏；假如你头发的乌亮在绝望的黑色中失去光泽，那么夏天的绿阴也会在自己的梦境中死去。
我们头也不回地匆匆走过，我怎么也忘不了你。我忘了路旁疏疏篱落上的繁花；但花的芬芳潜入我们的呼吸和记忆、并使之象精妙的乐章。你虽然离开人世，然而这一回却是在我生命的席位上就坐，因此，忘记那些是为了于你的永恒的记忆。
我歌唱时，你不再在我眼前，但你已与我歌曲成为一体。你偕第一道晨曦来我身边；日薄西山，最后一线夕照消失，我也就失去了你。从此以后，我在黑暗中寻你觅你。不，你不仅仅是一幅画像。

The verse above I could not find the English version. But I still want to list here.
Since I love it very much. I believe that is the greatest and truest lover’s gift.

The whole version of "Lover's Gifts" are very charming and meaningful. It is heartfelt and sincere. I hope Mr. Wen find love through his writing.


Thanks Mr. Wen for sharing his translation.
-----
注: 斜体为泰戈尔英文版
_________________

[[ANNA]]

When I was in high school, I read Tagore's poems. Since then I really enjoyed them. They were like the songs of wind bell and unforgettable blooming flowers.
They reminded me of various dreams of wonder.

Today I am glad to read Mr. Wen's translation about "Lover's gifts" by Tagore. It brings me back to those lovely time.

Let me begin with Lover's Gifts II: Come to My Garden Walk (Tagore)

Come to my garden walk, my love. Pass by the fervid flowers that
press themselves on your sight. Pass them by, stopping at some
chance joy, which like a sudden wonder of sunset illumines, yet
elude.
For lover's gift is shy, it never tells its name, it flits
across the shade, spreading a shiver of joy along the dust.
Overtake it or miss it for ever. But a gift that can be
grasped is merely a frail flower, or a lamp with flame that will
flicker.

温东华译
2 步入我花园之曲径吧，我的情人。光华溢彩的花朵热情到你眼前，不期而遇的欢乐为你驻足──这种欢乐如突来之晚霞焕彩，淋漓曜熠而又隐约遁形。
因为爱之贻是腼腆的：它不通报名姓，它掠过翳影，沿着尘土撒下欢乐之战栗。赶上它吧，否则贻误良机而永丧姻缘。抓得住的礼物只不过是一朵脆弱的花、一盏行将毁灭的闪烁不定的灯﹗

Here we can feel the eagerness and passion of the lover. Especial with Mr. Wen’s translation. Those lines are alive and elegant. Such as 光华溢彩, 掠过翳影, 欢乐之战栗. Mr. Wen truly captured the exciting yet mysterious feeling of lover, and the urge to embrace it and grasp it. I much enjoy his flowing and charming translation.



I also love his translation about Lover's Gifts IV: She Is Near to My Heart

She is near to my heart as the meadow-flower to the earth; she is
sweet to me as sleep is to tired limbs. My love for her is my life
flowing in its fullness, like a river in autumn flood, running with
serene abandonment. My songs are one with my love, like the murmur
of a stream, that sings with all its waves and current.

温东华译

如花草之紧贴土地，她死死地贴着我的心，如睡眠之于疲倦四肢，她对于我是无穷的甜蜜。我对她呢？我勃勃的生命之河流给她的爱情如秋水泛涨，恣肆汪汪。我的爱情与歌浑然一体，如川流逆折，以它金色的波涛日夜歌唱着。

Here Mr. Wen used very strong images and powerful words when translating the pouring loving feeling. I could hear the songs and running streams from his heart.
Mr. Wen creatively added more words applied to this passionate love. It emphasizes the love very well.


Lover's Gifts LII: Tired of Waiting

Tired of waiting, you burst your bonds, impatient flowers, before
the winter had gone. Glimpses of the unseen comer reached your
wayside watch, and you rushed out running and panting, impulsive
jasmines, troops of riotous roses.
You were the first to march to the breach of death, your
clamour of colour and perfume troubled the air. You laughed and
pressed and pushed each other, bared your breast and dropped in
heaps.
The Summer will come in its time, sailing in the flood-tide
of the south wind. But you never counted slow moments to be sure
of him. You recklessly spent your all in the road, in the terrible
joy of faith.
You heard his footsteps from afar, and flung your mantle of
death for him to tread upon. Your bonds break even before the
rescuer is seen, you make him your own ere he can come and claim
you.

52 温东华译


性急的茉莉花，热烈红艳的玫瑰花啊，你们有耐性么？你们等待得太厌倦了么？残冬不去，你们就挣脱束缚在道旁守望着。朦胧的来客才一闪现，你们就冲出去，气喘吁吁而且香汗淋漓。
你们是朝着死亡之谷进军的第一批花卉，色彩和芳香激扰着空气。你们纵声笑乐着，熙熙推搡着。朦胧的来客才一闪现，你们就裸赤肌肤，遍堆红雨。
夏季在南风潮涨上航行，届时登陆；而你们却并不计时较正，却惟凭信念徒赶行程。唉，我的一切不也浪费于此么？
听吧，足音渐近，夏季走来了，你们投下死亡之斗篷，让其凌波微步，即如救者未到，你们就挣脱藩蓠，不是太早了么？现在救者还未曾认领你们，而你们却视其为自己之救主……啊，错误！

Here I am not sure if I get Tagore’s original version, though from what I read of the translation, it seems Mr. Wen added more meanings inside. (Mr. Wen may have a good explanation)



Lover's Gifts LIV: In the Beginning of Time
In the beginning of time, there rose from the churning of God's
dream two women. One is the dancer at the court of paradise, the
desired of men, she who laughs and plucks the minds of the wise
from their cold meditations and of fools from their emptiness; and
scatters them like seeds with careless hands in the extravagant
winds of March, in the flowering frenzy of May.
The other is the crowned queen of heaven, the mother, throned
on the fullness of golden autumn; she who in the harvest-time
brings straying hearts to the smile sweet as tears, the beauty deep
as the sea of silence, -brings them to the temple of the Unknown,
at the holy confluence of Life and Death

54 温东华译


鸿蒙初辟，自神祗之梦灵幻出两位女性。其一乃少男倾心之偶像，乃天堂中舞蹈的神。她慢傲意谑，她纵声大笑，由智者之沉思，愚者之空虚里，勾摄他们之灵魂，并以其荡倚冲虐的手，将之撒在三月放肆的风里，撒在五月繁花怒日的疯狂里。
另一乃天堂里冠冕之皇后，她端坐在秋天功德圆满的宝座上。在收获的季节，她把迷惘之灵魂带给甜蜜如露水的微笑，带给那愁思之海一样深沉的美；带往生与死同汇之圣地，带往未知者之殿堂。

From this verse, we could taste Mr. Wen’s beautiful and concise style of translation.
Those lines are like a serene lake reflecting dark blue and glimmering light. So pure and exquisite. You cannot ignore the images about those two holy women, glory and
enchanting. Mr. Wen greatly enhanced the beauty and power of them.

-----
温东华译

你嬗变为一幅画像，你没有星辰的真实，也没有尘土的真实，它们随万物的生生不息而运动，而你却被固定在你的静止的形象里。
从前你和我结伴而行，你的呼吸煦煦春风一样温暖，你的四肢里全是生命之颂歌，你我的脸相偎，于我的心灵是一个慰藉，你的柔声让我的世界从它那里找到话语。突如其来的死亡让你驻足在永恒的阴影下，让我独自前行。
人生如一个孩童，它一边大笑，一边奔跑，一边摇着哗哗而响的死亡之旗；它召唤我向前，我随着它无影无踪的脚步。可你立在那里，立在运动的星辰与尘土之外。你只是一幅画像。
不，那不会是这样的。假如生命在你那里终止，那么河流就会干涸，色彩绚丽的黎明的足音就会失其节奏；假如你头发的乌亮在绝望的黑色中失去光泽，那么夏天的绿阴也会在自己的梦境中死去。
我们头也不回地匆匆走过，我怎么也忘不了你。我忘了路旁疏疏篱落上的繁花；但花的芬芳潜入我们的呼吸和记忆、并使之象精妙的乐章。你虽然离开人世，然而这一回却是在我生命的席位上就坐，因此，忘记那些是为了于你的永恒的记忆。
我歌唱时，你不再在我眼前，但你已与我歌曲成为一体。你偕第一道晨曦来我身边；日薄西山，最后一线夕照消失，我也就失去了你。从此以后，我在黑暗中寻你觅你。不，你不仅仅是一幅画像。

The verse above I could not find the English version. But I still want to list here.
Since I love it very much. I believe that is the greatest and truest lover’s gift.

The whole version of "Lover's Gifts" are very charming and meaningful. It is heartfelt and sincere. I hope Mr. Wen find love through his writing.


Thanks Mr. Wen for sharing his translation.
-----
注: 斜体为泰戈尔英文版
_________________

[温东华]

感谢你，星子女士！

[[FFFFFF]]

感谢你，星子女士！

[吕文艺]

Thanks!
They reminded me of various dreams of wonder.it is very good!

[[没有]]

Thanks!
They reminded me of various dreams of wonder.it is very good!

[吕文艺]

星子女士为我们提供了新的学习途径！

[[没有]]

星子女士为我们提供了新的学习途径！